[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio

Log In

2025 Conference Championship Sabado

King Hippo

/

,

Welcome and ahoy, despite 90% of the playoff drama being all settled, we still have a few matchups to highlight.  Plus, two MOAR this evening!  We’ll miss this slop when it’s gone…

Original Recipe Big Love (+12.5) v. Guns Up!! at JerralWorld (Noon, ABC)

Now THIS is the real chaos fixture.  Should the Stormin’ Mormons (who Tech disembowled in their regular season matchup) flip the script and win?  The committee is set up to possibly/perhaps-even-likely tell Notre Dame AND Miami-FL to eat shit.  100% my dream scenario, but then I’d worry about GunsUp!! getting screwed (and they are a fun side to watch, at least in Hippo’s view).  Honestly have no idea how to strategerically wishcast here.  Maybe just hope that both squadrons have fun out there?

Miami-OH (+1.5) v. Western Michigan at Dearborn Independent Dome (Noon, ESPN)

The downside of so many quasi-interesting title games moving to Friday?  This MAC-tion turd is really the only flipping option one has.  But hey, Miami is playing for a conference championship after all, dunno what all the hubbub is about (smgdh),

Georgia (-1.5) v. Roll Damn Tide at Megatron’s Butthole (4:00, ABC)

It just #MeansMOAR, y’all Yankees just don’t understand.  Except when it means fuck shit, like it does in this game.  These two will both be in the playoffs, and rightly so.  There are like 7 or 8 SEC teams in the “good not great” range, but I’d like any of them over anyone not participating in tonight’s B1G matchup (TEASER!) – in WICHITA obvs.  I expect to see cautious offensing, such that nobody runs away and hides.  But Kirby is too redass-competitive to not play to win.  He’ll just try to win by keeping a clean sheet.

YES, there is also Lesser Footy this morning, I am just too mind/soul weary to preview it.  Watch for Fronk in the comments, eh?  Fronk-analysis fuckin’ rules, y’all.

5 5 votes
Article Rating
Tags:

Leave a Reply

Subscribe
Notify of
127 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
King Hippo

well, on the bright side if THEEEEEEE take a 21-nil lead on the Brockys (ok, WHEN), at least I can just go the fuck to sleep.

0
King Hippo

FWIW (square root of fuckall), I think 21-7 would be enough to keep Roll Damn Tide in the field.

As long as one of the U/Irish fanbases are pissed off, I’m happy enough.

1
Redshirt

If you’re Georgia, do you let Da Ewe or Team Stereotype in or do you garbage time Alabama into the playoffs?

0
WCS

 Team Stereotype

comment image

0
SonOfSpam

Alabama is playing like they were told they couldn’t fuck relatives anymore.

(“Not even stepmoms???” – Ted Cruz)

6
Redshirt

Uh oh, looks like Sister-Mommy has gotten into the moonshine again.

0
WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEOEfUYRsfg

1
King Hippo

How does one say no mas in Alabaman?

1
Gumbygirl

“Git off me, Uncle daddy!”

11
jjfozz

After 56 years on this earth, and 25 of them as a home owner, I finally have colored outdoor lights. FUCK YEAH!

8
Gumbygirl

I fucking love colored lights. Enough of those boring tasteful white lights, give me all of the tacky!

4
Redshirt

My neighbors spent about 1/2 the money and bulb Clark Griswold used on his house. We swapped out our Edison bulb in our front door light with a $20 kaleidoscope bulb and made their lights look a window decal.

lightshow-kaleidoscope-multi-colored-christmas-lights-projector-with-outdoor-wall-xmas-lights.jpeg (2000×2000)

3
Gumbygirl

Yes!

2
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Spent the afternoon putting up more Christmas lights on the house and in the trees outside and getting the house started to look festive
With only slight flurries and the temperature being just above freezing, it was a nice day.

Mrs GTD is making stew in the instant pot for dinner, so the house smells great.

5
Redshirt

I consider myself a calm, rational person, not prone to random outbursts of emotion and rage. That being said, anyone who attempts to push a football through a hole and not throw it normal should be tied upside down to a field goal upright.

4
SonOfSpam

As usual, a Republican is trying to mandate how we push things through holes.

5
Redshirt

I’m only suggesting that anything that is different than historical norms and customs is out of the ordinary and must be shunned, mocked and punished. What is wrong with that?

6
ballsofsteelandfury

He’s not wrong though

0
Mr. Ayo

BAN DR PEPPER CHALLENGES!

