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Your “Yep – The Darkest Timeline” Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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Happy MLK Day to all the Commentists.

NFL News:

  • The NFL announced the 2019 International Games:
    • Kansas City Chiefs at Los Angeles Chargers in Mexico City
    • Carolina Panthers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers in London
      • Tampa was included this year because – as previously reported – the prize for giving up a home date is a Super Bowl hosting opportunity.
    • Chicago Bears at Oakland Raiders in London
    • Cincinnati Bengals at Los Angeles Rams in London
    • Houston Texans at Jacksonville Jaguars in London
  • Todd Gurley says he played “sorry”, and that’s why he spent most of the second half on the sidelines.
    • Not sure if he means “sorry” bad or “sorry” kinda hurt. Either way, Raiders cast-off CJ Anderson helped get the Rams to The Big Game™®©

  • Desperation breeds fantasy: Saints fans are clamouring for Roger Goodell to use an obscure rulebook power to overturn the Rams victory.
    • Rule 17 Section 2 Article 3 says the Commissioner has powers that include “the reversal of a game’s result or the rescheduling of a game, either from the beginning or from the point at which the extraordinary act occurred.”
    • Fun fact for Saints fans: Stan Kroenke is hosting Super Bowl LV, whereas the Bensons haven’t figured out which branch of the family (ex-wife division) controls the Saints franchise. Aside from the fact that that shit ain’t happening, that shit ain’t happening.

[DFO] site news:

Next Monday will bring back the popular Open Thread feature, “[DFO] Hate Week”.

Picking up on BFC’s comment from Hippo’s Thoughts, if we root for the Patriots to bookend Brady’s first & last Super Bowls, he might retire. That would precipitate the Pats swift downfall – something I think most people would finally enjoy. Of course, such talk indicates further proof of the Darkest Timeline, and I don’t think I’m prepared for that.

Yet.

If you have particular hate you want to contribute, send your aggravation to beerguyrob (at) gmail (dot) com.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Sharks at Panthers – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Rockets at 76ers – 8:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
    • Heat at Jazz – 9:00PM | TSN2
    • Warriors at Lakers – 10:30PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
  • NCAA:
    • Maryland at Michigan State – 6:30PM | FS1
    • Virginia Tech at *North Carolina – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Creighton at Georgetown – 8:30PM | FS1
    • Baylor at West By-God Virginia – 9:00PM | ESPNU
    • Iowa State at Kansas – 9:00PM | ESPN / TSN
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • the “go-home” show before Royal Rumble this Sunday from Chase Field in Phoenix.

I hope you all enjoyed your three-day weekend. THE GAMES RUINED THE FOOTBALL!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Holy balls, I’m exhausted.

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Unsurprised

I don’t think this was posted before. If it was, I forgot. Anyway, there’s a Simpsons analog for everyone around Trump.

https://twitter.com/Alessandro_King/status/1037705912172142593

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Unsurprised

It’s easier to read this way: https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1037705912172142593.html

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Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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Wakezilla

When are the refs announced for the Owl?

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Right after the League disassembles the current ones and redesigns their optical sensors.

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Unsurprised

Dude. I hate everything.

However, I will probably be in Los Angeles early next month. So I don’t hate everything equally.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Aw man. I knew I shoulda planned to go to LA instead of Baltimore.

I wouldn’t be about to freeze my ass off for a month, and I’d finally get to meet Unsurprised.

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Unsurprised

You would only be disappointed.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Nah.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

#12 for Iowa State seriously looks like he might have severed heads in his freezer.

Worse yet, he sucks at free throws.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’ve been to Iowa. There ain’t much else to do there.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Thanks for nothing, Virginia Tech!!! Way to go Sparty!!!

Stop fucking up, Iowa State!!!
(they’re not gonna, KU about to pull away)

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Mr. Ayo

They stopped fucking up!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Let’s hope.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Nope. That pass to the corner to the referee wasn’t good.

