Missmember

The Internet is a wonderful weird place that has led me down many interesting rabbit holes.  I just got out of one thanks to this article in the New Statesman.

It’s worth a click,  but the main gist is that there are certain commonly accepted facts that are,  upon review, totally and completely false.

I know.  Mind blown.

So,  I started reevaluating everything I know about the NFL to determine what was real and what wasn’t.  The results of my research are below.  Read at your own risk.

Belief: The Cleveland Browns have been bad at football since their heyday before we were all born and when they won many NFL Championships.

Evidence: This year.  Last year.  The year before that. I could go on. And I did.  And that’s where things got interesting.  In the 80s, the Browns actually made it to the AFC Championship! Three times! And won the AFC Central (Yes, it was a real division,  Trust me on this.) a total of five times!

And yes,  there is videotape:

Conclusion: My belief is wrong.  The Cleveland Browns WERE good and will be good again!

***

Belief: Roger Goodell Is A National Disgrace.

Evidence: This entire site.  The collected works of KSK. All rational thought of every human being on the planet not named Peter King.

Or so I thought.

Researching more deeply,  I discovered some startling evidence that,  should I choose to reveal it,  may land myself and the founders of this site in some deep waters and get DTZM sued which would be a strict violation of the prime directive.  There would go our $12 shares.

Conclusion: You’re just going to have to trust me on this: Roger Goodell is NOT a National Disgrace.

He is an INTERNATIONAL Disgrace.

***

Belief: The Seattle Seahawks started in the AFC West and then switched to the NFC West recently.

Evidence: My own personal memories.  The collected works of Dick Enberg. I swear to Bleergh he was always announcing Seahawks/AFC West games,  wasn’t he?

Or so I thought.  Turns out the Seahawks started in the NFC West!

Conclusion: Reality is breaking down. I’m starting to lose it.

***

Belief: The Houston Oilers will play the Houston Texans on Week 17 for the AFC South.

Evidence: I have drank a lot of Nyquil. Like a lot.  Plus some tequila.  Did I mention that pot is legal in California?

Conclusion: Purple Monkey Dishwasher

 Editor’s Note: DFO is very proud to feature Trent Greene as a new columnist. As soon as we get his permissions straight,  he will get his own bio. We may need to get rid of the math problem in order to log in,  though.