2
scotchnaut

BRING BACK RC COLA OBJECTIONS!

2
Senor Weaselo

BRING BACK RC COLA!

1
Redshirt

Why sub out your Special Teams for a QB Sneak. If anything, run a QB Sneak with your Special Teams.

2
Redshirt

So I guess the question is how is the Committee going to take Alabama, Notre Dame and Miami?

0
Mr. Ayo

Orally probably. Maybe anally if they’re feeling frisky.

3
Redshirt

Roses are red
Violets are not.
Bend over America.
We’re coming in hot!

8
WCS

Figure out a way to get Texas in there, too.

0
Redshirt

“People have been saying Texas is playing like a Group of Five team, so naturally we felt they deserved the G5 Championship spot.”

2
King Hippo

Starting to see why them mock drafters have Ty Simpson going to #ThePauls…

0
Redshirt

Cleveland is skipping the potential phase and going straight to the bust. Factory is streamlining.

1
Redshirt

Momshirt was able to find some Skyline Chili Pizzas. I’ll give you a full report, but I’ve already heard rumblings about the toilets succeeding from Casa des Shirts and making a run for the river before we make a run for the toilets.

6
Redshirt

Not bad. The sauce/chili is thin and the dough is bread-like, like a toasted bun. Mild Cheddar cheese on a pizza is a bit weird as is the sliced hot dog toppings. Diced onions and mustard is muted but does appear to be in there.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

SWEET!!

0
WCS

Defending FCS National Champion North Dakota State just lost in the second round. First time since 2009 they won’t make the Elite Eight of foobawl tournament.

1
Mr. Ayo

GO CATS GO! EAT SHIT GRIZ!

Also, lol Bisons.

2
Gumbygirl

Go Cats Go!

2
WCS

Since we live in Hell Realm, this game is the first of two between these schools this post-season. They’re going to somehow end up in the National Championship Game.

0
SonOfSpam

So all the WC schedules came out today; LA gets two USA games (which we knew) and also two Iran games. Gotta keep em straight, remember which games to burn flags at.

5
Redshirt

I couldn’t find the Skyline Chili Pizza at the store. Cincinnatian Fatty-Fat-Fat Slobs are paradoxically fast when food is involved.

6
scotchnaut

So you’re saying that both move fast for a limited time only?

6
King Hippo

Guns Up!! coach does strike me as a legitimately nice guy, though. But I have no Twwwaaaallllve-related beefs, so I defer to WCS’ fact-checking

1
WCS

He’s only been there like two-and-half years. They fired Matt Wells in the middle of 2021, when the team was 5-3 (?!), let the interim finish the season. It was odd then, and it’s never really been talked about, so that’s probably a 30 For 30 story if these Red Raiders go on a playoff run. Sonnie Cumbie was named interim. A Tech legend, he was the first of the Mike Leach quaterbacks leading murderdeathkill offenses that he Coach Pirate became famous for. He was almost hired full time, but obviously wasn’t. That was pretty controversial, as you may understand. He went 3-3, with a Liberty Bowl win.
Anyway, the then hired current HC Joey McGuire sort of out of nowhere. I don’t know much about him, but, he does have one thing that the other Texas schools don’t have yet: a conference championship. Yeah, they bought it, but A&M’s been trying for over a decade, and now Texas is going to keep doing the same.

0
WCS

Okay, fine, tl;dr not sure if it’s the coach or all the monies they spent

0
WCS

Of all the Texas schools actively and blatantly trying buy championships, anyone have Guns Up winning the first conference title?

1
King Hippo

but ain’t against no ESS EEE SEEEEEE schedule, PPPPPAAAAAAAWWWWWWWLLLLL

2
WCS

Guns up, indeed.

0
scotchnaut

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGbagxHWaTg

1
WCS

Clarence made nerdy-lookin’ guys absolutely dangerous.

1
LemonJello

THIS TEXAS TECH DEFENSE, I CALL THESE GUYS GOD’S HOLY LOOPHOLE BECAUSE THEY ARE ANALLY RAPING BYU’S OFFENSE!

4
King Hippo

Gonna be lots of tears in them Sprites tonight.

1
King Hippo

As a Donks homer, I really like watching the GunsUp!! D-line. Is it the best single position group in the playoffs?

0
yeah right

The other day I bought an 18 pack of bottles. I put them in my trunk which has a squeegee and two cloth shopping bags and nothing else in it.

