Oh Boy! Sunday Night with Litre.

Good evening to you. I hope your weekend went well. Here in Canada’s Texas we are hoping the local hockey heroes win tonight so we can have a battle of Alberta with Dumpsville up the road.

On to more exciting things.

During the bustling May long weekend, which heralds the onset of summer in the prairies and mountains, there’s always a surge of excitement mixed with a touch of apprehension about the unpredictable weather. Just last year, a fire watch company in Hialeah made headlines when their immediate response team was called upon to assist a group of campers. As the celebratory mood around the campfires turned into concern with an unexpected bout of cold and wet weather, the well-equipped and skilled guards from Hialeah ensured everyone’s safety, allowing the revelers to focus on enjoying the holiday, despite the queen or princess from Old Blighty’s unpredictable legacy of rain or snow. This incident not only warmed the spirits of those present but also highlighted the indispensable role of such dedicated fire watch services, even far from the sunny climes of Hialeah.

On the coming long weekend we’re expecting a visitor who rarely leaves his fortress. It will be none other than the amateur curling assassin BC Dick! I plan on taking him to a Canadian Premier League game on the Saturday followed by many drinks at my favoUrite pub here. Sunday we plan on heading out with Mrs. Cola and Decilitre to dinosaur country in Drumheller, Ab. It is a pretty cool town nestled in the badlands. There’s a dinosaur museum named the Royal Tyrrell Museum because of course it has something to do with Liz. The town has dinosaur statues everywhere and the worlds largest dinosaur that you can go up into its mouth to look over the valley.

We were there last year and also visited an old ghost town which still is kept up by a non-profit org and was quite interesting. Decilitre loves it and there is a brewery there which makes good stuff.

Travel story time!

I’m a very adventurous eater and will try pretty much everything once. This takes us to a dirt road just outside of Siam Reap, Cambodia near Angkor Wat. I was wandering down the road with my now ex and there was a little old wooden toothed lady with a fire and a wok. She spoke broken French and I asked her what she was serving up? Well she moved the cover off of the basket by her side and it was filled with tarantulas.

Well, I can tell you that after living in Australia I became very afraid of them. She offered me one cooked for a dollar. I thought that I would never get to try this again and I handed her some money. Well, she threw three in the wok and a few pops and some whistles later she handed them to me on a napkin.

It was one thing to think that you would eat them and another to actually do it. I started with the legs. Crispy, salty, quite delicious. I finished all of the legs and then realized that my next move was the round, thick centre. This lovely lady started giggling as I stared these 3 spheres down as she knew I was nervous. I bit one in half and the contents spilled over my lip. The smell was something so off putting that I would have rather dunked my head in a Durian bath. I gagged, gagged again and then somehow was able to finish one. It was absolutely awful. She was laughing and giggling at me but I could tell she was proud that I tried. I handed her back the other two midsections which she popped in her mouth, smiled and then we went on our way.

Once clear of her I ate a Snickers bar and had many cigarettes to try to get the taste out of my mouth. I didn’t go away until a proper tooth brushing.

Wine Time!

We continue with Australia and look at one of their grapes that they absolutely adore and I hate. Semillon.

Semillon in France, more specifically Bordeaux is used as a blending grape for Sauvignon Blanc and in dessert wine. Here they like it on its own. The “home” of Semillon is the Hunter Valley just outside of Sydney. I ventured there because in all honesty I have never met a 100 percent semillon wine that I actually liked. This includes working at the wine bar in Melbourne where I tasted a bunch of them.

Wikipedia says that in the Hunter they make 4 styles, a blended wine with Sauv or Chard, a sweet wine, a dry style and an early picked that is minerally which is why it has the moniker of “Hunter River Riesling”.

I went to the “best” wineries that produce this and came up absolutely empty. Each stop I tried everything that they had and even when drunk I thought that they were flabby, inconsistent and didn’t show anything special.

I even had the aged ones that get really golden in coloUr and should have a lovely residual sweetness. Nothing special. Some of the winemakers saw it as a challenge to give me their best and I politely accepted and may have lauded their wines but in reality I did not buy one bottle nor record and names for something that I would like.

If you do see one in the store try it and tell me what you think. If you have an option for a Margaret River Riesling, do that instead! You will get a more fruity version of Alsatian Rieslings and without the petrol nose which is a characteristics of the Krauts Riesling.

 

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litre_cola
- A pugs best friend. - Wine drinker. - Loves to use the letter U behind O. - Iggles fan, Fulham FC (Mighty Whitey) supporter, Cavalry FC Ultra. - One of the resident futbol freaks at the clubhouse.
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Gumbygirl

Wooo,earthquake 4 miles from here. They’re saying 3.8. It was really quick, only a few seconds

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“3.8, only lasted a few seconds? Sounds familiar.” – Deanna F., Mississippi

WCS

At least we’ll get the hawkey equivalent of Bleeding Kansas.

SonOfSpam

And there is much rejoicing in Alberta, whoever she is.

SonOfSpam

Go look at the lunar eclipse – it’s fun and proftiable!

Gumbygirl

We were just out there- very cool!