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Mr. Ayo

Yeah, nevermind. Cornfuckers gonna cornfuckup.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

if you watch the full video you can clearly see one of the covington kids having a black friend

— raandy (@randygdub) January 22, 2019

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

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rockingdog

found a funny:

Whoa, Tom Brady (bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, Tom Brady (bam-ba-lam)
Tom Brady always scores
(bam-ba-lam)
And he hates the poors
(bam-ba-lam)

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Read somewhere today that the Packers are now the only team to not have played in London or Mexico. They didn’t want to give up a home game and then on the road, it’s a popular team to see, so those games sell well. Aka too much money to be made on them.

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Beerguyrob

There’s no incentive for them to play along. They’ll certainly never give up a home date.

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Unsurprised

And it’ll never host a Super Bowl anyway.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Packers do not have passports.

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WCS

TRUE WCS PROTIP: Acid reflex disease sucks horse dicks for money. Guh.

Howdy.

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Fronkenshteen

Raise the head of your bed, sleep on your side, with your left shoulder on the mattress, and take Prilosec.

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WCS

I’ve done all of those for 15 years. Somedays it just flares up, usually because of something I ate. In this case, the late night pepperoni roll was a terrible, stoopid, moronic, you-deserve-this-you-dipshit mistake.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I threw up a pizza I split with a friend on Friday night. I turn 30 next month. What the fuck happened?

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Gratliff

The day you turn 25, your body begins the process of actively trying to murder you. Some are better at it than others.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Stupid sexy body…

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Senor Weaselo

“Damn straight!” -Senor’s late gallbladder

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WCS

You were too drunk, it was shitty pizza, or a combo of both?

GERD has never made me throw up, it causes constant, very annoying heartburn for all of your waking hours.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I got a cheap breathalyzer for Xmas (thanks Parental Commanders!) and I was at roughly 0.06%, so it wasn’t that. I’ve always had a very mild stomach issue with dairy, and I’m pretty sure the large quantities of cheese are what got me, but that never used to happen.

By the way, they got the breathalyzer at Costco, and I believe it was $40-60, If anything, it’s taught me that I can drink A LOT more than I thought I could and still legally drive.

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WCS

DRINKS ON LOW COMMANDER

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Fun fact: I woke up with a good sized hangover a couple weeks ago and blew a 0.04% that morning.

“Well, that explains it.”

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Why am I laughing at the thought of LCSS waking up and blowing a .04 (phrasing) and then saying “fuck it” , I’ll have a shower beer….?

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WCS

Because it was a shower whiskey.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Best hangover cure is a cold drink and a hot shower. It’s important not to confuse those two things.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Need to suck more cock for ten bucks out behind the Arby’s dumpster; works for me.

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Fronkenshteen

Maybe all this MAGA shit is getting to me too much, but 24 hours later, I STILL feel as though I watched the rich, through criminal officiating, choose the Supe THEY wanted. Can’t shake it.

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Unsurprised

You too? Shit.

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Gratliff

Wildly swinging topics, sometimes I think indie wrestling exists primarily to see how many pop culture references promoters can come up with for posters.
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Wakezilla

Holy shit do I miss Lucha Underground. I only made it to season 2 cause Netflix never added more seasons, which is bullshit

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Gratliff

The co-opting is in full swing. Of course, I think his best quote is one you’ll never see used by a shameless enforcement arm of the executive branch.

We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. Frankly, I have yet to engage in a direct action campaign that was “well timed” in the view of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation. For years now I have heard the word “Wait!” It rings in the ear of every Negro with piercing familiarity. This “Wait” has almost always meant “Never.” We must come to see, with one of our distinguished jurists, that “justice too long delayed is justice denied.”

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Man that quote is as true today as it ever was.

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Unsurprised

It is evergreen. Change a couple words and it’s universal.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It makes people feel squirmy to read because it includes the word “Negro”.

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Senor Weaselo

Occasionally the cocoa concoction actually works, and everything is okay with the world.