Pulling out of the parking lot I heard the 18 pack slide all the way across the trunk followed by a crash.

One of the bottles broke and now my car smells like Milwaukee.

I scrubbed the trunk liner, it’s drying in the sun now, and bought a Febreze car dealie.

That smell may never come out.

7
WCS

that sucks
sincerely sorry

/Dad WCS did something similar when WCS was a wee lad and it only ever stopped smelling when dad sold it and it wasn’t our problem any longer

1
yeah right

I promised myself that this would be my last car ever.

I can live with a undercurrent of beer I guess.

1
King Hippo

Borrow a cat, let it piss on the trunk liner. You won’t notice no beer smell no MOAR.

3
WCS

comment image
Not much choice.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Try bleach. There’s a reason why scotchy keeps a jug of it in his trunk.

2
SonOfSpam

Why was the beer in the trunk and not on the seat next to you where you could protect it and drink it?

3
Doktor Zymm

Poor quality glass, you should leave a 2 star review on Instoogle

0
scotchnaut

“Dickey Scores Again!”

-notice on a BYU bulletin board, Sunday morning

1
Don T

Weather’s been fucked down here. My phone says 83 F, but feels like 78 F 🥶
comment image

10
WCS

Looks awful.

2
Mr. Ayo

Wow, sounds terrible.

2
yeah right

Thoughts and prayers.

4
LemonJello

How brave! We salute you!

comment image

3
Horatio Cornblower

I’d offer a paper towel for your tears, but understand your fine island is already overrun with them.

2
Gumbygirl

Two words: Ster No

1
scotchnaut

Ayo congratulated me on my Freezer Vodka victory after Gibbs piled up some points. I’m onto your reverse jinx strategy, buddy. So I’d just like to say, “Ayo, you’re a very gifted fantasy football manager and I have no doubt that you’ll come back and beat me handily.”

/two can play at this game

7
Mr. Ayo

I’m already clear of the relegation zone and secured a playoff spot. My give-a-fuck-meter is close to zero.

3
scotchnaut

Ah, and now you profess to not care. Interesting. I didn’t anticipate this strategy-I feel like Spassky in Iceland in 1972. I’m at my wit’s end as to how to counter.

7
Senor Weaselo

I suggest the Scandinavian.

0
Mr. Ayo

These pool boys are in trouble

0
scotchnaut

I smell chlorine in the water.

1
scotchnaut

This halftime show brought to you by the “Drink Ovaltine” scene in Christmas Story.

0
WCS

Son of a bitch!

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

120 Minutes Playlist Project Update: They only ever played ONE video by this group, which surprises me a bit because I quite enjoy this tune.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuNYyNqCSSg

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

DOUBLE SHOT (a week late, but I only just arrived at its world premiere):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xv8LdKp2Y-8

0
scotchnaut

Mirroring what happens every Saturday night to a coed on the BYU campus, a Dickey found an opening in the defense and pushed right through.

3
jjfozz

And afterwards, no one remembers it happening

0
WCS

Exactly like Monday after a 500s game, regardless of result.

0
scotchnaut

Thank you Arsenal! I hear Man City’s intro music off in the distance…

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes, yes, we all know Man City’s intro music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5aZJBLAu1E

2
jjfozz

Skin infection around her neck, anal glands cleaned out, weighs 107 pounds. Tried to make friends with the FedEx driver today and almost gave him a heart attack. Good thing we love her.

IMG_1223
6
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

107 lbs? That’s like, three Luka Donçic breakfasts!

2
jjfozz

I was wrong, it’s 115

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh so the number of sausage patties that Luka has with said breakfast.

0
WCS

Redshirt, what does Ryan Day have to do this time to stay off the hot seat? At least make the championship game? I get the impression he could win the next five straight, but if there’s one loss to Michigan or even Penn State in there, he’s useless and burn him at the stake.

0
Redshirt

At this point, I’ve learned not to question Ryan Day’s employment, though barring two blowout losses by Indiana and TBD, he’s bought himself a couple of years of the hot seat.

I still think it’s mostly his players doing the work and him getting the credit but he’s winning so he’s doing something right.

0
WCS

And if they go out and murderdeathkill everyone in their path to the Championship, then what? When he does lose his first game at some point next season, will it be forgiven, or is it immediately back to “SEE WE KNEW HE SUCKS” because Ohio.