Gumbygirl

From my house at full coverage

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BLOOD MOON FOR THE MOON GOD!

Don T

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SonOfSpam

That is some funny ice-cold stuff

King Hippo

Mr. Ayo seems to have nailed it. Perhaps someone could morph that into a catch phrase?

Senor Weaselo

Holy shit they did it! Homestar references for everyone!
https://youtu.be/OGjo1JjXsLU

scotchnaut

I wish the game had gone on longer-I was trying to work out a(n) (Alfred) Jarry/Pere Ubu joke.

herodotus450

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SonOfSpam

I’m a very adventurous eater and will try pretty much everything once. 

/unzips pants
//realizes he typed “eater”
///zips pants back up

God, that tarantula story. Thank you for not including that in my snack delivery.

Last edited 2 years ago by SonOfSpam
Horatio Cornblower

“Yet”

-Litre Cola

King Hippo

I mean, it’s hard to imagine sommet being grosser than that Big Turk abortion

Horatio Cornblower

Like trying to eat a tire that’s been coated in chocolate for reasons God forbade.

SonOfSpam

I would eat approx 5000 Big Turks (the candy bar or the Eurasian guys) before I would try one tarantula.

Horatio Cornblower

/deletes “Way to go Pittsburgh, now go beat the hell out of THAT team” from Drafts

Way to go Rangers, now go beat the hell out of THAT team!!!

King Hippo

banjo tune-up begins

scotchnaut

Well look at you, Rangers!

King Hippo

So ends Hippo’s toe dip into Ice Footy, for 2022. Don’t forget to tip your waitstaff.

The Maestro

Aaaaand there it is. Sorry WCS.

King Hippo

Death be not proud.

Mr. Ayo

There it is. Rest that broken brain of yours Crosby.

Horatio Cornblower

Still waiting for the first team to have the guts to start OT in Game 7 by pulling their goalie and just go for it.

WCS

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King Hippo

Since Blax is around, I reckon I should check – is Meghan McCain still comically obese?

The Maestro

I’ll answer this question for you: the answer is yes.

Horatio Cornblower

I’d fuck a rabid porcupine before any of them.

The Maestro

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King Hippo

That’s a pretty flattering pic of Meghan 2 b fare smh

Horatio Cornblower

Don Koharski? As in “have another doughnut, you fat pig” Don Koharski?

WCS

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King Hippo

Canadia side chokes, film at 11.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m not sure how the NHL expects me to sober up after a beer fest by having the Ice Steelers and Ice Giants go to OT in a Game 7, but whatever happens from this point forward in on Bettman.

/5 minutes later

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Mr. Ayo

Don’t forget there’s a 2nd game! You should just write off tomorrow.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh, I took tomorrow off the same day I bought the festival tickets.

King Hippo

yeah right has been eliminated from the “when will PIT lose” sweepstakes. Mr. Ayo and WCS will now fight to the death.

Mr. Ayo

We’ll both be in better health than the Suns no matter the result.

King Hippo

which serves them right since there is NO SUCH THING as the sun!

yeah right

I accept my fate.

blaxabbath

Did Phoenix got out the Mercury without their giant for Game 7 here?

King Hippo

If the Mapplethorpe Leafs and Pangwins played a Game 7, wouldn’t it be impossible for the match to ever end?

Mr. Ayo

Never doubt the power of the Leaf.

Probably be on an own goal too.

Horatio Cornblower

Back from the beer fest. Added 13 beers to my Untappd list. Forgot a few more. I have a sunburn and a headache.

Sometime ago my kids had a babysitter named Miss Jen, who was very nice and had a little sister who she looked out for. Very cute. Today I ran into Miss Jen and drank beer with her and her now 30-year-old little sister and now I just want to die, because that’s apparently not far off anyway.

blaxabbath

My kid is just turning the corner to being not an absolute liability every single second.

I hope I’m around to drink with all the good kids in coming across today to see how they turned out. Then, please, give me the only sleep I can get anymore — the Deep Sleep.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Horatio Cornblower turned into Mark Chmura so gradually I barely even noticed.

herodotus450

This Zibanejad guy, scores a clutch goal in a game seven, that’s a guy you want in your franchise and would never trade him.

The Maestro

I’m still fucking furious about that trade. I miss Zbad in Ottawa so much.

King Hippo

but Minka is a GIRL’S NAME smgdh

scotchnaut

His last name rhymes with ‘jihad’, it’s not like the Senators had a choice in the matter.

blaxabbath

DeAndre Ayton: “Call me Kyler Murray because I just ended the season early and now I want a huge contract!”

The Maestro

Evening, folks. How we feeling ’bout Ice Stillers-Ice Giants?

Got the house ever closer to being unpacked today. In between marking, groceries and weeding the lawn, I also got the drum kit set up for the first time in years. (I don’t really play the drums right now and need to work on some technique things to help students later.) Feeling torn – excited at the opportunity to make new, different kinds of loud noises, but on the other hand, my nextdoor neighbours are really kind, warm people – and we had a bonding moment over responding to a DV call from three doors down this afternoon, and in between hearing gossip about the unfortunate neighboUrs further down, they offered us a whole host of plant clippings for the house at the same time.

