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The Saturday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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In one week, we begin the start of “Futbol Summer”.

I know you’ve been inundated with a lot of posts about countries you may never have visited. Or have wanted to visit. Even, possibly, been barred from returning to. Disirregardless,

even though there are still a few more previews to come for the Euros & the Copa, please have a look back through some of the posts in order to better prepare yourself for the onslaught of Lesser Footy goodness that awaits us in just a few short days. Because everyone who writes for the site has different ideas about how to label their work, I have gone through all of the posts & added (in some cases) the category “futbol” to them so each of the previews can now be more easily found under this one designation. (And, again, FUCK Block Editor!)

We hope you’ve enjoyed reading them as much as we have enjoyed going back down memory lane to drag out from our subconscious little nuggets of data to help give you an idea of our life experiences. In a few cases, it will likely also keep you from visiting there. But losing a few hundered tourist dollars is the price Putin has to pay for sending his bot army to attack our site.

It’s more than Trump ever did.

“Please to remember tape of urine I have in possession.”

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Bruins at Islanders – 7:00pm | NBC / CBC / Sportsnet
      • Game 4 – Bruins lead 2-1
  • NBA:
    • Bucks at Nets – 7:00pm | TNT / TSN4
      • Round 2, Game 1
  • MLB:
    • Red Sox vs. Yankees – 7:00pm | FOX / TSN2
    • Cubs-Giants or Dodgers-Braves – 7:00pm | FOX
  • Fisticuffs:
    • UFC Fight Night: Rozenstruik vs. Sakai
      • Prelims – 5:00pm | ESPN+ / TSN2
      • Main card – 7:00pm | ESPN+ / TSN5
  • AFL: (I can’t tell what’s live – fucking Tv schedules)
    • Carlton vs. West Coast – 1:00am | TSN2
    • Fremantle vs. Western Bulldogs – 7:30am | FS1

Looks like a good night for commentin’.

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Fronkenshteen

This is the man Republicans are so deathly afraid of of. Here he is, clearly diapered, and with his pants on backwards. All hail king donald!
<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>Others are noting this, but it can’t be shared enough: Donald Trump gave his big speech today with his pants on backwards. Look close and tell me I’m wrong.<a href=”https://t.co/sRsoJVfyf8″>pic.twitter.com/sRsoJVfyf8</a></p>&mdash; Brandon Friedman (@BFriedmanDC) <a href=”https://twitter.com/BFriedmanDC/status/1401406435121106947?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>June 6, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></scr

Last edited 4 years ago by Fronkenshteen
1
Dunstan

“constant as a northern star” is a line in at least two songs from the 70s: “A Case of You” by Joni Mitchell, and “Right Down the Line” by Gerry Rafferty. Are there others?

1
Beerguyrob

Well, it’s from “Julius Caesar”, so there has to be, somewhere in time.

Google did find me a Prince cover from a Joni tribute album.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lJ0f75oSL4

2
Dunstan

Gentlemen.

And others.

2
Beerguyrob

That’d be me.

2
Dunstan

I like to be inclusive.

Your post last night inspired me. I’m trying to kill off my own bottle of Kilchoman (the Machir Bay)

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I love that stuff. 100% Islay is still my favorite but the Machir Bay keeps its place in the cabinet.

1
Dunstan

Oh, sorry, was that you? I may have gotten my B-names mixed up…

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah I’m the non-hobo murdering scotch enthusiast

1
Beerguyrob

Happy to help.

0
TheRevanchist

Lifetime has a TV movie called Soccer Mom Madam. It’s got soccer. It’s got moms. It’s got hookers. Could it be that bad?

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

What, no cocaine? Pffft.

1
Don T

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1
Horatio Cornblower

Holy shit. Also very much NSFW. Especially if you work in a bar.

https://twitter.com/jasongillearn/status/1401221666584227848

3
Doktor Zymm

Florida?

1
Horatio Cornblower

I didn’t think to check. It’s apparently an Outback Steakhouse. I mean, I know their schtick is corny, but this seems extreme.

0
Doktor Zymm

LOL, apparently it actually is Florida! Way to live up to your stereotype lady!
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9655177/Naked-Florida-woman-tasered-police-trashing-restaurant.html

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I know it’s blurred out but she looks great for 53

2
Horatio Cornblower

One of the benefits of owning an older, smaller house is that it’s well-built and generally easy to maintain. One of the main drawbacks is no central AC. Today and the next three days are all going to be humid and over 90, so today is that annual day of misery where I haul out all the individual bedroom ACs, take out the storm windows, and install them individually, as well as the one larger unit, (which is absolutely going to be the death of me someday), while sweating Todd Marinovich in his probation officer’s office while waiting for the urine to come back.