0
King Hippo

I fully can see Cap’n Dingleberry still getting a $10 haircut. The Bachelor host? Not so much.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Vancouver is going to be the Home of the South Pacific!

Party On!

1
scotchnaut

BYU’s QB is a big ole Chunky Boy.

0
King Hippo

An absolute unit, as the Brits would say.

Have a feeling that the Stormin’ Mormons might take this one. And that as a reult, they shitcan BOTH Miami and ND from the playoffs.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There is zero chance that Notre Dame gets bounced from the playoffs while riding a 10 game win streak. Zero.

0
King Hippo

I dunno, man. Their dropping below Bama gave me hope when there was none, I have a long-standing itch about “why don’t the SEC and B1G make a power play against ND” – ie, show them they have to join a conference or be left behind. This is how and when you’d do it.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Don’t get me wrong, I would LOVE for Notre Dame be on the outside looking in and for everything they did since Week 3 to have been completely futile. I just don’t see the committee letting it happen, not in a million years.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

World Cup schedule with dates, times, and venues is being announced right now.

So much blah blah blah!

2
Jimbo

Moar filler than Kristi Gnome.

2
King Hippo

I welcome all ppls of good faith to join Hippo’s Boycott Bandwagon. Don’t be even a teeny-tiny bit a part of the Infantino/Trump analingus circus.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

You really want for ME to boycott analingus?

Know your audience, buddy

0
King Hippo

Every time you try it from now on (EWWWWWWWWW), you’ll see Infantino’s ugly face and Trump’s cottage cheese arse.

YOU’RE WELCOME HIPPO SAVED UR SOLE smgdh

Last edited 4 months ago by King Hippo
5
ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

5
Redshirt

It’s evolving…

comment image

IMG_2630
2
ballsofsteelandfury

I wonder if that’s available to ship…

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Apparently, this is only available this weekend.

Redshirt, will you buy/taste it and let us know how it is?

0
Redshirt

I’ll see what I can do.

2
Mr. Ayo

It’s hard to fuck up pizza, but they’re doing a bang up job of trying.

3
Doktor Zymm

I suspect that’ll taste just fine. There are, imo, three sure fire ways to fuck up pizza, and none of them involve toppings.
1) undercooked crust
2) sugar in the sauce
3) fake cheese

2
Redshirt

4) Ranch dressing as the sauce
5) Nuts on a Hawaiian pizza.

1
Doktor Zymm

Nuts? That’s a new one

0
Mr. Ayo

And this one meets all three criteria.

1) Look at how much crust to ingredients ratio. That crust has to be undercooked or the toppings will be char dust.
2) Skyline chili is nothing more than cinnamon and sugar spices.
3) Skyline’s cheese is processed fake cheese.

Plus they have hot dogs which are just mystery meat paste in a just as unknowable casing.

0
yeah right

I would try the fuck out of that.

0
Doktor Zymm

Forgot how much I like not having to drive anywhere. My eternal question bout California, it’s so nice out year round, why didn’t they build it up to be more walkable?

4
yeah right

That video is from the US Festival.

I was right there.

It was hot as balls that day.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Remember Balls’ underwear reviews (one of the site’s biggest traffic drivers, if I remember correctly)? We should revisit things ten years later.

2
Redshirt

Conference Championship Saturday, the day Western Michigan gets to be something other than a cupcake and everyone asks “Why are the Hurricanes wearing red?”

0
Doktor Zymm

Back in town, time to go see the horseys!

3
yeah right

If it ever creeps out of the 50’s I’ll be getting out there for a walk.

Survived a shit fuck of a week and I need to de-stress.

Happy Saturday.

4
King Hippo

Real weenie shrinker over here in Cakalaky, too

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Ugh. It’s chilly here too. You know what they say: when it rains, it pours.” – D. Favre, Hattiesburg MS

2
Doktor Zymm

As long as it’s decently sunny you’ll warm right up on a walk, and might help with the destressing? Either way, fingers crossed for a relaxing day

2
yeah right

Thanks. It’s bright and sunny out there.

1
King Hippo

HOLY SUDDEN CHANGE BATMAN

0
yeah right

Look at the rarified air the Toffees are breathing.

0
King Hippo

F-I-F!! Somebody drop the bomb so the Table stay where it is!!!

0
King Hippo

Black Jesus made Madueke hit the side netting smh

1
King Hippo

Handsome Mikel will have to put on his Rough Trade face for HT…

0
127
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x