Your “What The Hell Are These?!” Afternoon Bowl Games Open Thread

Seriously, there’s too many of these. Anyone who watched last night’s Foster Farms Bowl saw a near-empty stadium

and a meh football game. Actual attendance wasn’t announced, but they did tarp off the 18000-seat upper deck. As always, let’s blame Jed York for this failure.

I doubt this many fans will attend Sunday’s Niners-Seahawks game, and those that do will probably be outnumbered by travelling 12s. They might have well had that game as a doubleheader, given how poorly they scraped off the Niners logos in the endzone.

So, with that in mind, let us see what’s on the agenda for this afternoon. All game information is from tvguide.com. All random observations are from the perspective of an ignorant Canadian with insomnia.

Birmingham Bowl: South Florida vs. South Carolina – 2:00PM | ESPN

South Florida (10-2) vs. South Carolina (6-6) at Legion Field. The Bulls have a versatile QB in junior Quinton Flowers, who amassed nearly 4,000 yards of offense this season. South Carolina overcame a 2-4 start and gelled behind freshman QB Jake Bentley.

The Birmingham Bowl has been around since 2006. It was previously the Papa John’s Bowl (2006-2010) and the BBVA Compass Bowl (2011-14). They have had no corporate sponsor since then. _(wikipedia)

• South Florida are the Bulls.
  • They come from Tampa, so I assume they all have MRSA.
  • Tampa & Tempe share the same word structure, so I assume both are safety schools for regional residents.
• Their cheerleaders are called the “Sun Dolls”

• South Carolina are the Gamecocks.
  • Steve Spurrier quit being head Cock back in October.
    • I bet he wishes he’d had Tebow.
• Sadly, the cheerleaders are not the Cockettes” or “Coquettes”
  • They have three sets of “Spirit” squads: All-Girl, Co-ed, Dance
    • Here is the All-Girl team

Belk Bowl: Arkansas vs. Virginia Tech – 5:30PM | ESPN

Arkansas (7-5) vs. Virginia Tech (9-4) in Charlotte. ACC Coastal champ Virginia Tech makes its 24th straight bowl appearance, while Bret Bielema’s Razorbacks go for their third bowl win in as many years. Junior QBs Austin Allen and Jerod Evans duel.

Belk is a Charlotte-based department store chain, and has sponsored the game since 2011. The game was certified by the NCAA as the Queen City Bowl and was previously known as the Continental Tire Bowl (2002–2004) and the Meineke Car Care Bowl (2005–2010). _(wikipedia)

• Arkansas are the Razorbacks
  • I believe Jerry Jones & Jimmy Johnson went here, and were roommates or lovers.
    • This explains their acrimony.
  • Is there a Texarkana, Arkansas?
• The “Spirit Squad” is comprised of a “Cheer Squad” and a “Pom Squad”
  • Here is some of the Pom Squad

• Virginia Tech are the Hokies
  • Did Michael Vick fight dogs here too, or was that his brother?
  • Did they call the school “Tech” because “Blech!” was already copyrighted by Don Martin & MAD?
• Virginia Tech run a co-ed “Spirit Squad”
  • so I had my work cut out for me

If nothing else, there will soon be another Free Ballin Football podcast available for your enjoyment, so you’ll have that going for you. Which is nice.

HAVE AT IT!