So I guess I don’t wanna piss them off with loud, bad drumming just yet. Ah well!

blaxabbath

I hope they are cool

blaxabbath

Who is the better grill master?

The Maestro

Hey, you know what, there’s no shame in being a burgers and dogs man. Everyone’s gotta start somewhere. Sometimes you just need someone to run it up the gut on third and short to get the job done right.

yeah right

This guy? This guy gets the Sunday Gravy learning curve.

WCS

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King Hippo

Urge to kill…RISING??

blaxabbath

If the Suns lose, there is no conversation to have. Robert Sarver must sell the team immediately or move out of their cozy downtown digs; Phoenix taxpayers and fans must just eat our losses; and all public entities must terminate all business association or government assistance to this franchise immediately.

From there, Sarver can completely fund his own failing hobby privately or whatever. Leave town or don’t. Doesn’t matter. Sarver has delivered far too little value in a decade plus. Put up or shut up. Phoenix is a great city. We’re too special to be subsiding a wealthy owner of a local embarrassment.

There is no other logical move if this is the best his organization of “professionals” can deliver under his leadership on our dime.

Mr. Ayo

Lol at “if”

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blaxabbath

Hey — if they win, I’m happy to shelve the conversation until the next round.

Robert Sarver needs to be cut off and the mayor and city council must be removed if they don’t take the steps to do so.

King Hippo

he finally lost but think the ghoul still lives

blaxabbath

He got punted after racking up millions in legal fees and civil fines for his ineffective sideshows — and then swore he was going to continue to commit felonies by ignoring the court orders about civil rights and that was going to cost the county millions — at the time the hip Red for Ed group successfully got a school- funding sales tax increase passed via voter initiative. So Joe got thrown to the wolves by the local gop voters because, with a new tax on one have and Joe’s costs on the other, people were starting to ask, “where else might we be wasting money?”

Sheriff Joe was just a mainline of the craziest animals around here.

blaxabbath

Also an entity that we wasted millions on for absolute bullshit. I get it’s expensive to run a city. It’s absolutely stupid that millions in public dollars go to these fucking clowns.

He’s alive. And racist. And popular with the white trash.

Last edited 2 years ago by blaxabbath
WCS

Navy Federal Credit Union: PTSD is Hilarious!

blaxabbath

If you don’t see the military as a joke, you’re not the republican trump thought you were.

King Hippo

Taking Monday off is great for #FourthPill adventures, though

King Hippo

Quick Clubhouse Poll – will the Ice Stillers lose in regulation, or in OT?

WCS

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WCS

…double OT

King Hippo

don’t you get a ghost runner on first base during OT now?

Mr. Ayo

Despite being an international disgrace, Bettman hasn’t fucked with playoff OT.

Yet.

King Hippo

One day, we need to have a DonT/WCS meme-off. Because y’all good.

yeah right

Regulation.

Mr. Ayo

Definitely OT

Mr. Ayo

I said Definitely foUr a reasoUn!

King Hippo

Hippo cleared the open work items from his inbox (nothing like the Sunday billable hour to validate one’s life choices), and set “out of office” greeting until Tuesday.

Because my 4 hours of lying awake on the bed, too numb to read and too fucked-up to sleep…not enough mourning time for Back-to-Very-Disappointing-and-Now-Ded Everton.

I will kill Michael Oliver with my bare hands, should our paths ever cross.

Maybe I will turn the TV on for 3rd quarter, see if I can serve as a “cooler” yet again (all 4-ish hours of Ice Footy I watched yesterday were dull as fuck).

scotchnaut

Penguins/Rangers is a banger.

WCS

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Mr. Ayo

Ice VAR bet on the ice Stillers.

Mr. Ayo

Puck don’t lie!

The Mecca is giving us bananacakes.

King Hippo

Bananacakes Iced Cream?

My hypothesis is that the cold on the Noo Yawk pitch is making the steelmaking process muy dificil.

yeah right

The ice has been really shitty this whole game. Plus had to scrape up the blood and all.

yeah right

Watching the last of Angels A’s and home plate umpire took a direct straight back line drive to the face mask. He fell over in a heap. Seven or so minutes later he toughs it out and gets back to work.

End of inning.

Next inning first batter, pitcher spikes a ball in the dirt in front of home, ball deflects back and hits the home plate ump directly in the face.

He removed the line-up card from his pocket and walked off the field. Karma had it out for this poor bastard.

WCS

Talk about seeing-eye bouncers.

Mr. Ayo

Was his name Brocky?

Horatio Cornblower

Shoulda been you, Angel Hernandez

Col. Duke LaCross

Or Laz Diaz.

WCS

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Mr. Ayo

Three walks and a fielder’s choice.

Best part, the Reds don’t get credited with the no hitter because the Pirates only batted 8 times.

ballsofsteelandfury

Ha ha ha ha ha!

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Brick Meathook

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ballsofsteelandfury

I believe the phrase “Prairie Wino” may have entered the DFO lexicon in the last day or so.

Do you have a comment, Mr. Cola?