Of all of the major professional sports, the NFL’s All Star game, the Pro Bowl, has become the biggest joke of all IMHO. And yes, I’m including the NBA in that. Jeebus.
But they are still playing it apparently, and some of us will probably watch it. And I’m using the royal “us” there. I won’t be watching it.
But here’s some information about it anyway.
–
AFC vs NFC – 3:00pmEST – TV: ABC/ESPN
Coaches: Mike Tomlin (AFC) and Sean Payton (NFC)
Rules which differ from real NFL games (and some are very significant, btw), to try to prevent injuries:
- No motion or shifting by the offense
- Offense must have a tight end in all formations
- Offense may have 1 or 2 receivers on the same side
- Intentional grounding is legal
- Defense must run a 4–3 at all times, though the Cover 2 and press coverage is allowed
- No blitz
- No blindside or below the waist blocks
- Can not rush punts, PATs or FG attempts
- Two timeouts per period. If team has one unused timeout left over at end of the odd period they can carry over to next period; however they can not carry over from one half to next, nor from 4th period into first overtime.
- Coin toss determines who receives first; loser receives to start 3rd period
- Kickoffs are eliminated (including free kicks)
- Teams will start on their own 25-yard line after any score or at the start of each half/odd overtime
- 38-second play clock to run plays
- Clock will not stop on sacks outside last 2 minutes of regulation/4th overtime
- Clock stops in last 2 minutes of each period when team with ball can not gain any yardage. Exception applies to team in the lead in 4th period, who can let their QB kneel down and use up the leftover time to win it.
- 44-player roster per team
- Clock starts after incompletions on referee’s signal outside last 2 minutes of 2nd period/2 OT or last 5 minutes of 4th/4 OT
If you want to read more about it, you can here, here and here. But like I said. It’s a joke and it’s not football.
Which is why I’ll be watching Hockey and College Basketball today.
–
NHL
NHL All Star Game – 3:30pmEST – TV: NBC
Probably the most fun All Star format going, IMHO. 3 on 3 hockey, and it’s three, three, three games in one. Each game consists only two periods lasting only 10 minutes each.
- Game 1 – 3:30pm – Central Division vs Pacific Division
- Game 2 – 4:30pm – Metropolitan Division vs Atlantic Division
- Game 3 – 5:30pm – Winner Gm1 vs Winner Gm2
NBA
On TV:
- Phoenix @ Houston – 3:30pmEST – TV: NBATV
- Philly @ OKC – 6:00pmEST – TV: ESPN
NCAAB
Top 25 on TV:
- (1)Villanova @ Marquette – 1:00pmEST – TV: FOX
- (6)Michigan State @ Maryland – 1:00pmEST – TV: CBS
- (3)Purdue @ Indiana – 3:30pmEST – TV: FOX
- Tulsa @ (17)Wichita State – 6:00pmEST – TV: CNSSN
- (18)Clemson @ Georgia Tech – 6:00pmEST – TV: ESPNU
Oh, and speaking of college basketball, this happened yesterday…
Suck it you cheating bastards. And in two weeks, we’re gonna kick your ass again.
As an aside, as UVa was downing Duke in Durham, some of you might recall that I predicted the storyline would be when was the last time Duke and U*NC both lost at home on the same day?
Yep, yep and yep. And there’s more than that, trust me. And it was all over the local broadcast sports reports last night too. Those poor bastards were practically crying.
But I can’t take credit for being smrt on this one. Sports journalism is lazy and predictable, unfortunately.
OK, I’m done with my shameless NC State plug now. Go watch something.
And remember to talk about it in the comments. Unless you watch the Pro Bowl. Because then I’ll have to make fun of you.
(just kidding…probably)
–
Who’s the hardest working man in show business? Is it me?
Oh man, that Women’s Royal Rumble was bitter sweet. I’m guessing Asuka takes on Ronda, Sasha fights Bayley, and Alexa fights Nia Jax and Charlotte fights, I dunno, let’s say Moe.
Big ups to the WWE for not changing camera views when they had Kelly Kelly’s vag on screen when she was clinging onto the ropes
I love movies for many reasons and I love the Academy for recognizing them. As an informed, evolved and hopefully enlightened species you should be watching the nominations for best documentaries. The best movies I’ve seen this year come from that category.
Last men in Aleppo is required viewing. As is Icarus.
This is not an elective course.
Show your work.
So Ronda Rousey showed up. So I guess we’re actually doing this bullshit.
Ha! Have fun with that because she’s all yours now. No chance she comes back to the UFC when they’ve got Cyborg under contract and she can’t duck fighting her anymore. I’d love to see Santos just wear her ass out.
