(FYI: his name was Max; he was a rescued dog; he died of cancer at 8; he was the bestest.)

The Browns paraded their top draft picks before the media. Something seems a little off about the picture:

Wouldn’t you line them up the other way? If this were Carolina, I’d say it was so the white guy could be first despite 3/5^ths of the picks being non-white. But this is Cleveland, so they’re all probably fucked regardless of order. Far be it from me to question the man – Paul DePodesta – who helped the A’s win all those World Series in the early 2000s. And I’m sure Hue Jackson knows what he’s doing. The Factory’s gonna be fine.

Pretty scary story about Duane Brown of the Texans testing positive for clenbuterol after visiting Mexico. He was able to avoid the suspension by being able to prove that it was given to beef cattle, not to him. Still, how much carne asada did he eat down there that he tested positive? I don’t know how comfortable I’d have been trusting Roger Goodell to believe in science. “Mexican Meat” sounds like a ‘Ron Mexico’ excuse.. Meanwhile, Cameron Jordan had the right attitude.

Politics: This is how I picture Donald Trump surveying the Republican field this afternoon:

Lots of people have already made the Cruz-aborting-his-campaign joke, so why repeat it here? I want to beat other stuff to death. Like, for example, who will he pick as his VP nominee? I’m assuming they have already told him it can’t be his son. I don’t think he’d pick a female running mate, given all the negative press he’s gotten related to women during the primaries; plus, it would look like pandering. Right now, given all the people who initially lined up against him, the crowd seems relatively small. Potential choices could be:

John Kasich

Former Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels

Marco Rubio

Former Defense Secretary Robert Gates

Or New Jersey Governor Chris Christie

Once Hillary finally despatches Bernie, there will be the protocol of the conventions and then the OH-GOD-WHEN-WILL-IT-END of the fall campaign. And if you think football will be our blessed saviour, just remember who’ll be filling those Fan Duel ad spots on Fox & CBS. Don’t forget state initiatives and those crazy bastards running for Congress. Here’s how CNN projects the states to break down come the fall:

Don’t think your state is safe. Do you think Boston/New England TV will escape the pernicious onslaught of “Donny & TAWMMMY” ads? Not thanks to New Hampshire! Live free or die, indeed. We’re doomed, I tell you. DOOMED! Whaddya think, J-Law?

General note: Spare a kind thought for the people of Fort McMurray, Alberta.

This is what it looks like when you have to evacuate 60000 people in 6 hours because the wind shifted.

NASA provided a shot from space:

Canadian Commentists are encouraged to donate here.

Personal note: I’m going to be in Nashville from May 9-12, as the +1 to a conference my lovely wife is attending. If the Predators somehow make it to a Game 6, you know I’ll be there. Please to be providing in the comments recommendations for bars, barbecue, and general entertainment.

The games! A very light schedule tonight.

NHL: Capitals @ Penguins – 8:00 – Game 4

NBA: Hawks @ Cavs – 8:00 – Game 2

A final aside, if my math is correct – and it should be; I’m a History major – on April 30th at 12:19 AM, theeWeeBabySeamus posted DFO’s 175,000^th comment:

A significant statement for a significant milestone. It was attached to a YouTube of Rush’s “Leave That Thing Alone”. Number 200,000 will most likely be something by Moose. WHAT’S THAT OCTOPUS DOING TO THAT LADY?!