Random Thoughts with BFC, Volume 36

Remember that old SNL sketch “Fecal Matter with your host John Fecal”? No? Yeah I figured it was just me. It was a solid (heh) talk show format with a specialized host and topic. Well, we ain’t exactly doing Pod Flies Open around here, but what about in written form, maybe say like a mix between John Fecal, Jack Handey, Balls’ 25 questions, Rev’s take on Larry King, and I don’t know, my own fucked up mind? With that backdrop I present to you the thirty-sixth edition of a potentially sporadically recurring irregularly scheduled Random Thoughts with BFC! Now also (occasionally) in open thread form! If you want to make this interactive, drop a note/question/bon mot in the comments ala my old Mouth Flies Open attempt at an advice column.

• Fuuuuuck I forgot I was still on the hook for every Thursday. This might be more random than usual given that I’m writing it hungover while eating breakfast (yogurt, granola, banana for the nosey neighbors/inquiring minds)
• The good news is that it will be brief, too.
• Speaking of good news, it did indeed rain yesterday, so my allergies were about 40% less bad. I probably do need to get off my fat ass and back to an allergist’s office at some point, but that seems like a lot of work. Especially right now when I want to go back to bed.
• I may have had one/three too many beers last night
• Anyhoodles, I was walking around my neighborhood last week and saw this

• In case you haven’t zoomed in, that’s people fixing a statue by lighting it on fire. I’m sure they were doing other things, but I was walking to meet someone so I didn’t hang around to see if they were just cleaning it or softening up the metal to fuck with it. Flamethrowers are incredible tools, and I did not expect to see them deployed on local art installations.
• Speaking of local arts, DC has this awesome program called Porchfest where neighbors host bands on their front porches and people just walk around drinking and listening to music. The Adams Morgan one was last week, and people very much enjoyed/needed the change of pace from “our elected neighbors are making life hell” to “people that live here are actually pretty great.” Here’s some random guy’s instagram post for a taste, and there’s another one in Petworth (a different DC neighborhood) May 30th if you happen to be in town at the end of the month.
• I couldn’t go last weekend because I had a footy match, which we lost by one point. Heartbreaking.
• What other randomness do I have for you? Oh, speaking of bad MAGA neighbors, here’s the ugliest vehicle around made uglier with custom mods:

• If you zoom in there, you can see they added a roof rack, some weird ugly shit on the back, and what I can only assume are tools to attack protestors on the front. New douchebaggery level unlocked.
• Ok. I think this LiveJournalesque brain vomiting has scratched the itch for a Thursday morning post. Let’s wrap it up with another fill in the blank.
• I’ve been reading Stephen King’s 11/22/1963 lately, so drawing some inspiration from that with a big shift, how about:
• “If I could go back in time (but not to kill Baby Hitler or anything like that), I would be most excited to _______________.”