Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
WTF Weather?
Last night, there were frost warnings, but should be like spring spring, not even false spring. I’m hoping it warms up and I can start planting this weekend. May even be brave and take the cover off the air conditioner and if I’m feeling super frisky, I’ll get the hose out.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Instead of sitting around debating all day, I’m gonna take Clue.
Doktor Zymm
Look folks, if Geoffrey Epstein was good with just the one island we should be as well.*
*my strangled corpse is found in my office later this afternoon.
scotchnaut
Lady BFC and I are watching Speed. She has never seen it before. Her reactions so far are incredible.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
I watched that for the first time on a bus
Doktor Zymm
We all know The Canadia is sad about Go Leafs Go! But will the nation rally around Les Habitantes, or only the Francophones?
King Hippo
We will not be rallying around the Habs because their fans are arrogant and a significant minority want leave the nation given the first chance.*
*we’ve tried to explain how bad that would be for them as an adult would to a child *but they just won’t listen!*
scotchnaut
Does Mrs. Scotchy also support the Senators, or is y’all’s a mixed marriage?
Or I guess Door #3, where she just hopes both teams have fun and nobody gets hurt.
King Hippo
The Mrs has never watched televised sports at any time, ever. I could tell her that I need to watch the St. Louis Bath Hounds in the European Dog-Washing Quarter Finals in Riga and she’ll just shrug her shoulders and go about being a far more productive member of society. Damn her priorities!
scotchnaut
Sensational hustle here Sir.
2Pack
I have a crappy job, which I hate, who cares?
I had to work tonight. Around 8:00 I had a chance to grab my last 15 minute break which means straight to my hooptie and hit my vape. I have a terrible job might as well be baked.
As I approached my car a young man moved quickly up from nowhere right into my personnel space and said in a very menacing voice
“Give me everything”!
Time froze, I didn’t speak. I didn’t move. I just stared into his eyes (they always tell of your opponents next move!) After about 3 (seemed like hours) seconds he makes a strange “Huh Huh’ sound and says “I was only kidding”.
Starting to back away he again makes that “Huh Huh” queer laughing sound, turns and walks briskly away again saying’
Hey man I was just kidding”
What just happened?
Moved so fast there was no time to be scared.
Turns out several other places near my (not going to tell you where I work) crummy job have said there is a serial strong armed robber a boot.
The cops said I should have given him what ever he wanted as my life is more important than my stuff.I didn’t want to be a victim so I just stared into his coward’s eyes and he turned into what he actually is, a scared child.
Probably should have been murdered tonight.
DJ TAJ
da king
Gatoraids
Timely! I’m doing my first HPDE of the year this Friday and Saturday at Sears Point.
Although I am in an open passing group. I believe this organizer still wants point bys, but the passing can be done anywhere. I should read up on their rules before I go.
Mr. Ayo
I am in an open passing group
Let me know how the key party goes.
scotchnaut
Swapping out one of the three meds with another. Similar side effects but no need to ice hands and feet during. Which for me means no more hauling fifty pounds of ice packs! A very small but acceptable win.
NotShogunButShogun
My oldest just went on a rant about America, says he’s moving to Portugal.
I agreed with most of what he said – 21 year old rage and passion – but part of me was thinking, “Wow. If your great grandfather was here he’d beat you senseless with a six pack of Bud grenade bottles and kick you in the nuts.”
jjfozz
NBA ANNOUNCER: [talks about how French players Rudy Gobert and Victor Wembanyama both have received DPOY awards]
DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ. (ret): Huh. I hadn’t thought that France was known for its defense.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
I just got back from swimming and am so calorie-deficient I feel like I’m going to collapse.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Now you know how Andy Reid feels between Second Breakfast and Elevensies.
Horatio Cornblower

Don T
Sexxy Rexxy reprinted in 0.2mm.
BugEyedBoo
Today was the culmination of a recipe attempt. Fallow posted something on their social channels about cooking leeks 3 ways: Charring the inedible green tops and using them to infuse an oil, that you then confit the bottom parts of the leeks in. Once they’re cooked, you char them and top with homemade Leek mayo. Made from the aforementioned leek oil.
This was theirs:
This was mine
I think I did OK
*Yes, my plating sucks, and yes, I forgot to char them. I have more that I cooked, and will char those tomorrow when I have them
Sharkbait
Found a funny:
It turns out a ceiling fan will not cut a bagel in half even on high speed.
I also need a new window.
Brocky
I am Grumpmaxxing today
Doktor Zymm

Don T
I got my squished boob photos (aka mammogram) today. Making the appointment on the phone actually took longer than the actual procedure, can’t wait till I have to spend even more time on the phone dealing with medical stuff, aging is stupid
Doktor Zymm
Union Person: “I need extra scheduled hours on Tuesday and Wednesday for the additional tasks you’ve given me.”
Me: “That’s a reasonable ask.” [schedules person for extra hours the following week on those days]
Union Person: [works the Monday and Thursday but calls in sick on Tuesday and Wednesday]
Also Union Person: “Can I get extra hours on Friday because I missed Tuesday and Wednesday?”
Me: “And disrupt every other person’s schedule with no notice? Maybe you could go fuck yourself six ways from Sunday, you piece of shit.”*
*not verbalized
scotchnaut
Ciao tutti. Got the garden in. Doubled up on the beets this year because last year’s first planting of those was sensational.
2Pack
Daughter just showed up for Mother’s Day.
Gave me a belated birthday gift: Arsenal jersey straight from the stadium store in North London. No name, because jerseys with names on them are apparently $400 (pounds).
Gonna be awkward when I’m jumping up and down on it in the driveway in about 45-50 minutes.
Horatio Cornblower
Ok, someone called the Cybertruck a “Dorkenpanzer” and I can hardly breathe.
scotchnaut
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Doktor Zymm
What’s this about a dinosaur meme?
Doktor Zymm

WCS
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
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