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Sexy Friday – Best of Mr. Ayo Showcases

ballsofsteelandfury

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This week, I am presenting to you all of my Balls Pics O’ Da Week from the showcases. In all honesty, it was impossible to pick just one picture from each set. Thus, here are my favourite pictures from all the showcases.

Enjoy!

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Balls’ Monthly Resolutions April Update!

Resolution #1 – Fitness

The goal is to get to 15% body fat and stay there. I am currently at 13.6%! The first part of the resolution has been achieved. The trick now is to keep it below 15%. I will continue to provide monthly updates.

Resolution #2 – Literature

The goal is to read 5 new books in 2022. I was given a book to read for work and I finished that. In addition, I just finished “The Little Sister” by Raymond Chandler. 2 down and 3 to go.

Resolution #3 – Writing

The goal is to create a new series for DFO. I had an idea going but then current events happened and the idea didn’t make as much sense anymore. I have since come up with a different idea and have written 6 posts out of what I think will be a 7 post series. I may publish them stating in mid-May.

Resolution #4 – Leisure

The goal is to take a week off work with no cell phone availability. I haven’t scheduled anything yet, but I AM taking more vacation time. I’m in a Use It Or Lose It situation, so I’m on vacation every Friday until the end of the fiscal year.

Resolution #5 – Giving Back

The goal is to perform one act of giving back per month. In April, I didn’t really do anything, so that means I have to double up this month.

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For those of you prudes that don’t like cheesecake or beefcake, click HERE to skip to the music videos.

Here are your 35 pictures of the month!

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YOU’RE-A-PRUDE

***

And now, for the music!

As I mentioned before, I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!

Today’s selections are by Oasis. I’m going to steal a YouTube comment because it’s really good and it applies to me:

I don’t often listen to Oasis but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Turn the volume up, fuckers.

Song Number One:

Oasis – Live Forever

Canción Número Dos:

Oasis – Champagne Supernova

Chanson Numéro Trois:

Oasis – Wonderwall

Canzone numero quattro:

Oasis – Supersonic

Canção número cinco

Oasis – Don’t Look Back In Anger

Seigarren zenbakia:

Oasis – Slide Away

***

That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and fly low and avoid the radar.

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Brick Meathook

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Gumbygirl

I enjoy hanging out at my sisters in law’s house in Riverside when they are out of town. Not so much babysitting my 89 year old father in law, who told me yesterday he really can’t control his bowels anymore. Bless your heart, Richard. Or the cat with cancer, who also can’t control his bowels anymore either. Bless your heart, Edward. No, it’s their bomb -ass bathtub! I have serious tub envy. But my shower is a zillion times better, and I have fucking roadrunners nesting in my heart- shaped bush. Not a euphemism, I have a bush shaped like a heart that they have been building their nest in. Here’s one of them.

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Last edited 3 years ago by Gumbygirl
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Sharkbait

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Attention Maestro and FMWarner: if you’re reading this, you should get your tips in, you’ve already missed four. I don’t want to finish in last but I want to earn my spot in not last.

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Sharkbait

Yeah, decided to forego tipping this season, considering I had no idea what the fuck I was doing.

0
TheRevanchist

Games are over, with some baseball exceptions. Time to elevate drinking status to Level Clear.

1
WCS

https://youtu.be/An0bFUjByEA

I knew it was a dire situation, but, not this die. Sorry, Redshirt.

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Redshirt

This is different with the Bungles. At least I still rooted for them. Say what you want about Mike Brown, but he at least tried. He is/was a cheap bastard stuck in his 1970s ways, but he at least tried.

These Reds; I’m opening rooting against them. I want them to get the worst record.

1
Gumbygirl

They’ll have to fight the Pirates for that cellar. We’ve been there so long, we’re like blind cavefish now.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wonder if scurvy prevented Ireland from having a naval industry of any significance. Because it’s never too late, and I feel like the new Jameson Orange would help solve some problems.

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TheRevanchist

Can’t I just add a dash of orange liquor to some Jameson and have the same thing?

3
Sharkbait

Or bitters. Or an orange peel

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Dunstan

I invented a new hot toddy recipe in Ireland:

Shot of Irish whiskey (I used Powers, but whatever)
Spoonful of orange marmalade
Boiling water

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Gumbygirl

England prevented Ireland from having a naval industry of any significance. Or any other industry, except beer and whiskey. At least until very recently. And a product with “orange” in the title might be a problem for a huge swath of the country!

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2Pack

Great hustle Ayo and Balls. And super progress on the goals there pal. Most people lack your focus. Go get them all!

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ballsofsteelandfury

Thanks!

1
TheRevanchist

Yes. The odd thing is I find myself appreciative of butt sweat after that first pic. This is normally not the case. At all.

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Gumbygirl

You’re not smelling it.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GAME I CALL IT THE FIFTH ELEMENT BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE DALLAS WILL PREVAIL IN THE END.

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Redshirt

Just keep the star player away from “war” in the dictionary. “Holocaust”, “rape”, “murder”, “genocide” are fine, but if they see “war” they’ll completely lose all hope in humanity.

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TheRevanchist

Big badda boom

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Sharkbait

What an awesomely bad movie that is. It’s so over the top it circles back to being great

2
Redshirt

BBC America is airing “Blazing Saddles”. Surprising the edited for content version is longer than 15 minutes.

Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t think Bea Arthur is reprising her role

2
Redshirt

Today’s Artists: “I know where the line is, so I can approach it as close as I can get without going over it.”

Mel Brooks: plays hopscotch with the line

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Dunstan

I disagree. Some things would be different, but the basic joke is on how racist the white people are.

It’s not even like there’s a categorical rule against using the n-word in movies now. Django Unchained wasn’t that long ago, and Tarantino and Leo have continued to have careers.

3
Gumbygirl

The horse punching would be frowned on, but everything else would fly.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

John Elway would lead a boycott if they included anything like that these days.

3
Gumbygirl

He would say neigh.

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Redshirt

Good point. If Robert Downey, Jr. can pull off wearing blackface in “Tropic Thunder”, they can get the joke about “Blazing Saddles”.

I think the rule of thumb about the n-word is, if its historical (“Lincoln”) or if its a character that needs to use the n-word or else the characterization will be hollow (Duke Brothers in “Trading Places”). As long as its not just dropping it for shock value.

The most important thing is for the actor to clear it with everyone who may be offending by the slur, so they’ll know its the character saying it and not the actor (word is that Don Ameche was uncomfortable saying the n-word, but Eddie Murphy said it was fine because it was for a role, but reiterating its not acceptable otherwise.)

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Redshirt

Me and my friends still use the “Jumping around like a bunch of Kansas City…”, but for obvious reasons, the quote has been truncated to mumbling.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Spaceballs was on BBC America before Blazing Saddles and they cut the shit out of it.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

They cut out the part of the scene where they are combing the desert where the black guys are using an afro pick and say, “We ain’t found shit!”

That makes no sense to me.

2
Redshirt

Ah, don’t get me started on “Spaceballs”. At least “Yippie-ki-yay, Mr. Falcon” in Die Hard 2 makes some sense as it was the bad guy’s callsign. They butchered “Spaceballs”.

I can get cutting out the word asshole, but the whole scene? You can’t just cut out the word and keep one of the best parts of the movie? I’m surprised they keep the Ludicrous Speed scene for fear someone wouldn’t wear their seatbelts after watching it like Lord Helmet.

1
2Pack

I hate not being able to run with scissors anymore

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I believe the proper expression is “they Ray Lewised it”.

5
WCS

“Yes. Take ‘care of.’”

— S., Northern Ontario

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yo.

0
WCS

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Haldo

1
Sharkbait

Bon soir

1
Redshirt

Adrian.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What’s shaking? Hopefully not your new home.

1
Gumbygirl

Just for you, Balls. Happy Sexy Friday!

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ballsofsteelandfury

Wonderful!

3
SonOfSpam

Thanks for spotlighting Oasis – didn’t really like them in the 90s, mostly for the mature reason that people who did like them were annoying (also applied to Friends and Seinfeld). But they kick ass, no gettin around that.

6
ballsofsteelandfury

Same here. I liked them but not as much as I otherwise would have because of their annoying fans. Listening to their songs now, it’s easy to recognize why they were the biggest band in the world at the time.

2
Dunstan

I was exposed to COVID earlier this week (I’m fine, tested negative), so I’m staying at home all weekend drinking and watching hockey.

No, I wouldn’t say “hero” exactly, but…

6
SonOfSpam

Not unless you order a big-ass sandwich.

3
WCS

This man deserves a statue.

1
Redshirt

This is what I still don’t understand. All we had to do sit at home, eat carryout and watch TV and surf the internet.

How did we screw this up?!

5
rockingdog

Found a funny;

thinking about the time I found a box in my parents’ basement that was full of wigs and sunglasses and hats and stuff and when I asked my mom about it she was just like “sometimes you need to do surveillance” and refused to elaborate

3
rockingdog

Wait Joel Embiid is playing?
That’s Rocking!!

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ooh, boy. These candidate statements for the California senator primary are pretty interesting. Tough call between the guy who says “the poisonous fake vaccines don’t work” and the guy who says “America must be Revived [sic] from collapsing.”

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And then for governor: “I empathize without beguilement nor prejudice how solemn my words must tender to assuage your unfeighed hardship & bereavement, cloaked in the uncertainty of loss.”

0
Gumbygirl

Are you making fun of my handsome boyfriend Gavin?

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ballsofsteelandfury

I just voted for him!

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ooh! “F all politicians.”

I think we have a new frontrunner!

0
herodotus450

Toronto up 3-1 in game three, this typically doesn’t end well for them.

1
WCS

Especially when the glass panes gain sentience and start falling on people.

0
WCS

Someone took the batteries from one of the remotes to a TV in the lobby. Mac and Dee strike again!

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Gumbygirl

Lol, Gumby and I were just wondering, was it weather or just eh, fuck it, who cares?

0
Gumbygirl

That’s some flash flooding right there!

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Joel Embid is back!

It’s a one point game!

0
WCS

OWAAHHHH GLAAAAHHHHHHSSSSS CAHHHNNN KILL YOUAHHHH GLAAAAHHHHSSSSS

NO ONE DENIES THIS!

1
Redshirt

.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Great hustle by everyone who contributed to Request Line today. Great, great hustle.

[slaps many asses, hard]

1
WCS

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scotchnaut

“Many asses were slapped hard, some others were slapped gently, your Honor. Of that there can be no doubt. HOWEVER, by joining this site it was implicitly implied that at any juncture, at any time, your ass would be slapped, HARD! I rest my case!”

-RTD, arguing his case in court after some dipshit ratted him out, smgdh…*

*I was in Venezuela at the time, so you can rule me out**

**Horatio? He was at CIA Headquarters in Reston Virginia, according to his phone. Unbelievable!

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