I am currently celebrating with banana chocolate chip ice cream.

2
Doktor Zymm

I applaud your lack of laziness, in Chicago I never removed my window AC in the winter, I just got an insulated cover for it. Of course, I also had super old windows that provided essentially zero insulation anyway, and radiator heat that kept the place way too hot even when it was frostbitingly cold, so it’s not clear there was any benefit to removing it.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Oh, I’ll likely be bitching about having to take them out come September/October. And no matter when I take them out, there will be a heatwave the next week.

3
Viva La Tabula Raza

The sun belt equivalent of this is leaving the Xmas lights up on the double-wide all year long. Extra credit if you disconnect them from a power source during the spring and summer.

3
Doktor Zymm

If Greenland is still shut in September, I think I’ll go Faroes/Scotland instead. There’s a Michelin starred restaurant in the Faroes, and I can fly into the beach runway at Barra airport. There’s also direct flights between Barra and Islay.

0
Horatio Cornblower

All I know about tourism in Greenland I got from this book.
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I’m not eager to go.

1
Doktor Zymm

Oooh, pre-trip reading!

1
Horatio Cornblower

Spoiler alert: Crocker Land is a mirage.

0
Horatio Cornblower

(It’s a good read, if occasionally depressing)

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

Guy I worked with on the environmental end of things had to manage the cleanups and compliance at Thule AFB up yonder in Greenland. At the time (early ’00s), I remember him telling me that the base had a couple dozen USAF uniformed types, and around 450 Danish contractors, just about all of them gay. That always struck me as an ideal location for those guys to live their preferred lifestyle.

1
Doktor Zymm

I also might be able to go in November if/when my Thailand cruise gets cancelled. It’s increasingly looking like most of SE Asia won’t be opening up this year. And thinking about it further, if Greenland isn’t open, then the Faroes won’t be either, but easy enough to spend the time in Scotland instead!

1
Dunstan

Islay is nice, though probably a little boring if you’re not into whisky, golf, or the landscape

0
Doktor Zymm

I like at least 2 of those things, and I’m willing to try golf

1
Dunstan

I loved it. Went about 15 years ago; I timed it to be there during their spring jazz fest — not because I’m a huge jazz fan, but it gave me stuff to do in the evenings. But I wouldn’t hesitate to go any other time of year. Say hi to my plot of land at Laphroaig*

*-I think they discontinued that program, so they no longer pretend that I own a square foot of Islay.

0
Doktor Zymm

We’re probably co-owners of the exact same square foot!

1
herodotus450

pre-shelled pistachios seem like the pinnacle of modern technology and progress and debauchery, but they end up tasting kind of… stale.

1
Mr. Ayo

Proper take

1
yeah right

You’ve really got to get that red food coloring all over your hands.

0
herodotus450

instead of going to overtime, one of the team’s should just be randomly picked to lose. That would incentivize some fucking action in the third period of tied games.

0
Doktor Zymm

Damn teenagers, hanging out in their street gangs!comment image

3
Beerguyrob

People having fun in… Buffalo?

https://twitter.com/carlocolaiacovo/status/1400266314648858624?s=21

3
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

That’s a nice stadium. Was there for a Bisons game

1
Doktor Zymm

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Beerguyrob

As the owner of a large breed & hairy dog, that’s at least a thousand dollars in cleaning right there.

Do the Ripley thing & nuke them from space.

1
Beerguyrob

Oh, it doesn’t totally cure it. It comes out of the pores for about a month.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, I’ve had two dogs, including our most recent, that have been blasted in the face, (are we still not doing phrasing?) by skunks. BGR speaks the truth: those remedies will greatly reduce the smell, but there’s going to be at least a faint reminder coming off of them for weeks, if not months.

1
Horatio Cornblower

We had one of those in our backyard a couple of days ago. A little bigger than those, but not much. Chased off our murderous outdoor cat, so I admire its courage, but am less enamored that it may have taken up residence under the shed.

0
herodotus450

If I could go back in time, I’d go to a few billion years ago and put a big rock on the ground or smash my feet on it somewhere so that the tectonic plates shift slightly differently so that in our time the city of Boston no longer exists.

4
TheRevanchist

The huge upside to this is the elimination of Mark Wahlberg from existence.

I am all for this endeavor.

1
herodotus450

And right on cue, a knuckle dragging waste of an egg slobbering mass of human garbage from Boston spears a guy.

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

I assume this is a hockey reference, because I don’t think the bedlam coming has got to the point yet where spears are being used. There are still plenty of guns out there…

0
Horatio Cornblower

Without having seen the play I’m going with Marchand.

1
Doktor Zymm

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1
WCS

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2
yeah right

Crowd sourcing here. In theory the Superb Owl is here in LA this season. Not sure how they allow that since the stadium hasn’t had a year of occupancy to work out the infrastructure issues.

Anyway.

Who should play the halftime show that would pay homage to LA?

I’ve got an idea or two but want to hear yours.

Last edited 4 years ago by yeah right
0
herodotus450

Gary Nunan*?
Meant Numan. The Cars guy. Get it?

Last edited 4 years ago by herodotus450
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Viva La Tabula Raza

I thought you meant Danny Noonan from Caddyshack. World needs ditchdiggers too.

6
WCS

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2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tha Dogg Pound.

1
yeah right

Hell yes.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The crew they put together for the above NBK song would be pretty fun.

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess it depends on the timeframe you want to evoke. Randy Newman, Jackson Browne, reanimated corpse of Warren Zevon, maybe Guns n Roses.
I will probably think of more.

0
yeah right

My second thought. Guns and Roses would be epic if they could keep them restrained. It’s got the Dad Rock and the Jock Rock. This should happen.

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

Tom Petty was a big fan of LA for the 40+ years he lived there, even sang a few songs about it. Too bad he’s in the same condition as Warren.
I guess there were a number of big hair bands that got launched off of the Strip and MTV, but I think GnR is all-encompassing of that genre.
I guess the Eagles, but I hate the fucking Eagles.

2
yeah right

Oh Jesus. It’s going to be the Eagles isn’t it?

Stay out of Malibu!

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

Get yer own fucking cab!

1
Dunstan

I like that I have lived long enough that liking the Eagles is now a bold contrarian position.

0
TheRevanchist

Rancid or Pennywise are not mainstream enough. Dre and Snoop don’t appeal to rednecks enough. Let’s hope they have enough sense to stay away from Gwen Stefani.

So, expect Billie Eilish, because we can’t have good things like Rancid.

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

I thought Rancid was a Bay Area band?

0
TheRevanchist

You’re right. I always assumed LA, because that’s where I have heard them playing more often.

0
Doktor Zymm

I suspect Dre and Snoop might have more redneck support than you think. They’re probably not considered ‘family friendly’ enough though.

1
yeah right

Snoop was my first thought and I hear he’s petitioning for it.
I saw him live and it was fantastic. There’s no way he fits the bill because you can’t restrain the Dogg Pound.

3
litre_cola

I have seen Pennywise at least a dozen times, they are phenomenal but you are correct they aren’t mainstream enough.

0
TheRevanchist

I mean, Pennywise has played every place in LA, at least 10 times over. They should be offering a frequent flyer pass by now, every 5 times you buy admission, you get the 6th free.

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

I only associated that name with Tim Curry in the storm drain. But I am not very hip at all any more.

0
yeah right

Fuck Authority live is a solid life moment.

-1
litre_cola

Hell yes!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5arZGgyGSc

1
WCS

It’ll be holographs of Tupac and Jim Morrison “performing” The Weeknd and Fall Out Boy.

0
Doktor Zymm

Nostradamus predicted this and then immediately killed himself

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

I would take Brian Wilson and any remaining Beach Boys that aren’t that cock Mike Love.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Social Distortion and X.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

You are all wrong. The correct answer, and you should have known this since they just got elected to the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame, is the Go-Gos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3kQlzOi27M

Last edited 4 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
2
Viva La Tabula Raza

Someone exploded an IED at a beer garden in Boerne, about 20 miles from me. The civil war is getting closer, I guess.
https://www.rawstory.com/improvised-explosive-device/

0
Doktor Zymm

Yikes. Impressive they already have someone in custody though, must be an amateur as I would have thought one of the major advantages of bombing is that you can be far away and difficult to trace by the time anything happens. Unless it turns out this was just another gender reveal gone awry…

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

Apparently there might have been some fishing contest skullduggery. Been to that lake a number of times; it’s the water supply for Boerne, so no internal combustion engines allowed and it’s real clean.
https://www.kens5.com/article/news/local/bomb-explosion-reported-near-boerne-lake-investigation-underway/273-0f2f356c-c964-4d1d-8182-bae24b5f568a

1
Doktor Zymm

If Carl Hiassen novels have taught me anything, it’s that fishing contests are filled with cheats and murderers.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_Whammy_(novel)

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“No whammy no whammy no whammy…DOUBLE whammy? Damnit!”

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

Hiaasen’s storylines are so insane. I love that guy…

1
Horatio Cornblower

I only read one of his, ‘Sick Puppy’, and Hiaasen’s got some issues. he does write a good book, though.