Looks like she signed a full-time contract. So she’ll be exclusive there. Guess she’s getting out while the getting’s good. Of course, her buddy Shayna Baszler actually worked her way up the indies and got to WWE-level on her own. So I’m extra annoyed at her skipping ahead of the line so I can watch her be as good as day 1 Shayna.
How’s her head movement?
Hard to tell when her entire 5 minute appearance involved pointing at the Wrestle Mania signs and looking around like she wasn’t sure what to do next.
That’s probably the CTE setting in after her last fight.
http://mmaversus.com/2016/12/31/ronda-rousey-vs-amanda-nunes-fight-video-ufc-207/
Skip to the 2:09 mark. It won’t take long after that.
Also a really good reason to never pay for UFC fights.
Oh yeah. I watched her get murdered the last few times. I just don’t particularly care about Ronda Rousey when they’ve already got a really good crop of performers to work with.
It’s going to be depressing as shit when she squashes Asuka in 10 seconds at Mania and loses when her train wreck of a life catches up with her and she gets endeavored
From the “I am not making this up” department: the woman who sat next to me on the plane was wearing a Tom Brady jersey. She was approximately 6’3″ and 239 lbs. Later on she started watching Big Bang Theory.
The woman in a different row who let me join her so I could escape is the greatest hero in American history.
Ohhhh, Big Bang Theory!! I just love intelligent humor.
I love how they’re sexual predators but no one cares because they’re nerds
So my wife has been in CA for the better part of a week helping her father and step-mom move transition to a retirement community. She is apparently going to be shipping back a metric shit-ton of clothing a jewelry that step-mom insisted she take. I was mentioning this to a friend, (because, and I am not kidding here, we are talking about two full racks of clothes and a couple of boxes of necklaces), and saying that I have no idea where we’re going to put this stuff and he says:
“Could be worse; she could be coming back with the parents.”
This has been your daily reminder that behind every silver lining there is a dark cloud, and also never to bet on the UCONN men’s basketball team.
You couldn’t have told me that four hours ago?
Also, best of luck to wifey. That’s a stressful thing. Be nice to her.
Oh I am. She lost her mother about a year ago. It’s been an eventful year for her.
And, as I mentioned below, if you are ever inclined to put money on any UCONN team, please DM me first. I know a lot of people who know a lot of things about UCONN athletics that don’t make the papers and, right now, I wouldn’t bet on the men to cover the spread against a decent juco program.
Understood. But having watched Temple a coupla times this year, I really didn’t think even UConn could fuck that one up.
Ooooops.
See below. Don’t ever bet on any UCONN team for any reason without DM’ing me first. I can’t guarantee anything, but I would have saved you $100 tonight.
I’m just glad I didn’t go $300. Almost did.
Title match where Brock Lesnar just took a shoot knee and responded with a shoot straight right. This could be the day we see Brock attempt to murder a man for real.
Imagine how terrifying it must be to have Brock Lesnar angry at you
https://video.twimg.com/tweet_video/DUrRO-ZXUAIBTku.mp4
Meh, just punch him as hard as you can right in the stomach.
That giardia is the gift that keeps on giving. To opponents.
Nice to see WWE didn’t shit the bed with the Rumble winner this year. Though, it would have been amazing if Miz came out to Daniel Bryan’s music.
At least Brie didn’t come out to Daniel Bryan’s music.
This is a tasty burger.
Someone went to Big Kahuna Burger.
How’s the beverage… tasty as well?
What?
Dead Ninja Storage?
I think that’s one of the primary tenets of the MAGA movement.
I SAID DOES MARCELLUS WALLACE LOOK LIKE A BITCH???
What?
(lol)
BANG!
And what about the meatballs?
UConn about to lose this game by 20+ or moar. Temple hadn’t even had a lead at home bigger than 7 points this year before tonight.
DAMMIT UCONN!!!!!!!!
My first year there was 87-88. Won the NIT tournament that spring and we set the campus on fire. 4 NCAA championships since then, (which no other school can match), the last in 2014, but Jesus fuck, you can just burn that to the fucking ground, because the last couple of years have been horrendous,
Part of that is Ollie, who is not a college coach, (and also not 6’3″, because I went at him in a bar* years ago and, at 6’1″, was looking down on him), but the bigger part is that, thanks to the fucking genius decision to pursue D-1 fo’bawl gloree, the Big East died and (thanks to Calhoun burning bridges like an arsonist with a Viagra prescription and a Shell gasoline gift card), the ACC giving the Huskies a big “FUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUU” during conference realignment, no player worth anything wants to commit to play Tulsa, Tulane and Houston 2X a year so UCONN has to “allegedly”** commit recruiting violations to get 3 star recruits and as a result they are woefully outgunned by any Big 5 conference team and not a few teams from even lesser conferences.
I mean, fuck’s sake, they had to come back against St. Bonaventure this year.
*Kevin Ollie was actually totally in the right in that situation, trying to break up a fight between my brother and some douchebag that had a thing for his then girlfriend. He was very gracious about me inserting my drunken self into the situation and is, so far as I know, a very good guy. But still not 6’3”.
**Allegedly my ass. When this gets done I’ll be stunned if they’ll be eligible for any post-season tournaments before 2022. Of course, I’d also be stunned at this point if they qualified for any post-season tournaments before 2025, with or without sanctions.
Elon Musk has $500 flamethrowers available… so can we get some for the clubhouse, Dad?
Why can’t you lazy fucks build your own?
You drink everything that we could reasonably use as fuel.
Because Seamus won’t stop huffing all the aerosol products. Same reason all our whip cream has to be homemade. Well, that and because we’re fucking civilized.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop shooting whipped cream up my ass.
Yeah, “stopped.”
Listen, you can call yourself an eclair all you want, nobody’s going to believe you.
This might be my favorite thread, ever.
Cross your collective fingers. Putting an offer in on a house.
Good luck!
Ooph. Gotcha, but I wish I’d taken them out first.
Ah yes, the American dream: A lifetime of debt!
Best of luck!
Yeah, but the good thing is that home values never, EVER go down.
/Zillow’s property address
//hangs self in worthless house
It’ll be a seasonal rental, so not as much debt! Only some of the crippling debt!
Congrats! JPP said he’s sorry he couldn’t be much help.
Good luck.
Hire a very good inspector and, if there’s crime scene tape over the door when the inspector shows up, just walk away.
Relevant
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfuCxlVUngE
Goddammit UConn. You suck more than I thought apparently.
Good. Fuck ’em.
Oh I have no love for them in general, don’t get me wrong.
But I do have action on them tonight.
And they’ve actually managed to make Temple look competent so far.
I mean
20-4 run by Temple right now.
grumble grumble.
Happy I only put one bill on the Huskies. Buncha fuck ups.
Is this a Lewinsky joke?
Yeah, that was even more well done than a Trump steak.
Suckiest bunch of sucks to ever suck?
Tonight, they’re definitely in the running for honorable mention at least.
Buddy, UCONN is really, really bad this year, half the team is under investigation for recruiting violations, (which in its own way is hilarious because the idea of violating rules to get any of these slapdicks to commit is beyond stupidity), and the coach has one foot out the door and the other on a banana peel.
Do not ever bet on UCONN this year. Ever.
All-Star games are boring.
NHL players are excruciatingly boring. It’s PK Subban and a bunch of mayonnaise sandwiches.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmyF-DBIq2I
Probably cause theyre too busy hustling back on defense to develop a personality unlike that sack of shit Kareem.
Wooooo!!!! Free golf! Let’s go Day!
PINOY POWER!
Stupid DirectTV. Who knew there was such a thing as moisture in the air and they should definitely plan and engineer a solution to such a thing when developing a satellite based broadcasting system?
THANK YOU!!!!
SiriusXM needs to learn to outsmart leaves too.
Oh wait, I have YouTube TV. Screw you DirectTV and Xfinity!
For you denizens of LA, I’m probably going to take yeahright’s advice and have dinner at Father’s Office in Culver tonight. Happy to buy a beer or two if anyone’s around and bored.
That’s a great place. Site of the VERY first DFO meet up, IIRC.
So, if one were to accidentally stumble onto a site where it shows the Royal Rumble for free, where would one go?
I don’t know but you better hurry. They’re airing the Men’s rumble now.
What? Didn’t the event start an hour ago?
Not my cup of tea, but…
https://www.reddit.com/r/WWEstreams/
Is it just me or is James Corden kind of annoying? On a related note, imagine if Craig ever hosted the Grammys?
I do no understand the appeal of Corden. He’s utterly inane.
Craig Ferguson might be the only way you’d get me to watch the Grammys.
He had a band! With Peter Capaldi on vocals!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHXCzC2wGlo
Just watched the opening of the Grammys…I am now officially old because I didn’t understand what I just saw.
Another year has come and gone… and I haven’t won a Grammy for Best Classical Album or Performance.
