Your “Losing Money I Never Had & Wasn’t Mine SUCKS!” Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

• In a rare bit of Cardinals good news, Larry Fitzgerald is going to take time & decide on coming back.
  • If he does come back & play under Kliff Kingsbury, it’ll be Fitty’s 16th season & delay his Hall of Fame induction until 2024.

• Jim Caldwell is going to join the Dolphins staff under Brian Flores.
  • He will become a “senior advisor” on offense.
    • Likely to be paired with a younger hire for him to “mentor”.

• In fresh “Fuck you” mode, Gary Kubiak is interviewing for the Jaguars Offensive Coordinator position.
  • Likely spelling the end of Blake Bortles in Jacksonville.

• Speaking of “fuck you” tones, Jerry Rice is doubling down on the AB wants to go to the Niners rhetoric.
  • The Steelers would have to take a $21.12 million cap hit, but a trade would remove Brown’s $22.165 million salary from their books.
    • The Niners have nearly $70 million in cap space for 2019.

Finally, Matt Nagy was “not happy” with Cody Parkey’s appearance on the Today Show today.

• They wanted to talk to him about the double-doink, and he gave his reactions & sentiments.
• Nagy was upset because, “We win as a team and we lose as a team. I didn’t necessarily think it was a ‘we’ thing.”
  • GM Ryan Pace followed that with this gem about the kicking position: “We’ve just got to evaluate that [position] now. That position is an emphasis for us. We understand that we need to get better.”
    • “Our goal, of course, is to hit on every draft pick and every UFA. But that’s just not reality.”
• If the Bears cut Parkey before June 1, Chicago would carry a dead cap number of $5.1 million, per Over The Cap. If they did so after June 1, that number drops to just a little over $4 million. Either way, that’s a lot of space to eat up just to change kickers.

My brother has a friend who is known as the “Porn Baron”, because he lives in Vegas & represents adult film companies. In Week 15, he put $600 down on the Eagles, and for the last few weeks he’s let the bet ride. Here’s what yesterday looked like:

Thanks to Alshon Jeffrey,

I don’t get to spend Super Bowl in Vegas at the condo of a guy nicknamed the Porn Baron.

Tonight’s sports:

• NHL: the Habs, Leafs & Oilers are all regional broadcasts in Canada
  • Blues at Capitals – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • Canadiens at Bruins – 7:30PM | NBCSN
• NBA:
  • Hornets at Spurs – 8:30PM | Sportsnet1 / NBATV
• NCAA:
  • Syracuse at Duke – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
  • Baylor at Oklahoma State – 9:00PM | ESPNU
  • Texas at Kansas – 9:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
• WWE:
  • RAW – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
• Australian Open:
  • Day 2: First Round – 9:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN

Reminder: [DFO] Hate Week will return for Week 2 of the buildup to “The Big Game”.™^®© So whichever teams make it, I will be requesting your vitriol for those dates. MAKE ME LOVE IT!