1
Doktor Zymm

My favorite of his is ‘Skinny Dip’

1
herodotus450

…I was saying Boernes…

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s pronounced “Bernie” so it took me a couple minutes to figure out that you weren’t making some political statement and were referencing Monty Burns.

0
litre_cola

I live downtown and someone just got smoked by a skunk. Toronto has its trash pandas and here for some weird reason we have skunks here. At least once a week someone’s dog in the neighboUrhood got a blast.

2
Doktor Zymm

If it weren’t for the odour issue and de-scenting probably being inhumane, I would totally have a skunk for a pet. Trash pandas are probably too smart to ever be domesticated.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Skunks sure are adorable.

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

Raccoons too.

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

Here in Texas the skunks get real active during mating season (I guess) and you smell skunk driving down the rural roads for the entire month of February.

0
WCS

Breaking golf news
comment imagecomment image

Ouch. Duly noted. Anyway, Third-round leader of Jack Nicklaus’s Memorial Tournament, Jon Rahm, had to withdraw after his round today after testing positive for The Rona. Dude had a six stroke lead with one round to play. Damn.

Okay, back to sprots and other things you really care about.
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1
yeah right

I was following that. Turned the tour on and said where the fuck is Rahm?

Hell of a thing. This shit is still out there people.

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

I know there are specific athletic strengths you must have in order to excel at golf (and bowling), but both of them seem to me more of a hobby than a sport.

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If the activity doesn’t involve running at any time, it’s not a sport. If the activity *only* involves running it is also not a sport.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also, adding running to the activity (i.e. speed golf) does not make it into a sport.

0
TheRevanchist

In the 90’s, they called that “extreme golf”. It was really, really dumb.

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s aged out and become “disc golf”.

1
Doktor Zymm

So actually most Olympic events are not sports? I’m okay with that.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s right! They’re athletic competitions! No less worthy of respect, but not “sports”.

Last edited 4 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
1
Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m sure there are others, but I know that you can drink booze when you golf or bowl.

0
Doktor Zymm

Typical Scottish castlecomment image

1
TheRevanchist

.

Willie.png
0
Doktor Zymm

The Corryvreckan is a dangerous bit of water in the Inner Hebrides between the isles of Jura and Scarba. It shipwrecked George Orwell when he was living on Jura while writing 1984 in 1948. comment image

2
Doktor Zymm

Some crazy people scuba dive the whirlpool
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkekcTMEHPc

1
Horatio Cornblower

“In memory of Duncan”

Gee, wonder what happened to Duncan.

1
Dunstan

Also the name of a great whisky by Ardbeg

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can confirm

0
Beerguyrob

I spent the afternoon cider tasting, with either a goat or Satan yelling at me from the roof.

A3F8DFEB-94BD-4725-8C0E-D2C4C1AE2F1F.jpeg
2
Beerguyrob

A delicious selection was to be had.

654BFBD8-0D93-44EF-A486-CD4E39557441.jpeg
2
litre_cola

Evenin, hangover subsided by 4 pm which is nice. I can’t believe BGR didn’t mention the Canada v Aruba hawt futbol aktion!

1
Beerguyrob

I couldn’t find a channel listing for it when I typed this up last night.

0
litre_cola

It is on OneSoccer, a Canadian streaming service only true futbol nerds have…

0
Beerguyrob

Then, I regret nothing.

2
yeah right

Wooo! Bet Essential Quality 7 across the board!

1
Gumbygirl

I am very happy for you, but never take Gamblor advice from me again. You will end up in a cardboard box under the freeway!

1
yeah right

Not again!

1
Doktor Zymm

Is it one of those nice roomy refrigerator boxes? That would be an improvement over some city apartments I’ve seen.

1
Gumbygirl

Here’s a nice one

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2
Gumbygirl

Not sure a fireplace is a good idea!

3
Gumbygirl

The gray horse won! This is absolutely a sign of an imminent apocalypse. Stop, drop, and roll!

5
yeah right

I learned that move from the Sandy Duncan show.

2
Gumbygirl

Wow, blast from the past! She had a glass eye, like my grandfather Church, but I’m willing to bet she didn’t get hers playing polo.

2
Doktor Zymm

I’m kind of astounded they aren’t delaying the Copa, seeing as pretty much all of South America is a hotspot right now.
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2021/world/covid-cases.html

1
litre_cola

Zymm, Bolso has everything under control. I mean he survived it.

1
Doktor Zymm

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6
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s darn nice of you to do that BGR! Thank you!

1
Mr. Ayo

Damn shame Baffert isn’t here to see this.

2
TheRevanchist

Russia: It’s still ran by the same jackasses that ran it before “the fall of communism”, so no real change there.

2
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