It’s 10:30, I just polished off a raspberry spandauer (which is good) and chai (which is mid at best) from Ole & Steen, and it’s the day where I’m at the school until 12, and then I’ve got some business uptown (more on that later?) so let’s Carpenter this out! Think Peter King meandering but it’s not in the middle of a 5000 word column!
-Today’s World’s Worst Sound: I was at Times Square on the downtown 1/2/3 platform when I heard what could best be described as a combination of two party horns about a half-step apart from each other, a traffic cop’s whistle, and a humming drone sound, also dissonant from the party horns. Now, being a musician and knowing that city soundscapes exist, I thought maybe it was some sort of Lunar New Year installment (weird to have at Times Square, but not gonna judge) so I took the first minute to listen and parse through it. But then it didn’t let up and the sanity shift hit. I have perfect pitch and I definitely have an added sensitivity to particularly jarring or dissonant sounds. I have a party trick when teaching or listening that a different eye twitches depending on whether a note is too high or low.
So after the first minute or so the thought process went from “Wow, does this thing rest?” to “Ugh, it sounds like a middle school band and they finally know how to make a sound, so that sound is absolutely awful” to “If I had to listen to this for a half hour I would probably dive for the third rail after 15 minutes” to “Where is this fucking—oh good, there’s the 3.”
-Bringing back the Mailbag:
Dear Senor,
How long should one wait after a long-term relationship before potentially getting into a new one and not feel like you’re pulling an Erika Kirk?
Well, first off, was your significant other murdered? Were you married? And did you have kids?
No, she broke up with you; no; and no? Uh, listen to your heart I guess but be mindful and be deliberate. If our patron of the mailbag has taught us anything, communication is key, whether it’s determining feelings with a partner, trying to navigate logistical challenges like distance, or anal.
Just don’t get another person potentially caught in your trauma. Trauma bonding is not a healthy relationship. Keep working on yourself in addition to any new potential endeavors—there is not one, but THREE entities in a (monogamous) relationship (no, not like the Holy Trinity), and you are at least partially responsible for two of them. Be aware that there might be more hidden layers of grieving that you didn’t know existed inside you—maybe you won’t get into those layers for months, or maybe it’ll be a heat of the moment realization, or maybe not at all. I should not be the one giving advice here.
Either way, talk to them. Especially if they already know your story. They’ll understand. And if you’re as much of a romantic as I am, with no intent of being casual in your dating life, if it’s worth it, it’ll be worth that little bit of extra wait and extra self-assurance before truly diving in. As Padre Weaselo was once told during an open mic jam in Florida, New York cats, they play for keeps.
Just remember, folks, wrap it before you tap it.
All right, we already know the Olympics are on, but anything else? College basketball (the Fightin’ Weaselos are in action on TNT, and then afterwards the Fightin’ Horatios; a pair of ranked on ranked matchups are on ESPN) and CONCACAF club action on… FS2?
All right, enjoy the fare!
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