“Is the World Off?” Saturday Open Thread

We end a week dominated by Gamestop and stonks, and my guess is there’s no trading on Saturdays because NOTHING is happening. I dunno,

??Personal Musings Alert??

when it comes to money, I’m neither a gambler nor speculator. Working for a living is fine enough for me, and there is nothing sweeter than getting paid after two weeks of texting culminate in a phone call and—hey, I was in the area looking for a new tire for my wheelbarrow and since I’m already nearby, maybe I can pick up the check and save you the stamp, huh? HUH!

Other side:

Maybe what I really need is a flunky. Yeah… Someone who will select a special gift for a loved one, knows the way around the printer ink black market, and can find at least three abandoned shipping containers within any 10-mile radius. That would free up my time for doing what I really love: making the “Blah blah blah” hand gesture on my side of work calls. Remember: it’s not work, if you do what you love.

NFL NEWS

 It feels like the offseason is already here, criminy. Nothing worth linking, it’s mostly musings by talking heads about the Draft plus yesterday’s items (Loins hire Dom Capers for DC, Green Bay lets Mike Pettine go, Power RankingzZZZ).

Of some substance:

-Lions “expected to trade Stafford before the Super Bowl”. Nefariousness.com has the item, which includes ZERO team names except for the Loins.

-Stand back, you don’t wanna get too close to this sizzlin’ item: JJ Watt wants “clarity” with Texans before his contract ends, which is next year. The clarity no one asked for: JJ, you’re an All-Timer, as to grating personality. Unless you’re on a Titans uniform, I don’t wanna see ya—and never hear, in any scenario. Otherwise, best of luck.

-The Texans say they want Watson.

The person, not so much. Seemingly.

Watson already took down all his pics in Texans shwag from his social media stuff, which is how personalities express determination. Deshaun, of course, is under contract—but there has not been any clamoUr for him to honoUr it. Houston brass are the only folks insisting, and any “Honor our agreement” virtue-signaling by NFL management admits only one retort:

New head coach David Sculley already said he took the job expecting Watson to be the QB. As such, I already started doing my meditations by lighting a Josh McDaniels Reneging Candle.

There are only two ways you keep the at-worst second-best player in your franchise’s history: a “Sorry sorry SORRY—I CAN CHANGE LISTEN TO ME” charm offensive, or out of pure spite. But, to be clear: nobody wins if Deshaun stays in Houston.

But enough about imaginary entities.

Tonight on Sprots

NBA

Blazers @ Bulls – 7:00 PM

Bucks @ Hornets – 7:00 PM

Rockets @ Pelicans – 7:00 PM

Kings @ Heat – 7:00 PM

Lakers @ Celtics – 7:30 PM (ABC)

Grizzlies @ Spurs – 7:30 PM

Suns @ Mavs – 8:00 PM

Pistons @ Warriors – 9:00 PM

 

Indentured Roundball

Everybody plays. Some of the televised stuff:

#1 Gonzaga @ Pepperdine – 7:00 PM (ESPN)

#17 Creighton @ DePaul – 7:00 PM (CBSSN)

Stanford @ Arizona State – 7:00 PM (ESPN2)

Belmont @ Murray St. – 7:30 PM (ESPN+)

UT San Antonio @ UTEP – 8:00 PM (ESPN+)

New Mexico St.  Grand Canyon – 8:00 PM (ESPN+)

CSU Derby: Fullerton @ Bakersfield – 9:00 PM (ESPN3)

 NHL

Penguins @ Rangers – 6:00 PM

Islanders @ Flyera – 6:00 PM (ESPN+)

Bruins @ Capitals – 6:00 PM (ESPN+)

Stars @ ‘Canes – 6:00 PM

Pres @ Lightning – 6:00 PM

Panthers @ Red Wings – 6:00 PM

Flames @ Canadiens – 6:00 PM

Leafs @ Oilers – 6:00 PM

Avalanche @ Wild – 7:00 PM

Blues @ Quacks– 8:00 PM

Canucks @ Jets – 9:00 PM

 FútbolSecsy Mexi

FC Juárez @ Guadalajara – 7:00 PM

Querétaro @ Cruz Azu – 9:00 PM (ESPN Deportes)

Toluca @ Tijuana – 9:06 PM precisely

As to other entertainment, I suggest you check out “Disenchantment” on Netflix.