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Redshirt

If a couple feels like they need to go to Temptation Island in order to “test your relationship”, they should just shake hands and part as friends.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I remember seeing one couple actually go on that show and they both stayed faithful. They got very little screen time because they clearly were just running out the clock until they could leave and I assume collect some kind of paycheck?

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Dunstan

Never watched any version of it, but I always assumed that they cast the most fame-hungry aspiring actor/models they could. People who are willing to “play ball” to earn their screentime, either by faking how serious their “relationship” ever was, or faking how tempted they are.

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ballsofsteelandfury

In season 1, all four couples stayed together. It was total bullshit.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Isn’t that every show on TV?

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ballsofsteelandfury

Read my post tomorrow!!

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Wakezilla

The Australian one was better because they showed uncensored boobs. Not everyone stayed together and one guy that broke up with his g/f, he ended up with a temptress and those two became a famous couple for a while

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’d prefer a weird half-assed slap fight advantage to the lesser in size, then a call to a friend (who doesn’t want to hear it) to bitch about the outcome.

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Senor Weaselo

Have we poured one out for Melo and his hoodie?

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Ian Scott McCormick

My dad told me he’d heard a rumor that the Nets were thinking of adding him, and I told him to go fuck himself.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Goddamnit. Only two full days of perfect weather after KILLSTORM ’19 and now it’s gone and gotten windy.

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Redshirt

I get sunny 40s and then back down to teens. Enough time to melt the snow and quickly refreeze it before it has a chance to drain from our yards.

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Redshirt

https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/lifestyle-buzz/how-do-you-draw-an-x-the-internet-is-confused/ar-BBSx4RU?ocid=spartandhp

The Internet is trying to divide us all again. Besides the right answer is #5.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Correct.

I could go for some of that 5 X Whiskey right about now too.
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Senor Weaselo

I do number 8 but in fairness I am left-handed.

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Beerguyrob

I’m surprised they’re talking about “colored lines” on MLK Day.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

slash then backslash

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Which makes me a number 8. Anything other than 7 or 8 is nothing more than the slack-jawed scribbling of an illiterate savage.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Although I could see an argument being made that those who do 5 are on par with the higher-functioning great apes, in that it wastes the least motion because you start at the lower left (where your pen would most naturally be after finishing the previous letter) and ends at the lower right (primed to once again start the next letter).

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Redshirt

Apology accepted. (picks tick from hair and eats it)

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Redshirt

Hey! If you want to tire your hand out having to go down-up-down instead of going down-up, be my guest!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, my hand gets plenty of practice at the ol’ down-up, down-up thank you very much. You best look out lest I sick my droogs on you.

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Wakezilla

The army trying to co-opt and rebrand MLK into a marine-loving woke patriot wins today’s disturbing MLK revisionist history. The CIA didn’t bring their A game this year.

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Beerguyrob

FSU tried to get him on board with denigrating another race:
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Unsurprised

The Seminoles license their name to FSU. I knew a guy in college whose father was one of bigger chiefs. They’ve embraced the fuck out of capitalism because he drove a Porsche around downtown D.C. like he was a Saudi prince.

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Senor Weaselo

Hey, if you believe the theory they brought it on the day that mattered.

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Unsurprised

Remember the FBI’s tribute last year?

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Unsurprised

The CIA didn’t bring their A game this year.

They got the response they wanted regardless.
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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

So the Chargers lose another “home” game to have to go and play in Mexico? Well, it at least gives me hope that a Spanos could end up with Montezuma’s Revenge, which while meaning something very different to BOLTMAN, ultimately has the same outcome of one’s organs being removed through an orifice.

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Beerguyrob

While alive, if possible.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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Wakezilla

Mexico City Chargers: Coming to the NFL in 2024

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ballsofsteelandfury

This definitely COULD happen given that the Jaguars are a lock for London.

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Senor Weaselo

Low Commander, would that be palatiable?

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

More so than LA, but it’s still not home. There may have been a shred of hope that I followed them if they moved anywhere else, but that’s a moot point now.

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