Gack! As Bill the Cat would have said ever so eloquently back in the day. It’s week 13 already and these damn seasons seem to fly by faster and faster every year.
Newsy Notes:
-Raheem Mostert and Jeff Wilson are doing a bit of chirping regarding the relative skill levels of the opposing qb’s in the Fins/Niners tilt. Well, they would know and I don’t think they’re wrong. This adds a bit more spice to a game that I’m very much interested in seeing.
-The OBJ Team Tour continues (subject to an air steward’s whims?) and I noticed that Tre White re-jiggered his contract, freeing up 2.3 million for the Bills. Interesting. Don’t believe the Giants crap-they have no money right now.
-Von Miller is off to chase chickens on a farm upstate for a minimum of 4 weeks. He’s been placed very gently on IR. (just save him for the playoffs, I say)
-It Moved!: That’s what all my fellow fantasy fellows said when news of Ja’Marr Chase being back dropped.
To The Game!
Bills/Pats:
-Buffalo has 8 wins and seems to have leverage but no-they have Zilcho division wins to date. They are also 3-2 in their last 5.
-Good thing they’re up against a Pats team that is playing their third game in 12 days. That makes it so hard to rest their banged up players, further exposing them to more owies.
-Can’t Keep Up: During Mac Jones’ brief tenure with the Pats he is 0-8 when the opposing team scores 25 or more.
-You’d think that the Bills can put up that many even with Josh Allen reverting back to his rookie tendencies since his elbow injury. He leads the league in INT’s and is trending towards 17 which would be a career high.
-Good News or Something Else?: Pats kicker Nick Folk is tied for the league-lead in made field goals! That’s because New England gets bogged down in the red zone too often.
-If Belichick can somehow take Diggs out of the game I think the main beneficiary will be MacKenzie, not hot and cold Gabe Davis. Do I have the balls to start the former in my monkey league? No, likely not.
Do that thing.
Eat your heart out Brick! I didn’t use any screws for this.
https://vimeo.com/299592510
Holy Mario Kart
Dane Cook is on the Tonight Show? Did the Flux Capacitor I built in my garage and put in my car actually work?!
No, I’m not sticking around for the Google pixel post game show.
Night, you miscreants.
I bailed for Christmas Bobs Burgers episodes.
Speaking of, here’s your Christmas boobs
https://boobychristmas.com/
Sneak preview of tomorrow?
Of course not. Such excessive pornography is not allowed in our august and respected blog posts. Consider this a bonus as a loyal [DFO] subscriber that pays off every day this month.
I adore this. What a lovely idea!
Also, Christmas bootys
https://booty-christmas.com/
Holy crap!! Christmas came early!!
You have to give the Patriots credit. Most teams just dress up like the past teams. But the Patriots are actually playing the late 80s-early 90s Patriots. That’s dedication!
Why am I still watching this game? Is Irving Fryar coming back?
Did you bet on it?
Did I bet on Irving Fryar coming back? Wouldn’t you like to know….
HARF?
Harf harf! I went to school from 1st grade through high school with a boy named Tom Dick. He was Gumby’s roommate in college for a year before he joined the Navy.
Can’t wait to see the live Gameday Special with a bunch of sorority girls waving signs with “I LOVE DICK” on them behind the sportscasters.
Tiny down
This is how bananacakes the Group E matches were today. Every single team had some time during which – had the matches ended without anything else happening – they would have advanced.
Min 70 was glorious
Yeah, Spain and Germany out would have been maximum bananacakes.
Belgium and Germany out feels wrong. But it is what it is.
I have no beef with either squadron but I absolutely love it.
Nice Steve Grogan tribute
Herbstreit is easily the best/least annoying coloUr commentator in the NFL.
I saw the Red Band trailer for cocaine bear earlier and I am so looking forward to seeing this no matter how divorced from reality it is, I mean the bear just eats a wrapped kilo of coke instead of finding a soup spoon with which to snort it?
Yayo the Bear higher than the average bear boo boo.
I hope that bear gets an Oscar nom.
If the bar also had a foot fetish it would be Tarantinos last movie
Everyone knows Warthogs and Trolls are the cokeheads of the animal kingdom.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9n40S4DY914
It needs more “Leo gettin bear stomped”
Little known fact, Leo demanded that the first bear they brought in be replaced with a younger bear, the original bear being older than 26 in bear years.
The cat says I should go to sleep now. And one should always listen to Dat Pussy, chuh chuh. Y’all be good, and we know it’s NAWT FAYUH, Maestro and Sharky
Sweet dreams! And maybe some tuna!
Mm complimentary macarons
“We appreciate all the work you’ve done over the years-we’re just whipped egg whites, sugar and a few other ingredients but we think the world of you!”
So I’ve never made it completely thru Deep Space Nine. I’m having to take some downtime from minor surgery and determined to finish the show.