What about an AVN award for Best Soundtrack For Gonzo Sex?
Jesus, these NHL All-Star uniforms are certainly something.
Holes in the wrists?
Philly crowd is rabid. Looking forward to them ruining this show if a single person fucks up a single thing tonight.
Holy shit a penalty in the hockey games!
Holy shit. UConn ML is at +230.
Dammit….I kinda gotta.
Do you, though?
Yup. It’s Temple, FFS.
Just trynna decide how much. Gonna have dinner and ponder the matter further.
I don’t know what that means, but if you’re betting on UCONN I’d take the under on whenever they’re going to get hit with recruiting violations.
It basically means that UConn is the underdog, thus betting $100 on them wins $230 if they win outright. Which against Temple, even on the road, I think those are pretty good odds.
I wish you had talked to me before making this bet.
I found a Bond movie so I didn’t see Kid Rock!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io-jchlnvJM
Kid Rock? Moar like Grandpa Adult-Alternative, amirite?
Kid Rock, let’s see what else is on.
/Changes the channel, sees Tom Brady on the screen
Fine, Kid Rock it is.
Get this:
Rid Kock.
Kid Rock? Muuuuuuute
Brayden Holtby is a failure in all things
I dunno. I think he’s pretty successful in never making the 3rd round.
That was funny.
But you still suck.
😛
Sharkbait became WCS so gradually, I hardly noticed.
😛
Fuck the Pens?
Now you’re talking.
Replay review overturning a call in an All-Star Game, DRIIIIINK!
Holtby already has been drankin’ apparently.
All a ploy for Wes McCauley to get in on the action.
Just don’t get hurt Lundqvist….
Are you sure about this? Checking my notes here, and they say that would be a good thing.
Brad Marchand shouldn’t be able to play in this game.
Isn’t the suspension still going on?
Yes it is.
Agreed. If the league feels that a guy who delivers The People’s Elbow to a guy’s brain blindside is an appropriate representation of their brand, then fuck ’em. Then again, they also booked Kid Rock to play the second intermission, so what the fuck do I know?
So that’s why they brought out those fuckheads to start the show. Kid Rock is a significant improvement over that cacophony of awful.
“Agreed. Mr. Marchand is hereby banished from the Pro Bowl!”
-Roger Goodell
I will appreciate the Tampa faithful if Marchand scores a goal to tie it or take the lead and a la JD Drew in 2008 they briefly cheer and then chant “You still suck!”
THIS PRO BOWL I CALL IT JUNIOR PROM BECAUSE NOBODY’S AS EXCITED AS THE ORGANIZERS WANT AND YOU CAN’T REALLY HIT THAT
Mark Sanchez would like to unsubscribe from your newsletter.
I just went down a youtube hole instead of watching these games. Tuned in for 5 minutes to both games and they are not good.
Purdue @ Indiana here.
Good damn game, btw. Plus a certain Hippo like creature couldn’t help but put dough on it so I’m there in spirit for him.
“You’re the best defensive end in the NFL. If you could not hit anyone in this game that celebrates your talent, that’d be great.”
Are you telling me they drive Lexuses (Lexii?) in Wakanda, commercial? I call bullshit.
They’d never stoop to driving THEM JAP CARS in Wakanda,, ppl forget this,,
Apropos of nothing, but I’ve never been a proponent of beating children. My niece however, is testing that attitude today. Actually, she has been this whole weekend.
Just buy this for her. She’ll get the message.
Those white pants on the white uniforms for the Pacific is an unfortunate look
The 1974 Washington Capitals called; they want their pants back.
Why would you go empty net playing 3 on 3 with a minute and change left?
They should be allowed two extra skaters.
“Jack Doyle is in the Pro Bowl? No Fucking Way!”
-Jack Doyle’s Mom
At this rate we might see 5 goals in this game!
“Why you gotta look like that?”
/Because I wasn’t raised in a trailer park?
McDavid can’t score on all those chances on Pekka Rinne? He’s a bust. Edmonton needs to trade him.
Preferably to *insert team that Commentist roots for here*!
Soon.
Jesus Christ. The Royal Rumble preshow starts at 5 pm. Why is the Rumble 6 hours long now?
Men’s and Women’s Royal Rumble
Universal Title
WWE Title
Raw Tag Team Tile
Smackdown Tag Team Title
US Title
Cruiserweight match.
Barely leaves time for the 40 KFC cross-promotions
Brady wearing a TB hat for Tampa Bay. Huge probowl fan.
Good on Brady Quinn!
By extension that the Browns are in the AFC would this count as another loss for them this season?