I think “Disenchantment” is dynamite, with passive aggression comparable only to “Schitt’$ Creek”, which is saying something. The dismissive reviews compare it, badly, to Futurama. Why not judge both in their own terms? But the Interwebz Monster demands a hook for media types to hang their know-it-all caps. For me, it’s a lazy judgment.

Obviously, the humor is similar, duh. I’m gonna leave it at that because I don’t wanna risk an asthma attack rummaging through the closet to get my old “Life in Hell” books. Most of all, I’m not gonna apologize for enjoying waaaay too much comedy bits on: smothering mothers, PTSD, gender fluidity, psycho dates, trap doors, distant parents, pervs, tyranny, an elf whose rebelliousness means he’s not THAT lame, and Eric FUCKING Andre impersonating a wee demon. Plus history’s best beheading pun, and a deep exploration on how true love manifests itself.

Saturday night woooo!

5 2 votes
Article Rating
Don T
Poor choices, mixed results. ¡Viva Puerto Rico Libre! Titans4Eva
Subscribe
Notify of
95 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
BrettFavresColonoscopy

My scotch glass is empty. Come fix it.

Brick Meathook

There’s nothing like spending a Saturday night in self-quarantine, baking banana bread and watching old episodes of The Rat Patrol.

Last edited 3 years ago by Brick Meathook
Gumbygirl

The Killers was killer! I am verra tired, so goodnight sweet princes, see ya tomorrow

yeah right

Got a film recommendation. The One I Love on Netflix or Amazon or I don’t remember but it’s really good. Elizabeth Moss from Mad Men and the Duplass Brothers. Give it a go. I’m not going to stear you a Hallmark Christmas movie, that’s Scotchy’s job.
No offense.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I just watched about 8 minutes of Richmond-Brisbane and Richmond suuuuucks

ballsofsteelandfury

They were playing much better in the first half. But yeah, they’re not good.

Brick Meathook

On the MOVIES digital broadcast channel is a “Thin Man” festival, showing all three films. After The Thin Man, the second film is currently on now (Pacific Time).

If you watched these films and took a shot every time someone has a drink in the movie you would die before the third film started.

Gumbygirl

I love those! TCM has something that sounds cool in twenty minutes, with Lee Marvin and Clu Galager. I think it’s called The Killers?

Brick Meathook

THE KILLERS IS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s Ronald Reagan’s last film, and the one where he punches Angie Dickinson!

Brick Meathook

comment image

Gumbygirl

Ok, I’m watching. Bad boy Ronnie, woohoo!

Viva La Tabula Raza

He was practicing for dealing with the Air Traffic Controllers union.

Doktor Zymm

I picked up some Georgian food today, katchapuri is the best bread and cheese food in the world, better even than the best pizza. I also like all the yummy things they do with walnuts.

King Hippo

/Stalin nods appreciatively
//Really happy that you tasted it first.

Horatio Cornblower

So just got done watching the movie ‘White Boy Rick’, (pretty good), and came on to find that the Lions traded Matt Stafford for pretty much the Rams’ future.

Absolutely cannot wait for the Lions to find a way to fuck this up.

Brocky

they’re the fucking lions. they don’t even have expectations and they still don’t reach them.

Brick Meathook

The history of the Ford Family is almost Shakespearean in its successes and failures, which includes the Model-T, the B-24 bomber, the Edsel, and the Detroit Lions

Fronkenshteen

Latest batch of dope butter is simmering on the front burner.

Redshirt

Trump impeachment defense: Five attorneys leave team less than two weeks before trial – CNNPolitics

We may be one step closer to Trump defending himself before the Senate.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If only that mattered for the 2/3 of Republican elected officials without spines or balls

Horatio Cornblower

This. Trump could take the stand and take a giant shit on the floor and all we’d hear from the GOP Senators is that Trump isn’t beholden to the norms of political behavior, and that’s why he’s a true leader.

King Hippo

all we can do is make the shitweasels own it

/and Diamond Joe continues his NOT FUCKING AROUND (he’s been excellent so far)

Gumbygirl

But it would make hilarious tv, so I’m kind of all in!

Fronkenshteen

Most abused child in American TV lore? The infant in Breaking Bad.

Viva La Tabula Raza

There’s an ad for Sheba cat food where a lady with a cat at her shoulder is informed by her child (off-camera) that she has fallen. Mom says “Get a bandage,” kid replies “I’m bleeding,” mom says “Get two” and then she feeds her cat. Child Protective Services needs to pay a visit to that fucking bitch.

Dunstan

I love that ad. To hell with the kid, he’s fine, the little whiner. I’d stay with the cat and my book, too.

Also, she’s kind of MILFy.

Brocky

the ad is funny because its making fun of other ads that’s over dramatize the common perils of children. the meta makes it better

King Hippo

YES. Kids and their damn whining about an itsy-bitsy cut, etc.

Redshirt

Don’t forget about Bud and Kelly from “Married… with Children”. The latter had to whore herself out just to get food.

And somehow that was funny.

ballsofsteelandfury

The Roos DESTROYED the Cats.

It was ugly. Watching Richmond-Brisbane now on Chromebook with Liga MX on two TVs

litre_cola

TJ and Blue Cruise!

Redshirt

So this is coming to Ohio.

9927176F-3695-4163-9341-CB0F04C93ECA.jpeg
ArmedandHammered

Ooh, a snow dragon!

Brocky

there’s a game of thrones joke in there somewhere, but that last season was so fucking bad it deserves no humor

Horatio Cornblower

The first two episodes were actually really good, but no one remembers because the next 5, (or 6? really doesn’t matter), were bad to the point that they were forgetting to take the Starbucks cups out of shots and then saying “eh, fuck it” in editing.
comment image?w=640

Brocky

true. I’m also in the “first two episodes weren’t that bad.” camp

Horatio Cornblower

That scene where Jamie knights Brienne is an all-timer.

And then (waves vaguely at the rest of the season) all of that happened.

Fronkenshteen

Not enough. You voted Trump in 2020. There is no rectifying that.

Redshirt

While I can’t speak for Ohio’s Northern rural counties that are being consumed by the demon, per Mark Twain, the southwest rural counties probably thought they were voting for Mitt Romney.
comment image

Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt
Horatio Cornblower

And that’s a shot coming from a guy who had a mansion in Hartford, CT.

Brocky

i have relatives who lived in Cincinnati.

they chose to move back to god forsaken Indiana because of how little they grew to care for the area

Brick Meathook

There’s a lot of money in Cincinnati.

Brocky

i mean, that’s why my uncle transferred there.

spent the minimum amount of time necessary for my cousins to start and finish high school and then reach retirement, then he and my aunt skedaddled back to their ancestral homeland

SonOfSpam

Anthony Davis just took an elbow to the balls and I’m in some kind of Corsican Twins pain.

SonOfSpam

MEGATRON COMES OUT OF RETIREMENT would be neat but it’s not happening but still how fun would that be

Brocky

Stafford leaving Detroit is truly the end of an era. An era that included zero playoff wins and never getting past the wild card round, but an era all the same.

Sharkbait

Well that was unexpected

Sharkbait

I thought Thanksgiving was a mandate for drinking in and of itself

LemonJello

Ol “Turn Your Head and” Goff better start packing on the pounds like Fatt Sackford if he hopes to survive behind the Detroit O-Line.

ballsofsteelandfury

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

SonOfSpam

As a Rams fan…hooray. Which is so so sad.

Doktor Zymm

A very special episode of Trading Places!

Mr. Ayo

Incredible how much it cost the Rams to acquire and then get rid of Baby Buster.

King Hippo

When you are in a hole, just keep digging until you reach China.

Redshirt

If Stafford is worth that much, what is Watson gonna get?!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Lady Commander: What are you ‘Shopping?

Low Commander: Well, next week is the week before the Super Bowl. For the last 4 years, we talk about how much we hate all the teams playing in it. We call it Hate Week and–

Lady Commander: Wow, this sounds EXACTLY like something you would do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqOJuUsFM7I

ballsofsteelandfury

You’re gonna marry that girl…

litre_cola

Can’t wait for the reception, all DFO welcome.

SonOfSpam

We can all crash in the honeymoon suite.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’m going to have to take the open bar off the table…

SonOfSpam

Yeah, prolly safer to put it on the floor.

SonOfSpam

Seeing a new HEB on the block is always emotional.

Viva La Tabula Raza

They converted my local HEB to an HEB Plus a few years back and it was a happy day.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

A buddy of mine just sent me a video of his own dog with the Sarah Mclachlan song playing in the back room and zoomed in on his sad face.

This pandemic is ruining us all.

litre_cola

“A Covid-19 vaccination centre at the Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles was forced to close for an hour on Saturday after protests by anti-vaccine and far-right groups.”

I am already tired of 2021. I mean, really?

SonOfSpam

Yes, even in Karl Marx paradise Commiefornia, there are plenty of assholes to bother those of us who just want to farm potatoes and share the land.

Doktor Zymm

Perhaps we should put our potatoes into some sort of “potato cannon”?

SonOfSpam

“Potato Canon” is the most sacred book in Ireland.

litre_cola

I thought it was Seamus O’Regan, the hurling Rex Grossman of Galway.

SonOfSpam

That’s who Ronnie thought he was most of his 2nd term.

SonOfSpam

In an interesting coincidence, Fingerling Vulgate is actually Tomi Lahren’s birth name.

Horatio Cornblower

Gonna write this down for next year’s FF team name.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Doktor Zymm

I still don’t understand why we don’t just send all the antivaxxers to their own little plague island in the middle of the ocean to see how Lord of Flies plays out with ignorant assholes instead of British schoolboys. We could lure them there with some sort of antivaxx music festival then pull up anchor and observe the action from a safe distance using 5g.

SonOfSpam

We could give them Puerto Rico and give the Puerto Ricans southern Florida.

Last edited 3 years ago by SonOfSpam
Dunstan

You mean the LAPD didn’t just beat the shit out of them and arrest… oh, wait, never mind, I know why.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I just made myself a dirty martini.

I should stick to Manhattans.

Gumbygirl

I like to think of them as vodka marinated olives.

Doktor Zymm

I watched an episode of Disenchantment at the dentist once. I enjoyed it, but I don’t have Netflix so never ended up watching more.

Dunstan

I watched the first two episodes when it came out, and didn’t care for it, but perhaps I should give it another chance.

Horatio Cornblower

Related to Don T’s work recollections, I was on a call with another attorney, at home due to the plague, and I hung up with a disgusted sigh and some choice words and my son, who is sitting in my “office” playing video games, (NAWT a conicidence), says: “I wonder if there’s another attorney’s son whose gaming is interrupted by his Dad hanging up the phone and saying ‘Christ, what an asshole’ ten times a day.”

ArmedandHammered

I showed this to my wife who is also an attorney and she said yes, without a doubt there are. I must admit when she says the phrase, she adds fucking as an adjective for asshole, usually disturbing me reading a book.

litre_cola

Was having a heater of a day, Hail Gamblor! Juarez just slammed the SecsiMexi door. Well Blue Cruise hopefully rolls.

Senor Weaselo

He also took his passport, ppl forget that.

Last edited 3 years ago by Senor Weaselo
ArmedandHammered

I think it would be a deal breaker for Buddy.