I’m 9 episodes in and fuck am I already tired of how desperately thirsty everyone is for Dax. Except Sisko that is. The good doctor is the pervy-ist of the bunch. I mean yea, I absolutely had a crush on her when I was younger watching the show, but never realized how awful it was in regards to this aspect. I know she ends up with Worf though.
she was on Odo’s bucket list
Yeah, his knees would turn to jelly when he’d see her.
If skipping a bit is best for enjoyment don’t feel guilty about it, enjoy yourself!
Nah, I don’t need to skip it. It’s just awfully cringe though. Like 90s “if I wear her down she’ll go out with me” boy energy.
Also, it helps that they didn’t have Bashir fleshed out yet. Even his actor didn’t like him in the early seasons.
Eh, she’s super hot, smart, can drink and gamble with the boys, I would have made an ass of myself too.
She’s no Seven of Nine
Give me Deanna Troi any day. She’d know all the awful things you’d want to do to her before you did. And those exercise costumes. Goodness me.
An excellent rebuttal.
If we’re talking TNG, I’m a Beverly Crusher man myself.
But full uniform Deanna Troi. Trekkies may hate Jellico, but I’m one of his rare supporters for getting Troi out of her casual gear and into a blue skintight uniform.
In story, its because he knew her when she was a horny old man.
Also, if you are in Season 1 and 2, hang in there. Like The Next Generation, it doesn’t pick up until Season 3 and then Season 4 it hits its stride.
As the unofficial DFO Star Trek expert (by my name alone), the unofficial list of hotties is:
Jadzia Dax
Seven of Nine
Kira Nerys
B’Elanna Torres (de-spliced human duplicate)
Deanna Troi
B’Elanna Torres
Uhura (Star Trek III)
Uhura (Kelvin timeline)
T’Pol
Ezri Dax
Dr. Crusher
Ahem
Damn it! Add her to the list in below Troi.
Also:
Didn’t watch Discovery and shows afterwards, so those hotties are omitted. Please feel free to include those to list in appropriate spots. But if Narissa isn’t on your list, your arguments are invalid!
Doink’lar
Having a fine year
Did he just say that timeout strategy was not “newenglandy”? That’s the big bucks! Lol
Quessenberry is a hell of a last name
His ancestors came very close to almost barely defining the rules of boxing!
I wouldn’t mind being the Quessen of an area rather than the Queen, seems like it would have fewer responsibilities
I’d still demand the jewelry. And the corgis.
Allen heaves a ball towards a guy that is covered by three(!) defenders. Something is not right with the play-calling in Buffalo.
Comm is down.
Some filthy weasel stole my credit card info and went on a spree at the Ontario science centre. The swine robbed me to go learn. Doesn’t get lower than that.
Unexpected!
Its Beakman’s World you are just living in it
HEY I DID NO SUCH THING! Though that sounds like something I’d do with someone else’s card…
Please tell me you noticed before they flew across the whole damn country to learn.
They stayed local. Now I get to wait for a new card. Good excuse for late Christmas presents this year though.
I get a $25 minibar credit with the (waived) resort fee, so going with some dark chocolate toffee ($12) and a cucumber mint ketel one vodka spritz can ($8) cucumbery!
I hope there is no pop quiz, because my attention has REALLY waned.
#FifthPillProblems
Man, I hope I hit that during PAC-tion tomorrow, after a nice late afternoon
napnodding off.What if it is a quiz about what midwesterners call pop and normal people call soda?
As a Patriots fan, but Josh Allen/Stefon Diggs owner:
“My Cause My Cleats” (were I involved) would have something to do with the complete decimation of all mosquitos.
Is THAT your code word now smgdh
I’M TRYINGTO ELIMINATE MALARIA FROM THE WORLD (and more than a few railroad-riding freeloaders that have what’s coming to them, btw)
/It’s called multi
taskingkilling, btw!Northern Ontario = Manitoba mosquitos.
Where can I donate?
Get into Bio-tech, if that’s your goal…
https://www.the-scientist.com/sponsored-article/combating-mosquito-borne-diseases-with-crispr-70607
I forgot to mention, Madre Weaselo and I got linner from, fittingly, one of Grandpa’s favorite local restaurants, the Australian restaurant from the shopping center down the block.
(It’s Outback.)
It makes no sense, but they have maybe the best ribs I’ve ever had
It didn’t, but he liked the coasters before the gout meant he couldn’t go there anymore.
Once again Providence gets no love on the bumper shots to break, despite being closer to Foxboro
That used to infuriate Viva. I miss him.
SAFETY DANCE!
I assume we’ve seen and discussed this earlier?
https://twitter.com/AmyDashTV/status/1598446377742512129?t=PSvChc8hLtlX7BnMUfP14A&s=19
So masculine, no wonder Giselle was HAWT for him!
/but seriously, this man desperately needs intense help
Who knocked themselves out by hitting their head at a restaurant today?
