Random Thoughts with BFC, Volume 35

Remember that old SNL sketch “Fecal Matter with your host John Fecal”? No? Yeah I figured it was just me. It was a solid (heh) talk show format with a specialized host and topic. Well, we ain’t exactly doing Pod Flies Open around here, but what about in written form, maybe say like a mix between John Fecal, Jack HandeyBalls’ 25 questions, Rev’s take on Larry King, and I don’t know, my own fucked up mind? With that backdrop I present to you the thirty-fifth edition of a potentially sporadically recurring irregularly scheduled Random Thoughts with BFC! Now also (occasionally) in open thread form! If you want to make this interactive, drop a note/question/bon mot in the comments ala my old Mouth Flies Open  attempt at an advice column.

  • No idea how I ended up with the regular Thursday morning slot, but if any of you are interested in pitching in or taking it, just let any of us know. I’m not used to having to be reliable lately and am happy to be let off  the hook. Plus this is kind of a Karen Carpenter job since I just got home from Europe this week and had a bunch of people over last night to play board games and drink copious cocktails.
  • The silver lining for you is it means I don’t have the time for a political screed or some eggheaded nerd stuff for this post.
  • You know you’re in Europe when you show up to check in for your severely delayed flight and without any prompting, the airline personnel apologizes and hands you a 20 euro voucher for airport food. In the US, you’re more likely to just get (metaphorically…or maybe also literally) kicked in the dick than compensation without asking for it.
  • On my way back from the train station (don’t ask about the multimodal journey coming home) my Lyft driver had on a gospel channel with some music that absolutely slapped. You don’t have to believe in Jesus to toe tap along with some rocking gospel. They nailed that one.
  • At the risk of being an old man yelling at a cloud, I was at a neighborhood restaurant the other day sitting at the bar, and the bartender was hitting their vape pen behind the bar. I actually had a moment where I was like am I being weird or is this ridiculous? Given that it was distracting and detracting from the job of bartending (read: I couldn’t get another beer or my check promptly), I think it was ridiculous.
  • Just go the fuck outside to vape or in the break room or whatever.  Not just for me, but for yourself, a break at work should be an actual break. That was like half of the point of that longform piece on smoking RTD shared the other night. At least I think it was, I only read the first third because the internet has broken my brain.
  • As with my time in London, how about some random pictures from the French leg of the trip? No objections because this is a one way conversation? Splendid.

  • As you may or may not be able to tell from those pictures, it was an incredible trip. It was a long time away from home, but every time I get the chance to visit some place new I’m so grateful to see a new part of the world and meet new people, and I’m reminded how important it is to get out there and experience other things to learn about others and yourself.
  • Plus we brought back some really good wine.
  • I’m sure you have many questions, and I’m open to potentially answering some of them.
  • In my last few random thoughts posts, I haven’t been including a fill in the blank. So sorry. But now that I’ve remembered, let’s close it out with that interactive bit.
  • It’s often said that tumultuous times lead to really good art. Given the current state of America (and some of the rest of the world), I’m really hoping we get _____________ out of all of this.
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ballsofsteelandfury

As for the bartender, I think it really depends on what kind of bar it was.

If it’s a dive bar, all bets are off. You’re lucky they weren’t doing coke off the bar.

Any place that tries to be respectable should have a problem with what you described.

ballsofsteelandfury

I was going to say good music, but there is good electronic/dance music right now.

Pop/rock is dead.

I would go with good funny movies with gratuitous nudity, but I fear we are too far down the PC rabbit hole to have them again.

Horatio Cornblower

Given the current state of America (and some of the rest of the world), I’m really hoping we get _____________ out of all of this.

A GREAT BIG NEW ORLEANS STYLE FUNERAL PARADE WHEN A CERTAIN SOMEONE KICKS IT, AND THE SOONER THE BETTER

Horatio Cornblower

Nah, I like him so much more since he forced Duke to hire Jon Scheyer and shit all over his own legacy on the way out the door.

Horatio Cornblower

My daughter is in Paris today, (she took my Applebee’s money to pay $12 a day to use her phone), and sent a picture of the Eiffel Tower with the caption “OK? Cool? I guess?” just in case you wondered if my kids were just as big assholes as I am.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

$12/day to use her phone? What plan are you on? If they’re going to gouge you like that, next time get an e-sim card.

BugEyedBoo

TIL that ducks quack “coin coin” in France.

Sexxy Rexxy coaster. Needs to be printed with a 0.2mm nozzle, or blown up to dinner plate size.

rexxy
blaxabbath

What’s the first steps to take when wanting to get into the boat life after decades in the desert? Ocean vessels. I don’t see a beginners yacht club anywhere.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, stay away from the Strait of Hormuz; I’m hearing bad things.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[mishears, stays away from the straights of Hormuz, has an incredibly festive time including a chance encounter with Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show]

ballsofsteelandfury

Are you talking about going on cruises or getting your own boat?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Have you ever seen One Crazy Summer? Start there. And then watch Better Off Dead, that’s good too, it will help stave off any suicidal inclinations you have after you realize that you have to be born into the boating life, like Betsy DeVos was. Or I suppose you could kill to get into the club, like Linda O’Leary did.

2Pack

Glad your trip went so well. Hopefully jet lag wasn’t too bad for you.

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