Litre did. Woke up on the floor wondering what the hell happened. Oh, the ceiling in the basement is under 6 ft, completely my fault.
I feel like one correlates to the other.
Resto manager was nice though and she is a known harpie. She could see I was wobbly and rattled. Wife had to pick me up. Car downtown in -22 weather. Will it start tomoro? no.
I mean, no one is going to blame the ceiling. It wasn’t glass and you’re a guy.
rub sum dirt on it
Dirt=Cocaine.
Haha, you nawt short!
Hang out 1 night with Gametimedecision and you will feel tiny like being in the Netherlands.
I only really feel tall in southeast asia, I’m not super short, but short enough to have a good excuse for not dusting the top of the fridge
Fucking low ceilings suck. Hope your heads okay now
My BIL is in town and we just had an outstanding dinner that was more decadent than a weekday should allow.
How’s Mac’n’cheese Jones?
Despite being in New England, he has not yet attained the status of Lobster Mac
Jus’ overseein’
Bein’ all he can
With a muthafuckin’ WHIP
In his han’
Overheard a recent hire say of a relationship with a sibling-“I’m going to take away your power to hurt me”. They did not list Facebook Post Psychology Degree on their CV.
Say what you will about the Patriots, and God knows we have, but you’ve gotta love these retro unis. Classic!
#GroaningforGrogan
Pat Patriot FTMFW
I’m a fan of Pit Pat myself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wFUyszZvPE&ab_channel=LaserTime
I’m a sucker for the throwbacks, I even dug the Steelers bumblebee unis that everyone hated
The 1930s were so fucked.
The modern non-leather yet still frighteningly ineffective helmets kinda spoil the effect
For a myriad of reasons
“If he’d have just relaxed he could have adopted a beard.”
-Rock Hudson
The Legend of White Mac’s cause? Oath Keepers Legal Defense Fund
“I prefer the Oat Keepers”
-J Elway
“It is indeed extraordinary for a warrant to be executed at the home of a former president – but not in a way that affects our legal analysis or otherwise gives the judiciary license to interfere in an ongoing investigation.”
Suck it, Cannon. No, not you, Rex.
Suck it, Cannon. Ok, fetish-wise RTD is headed into a new frontier.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIfdD191II4&ab_channel=spudtv
“Suck cannon, it, I mean me.” -Ernest H., Ketchum, ID
Bills cb is out with an oblique-is it a muscle injury or is he just being evasive?
His sideeye is waning gibbous
@Redshirt
Cousinfucker hoopsball plays Xavier tomorrow night. Given King of Tracksuit’s history with Cincy, but without any actual in-person experience of the rivalry, is this being billed as a big game in the area? I know it is in the Mountaineer fanbase. Curious what’s it like there, if anything.
Not really. XU’s rivalry is with UC, not Huggins, though the fans in attendance will give him a proper welcome.
Bill the Cat!
I’m in St. Helena in fanciest pantsed but still rual Napa county, resting my muddy boots under a bar containing lobster spring rolls. I’ve been drinking all day, with a lunchtime nap, but in a pinky extended sort of way so it’s cool. Let’s see those rougish young men gallivanting about playing their footed ball!
Were you gamboling or perambulating? DFO NEEDS TO KNOW!
Definitely perambulating, these sorts are not quite bumptious enough to gambol with
Aw man, I have a similar striped navy velour tracksuit. Should have worn it instead of my layered hoodies over farm pants and boots
Brokeback’s “Cause Cleats”:
Justice 4 WACO
Is that a Branch Davidian thing? Tim McVeigh tried that already,
I think most of the oreos in the US are made in Waco, so maybe he just wants them recongnized as a great cookie
I haven’t been on today, but…
Grandpa Weaselo passed away early this morning, in his sleep. Padre, Hermana Weaselo, and I were there at his side.
I’m sure I’ll say more Wednesday night in my usual column, as I try and figure out all the words.
Sorry to hear. RIP
Damn.
So sorry for you and your family.
RIP Grandpa Weaselo.
Clubhouse is always here for the Weaselo clan. Hang in there, amigo.
Sounds like a life well lived. My condolences.
I’m so sorry, Weaselo!
I am, however, glad that he passed away peacefully in his sleep. Probably the best way to go, I would think.
Oh no! I’m so sorry to hear this. Take care of yourself, even though it was expected,it’s still hard to lose someone you love.
Where is everybody today?
All busy touching ourselves
thbbt!
I’m sick and trying to work. Just terrible efficiency stats from me today.
Try to get laid off, it’s great!
Company is trying sell and has me on a 2 year contract with the new owner as part of the deal.
Jokes on them when they have to fire me and still pay me.
Cheers to that! I hope you get all the pay with none of the work!
Definitely not trying to give the USC Trojans food poisoning.
I was out and about. Here’s an artistic interpretation of what I looked like as I was driving home while the World Cup bananacakes was occurring and my phone kept blowing up with notifications: