Guttersnipe

The skies are angry today, my friends. And whoever is setting the thermostat is a cruel bitch. -12C (10F) was the high today and snow has been falling by the trouserload. It’s coming down so hard on me I feel like that poop cam I left in the Arby’s lavatory.

The forecast is saying -24 (-11F) tonight. Record colds all over the province. I am not one of those proud-to-be-ignorant-of-risks folks so I decided that going bowling tonight is just not worth driving through a goddamned blizzard. They can use my average, hell they can mark it zero for all I care. Call me fragile if you wish — I’m staying home and making chicken casserole.

Some folks’ desire to force themselves to work despite horrendous conditions seems to me like the result of a strange Canadian martyr complex. I’m sure my construction worker buddies were out freezing themselves solid while complaining about the wimps who called in sick today. Or they would be if they could work on frozen tundra. They can have their foolish pride. I’ve seen the way people drive, I don’t trust them any more than misspelled text messages asking for my social insurance number.

Last week, however, I did go bowling. It was a momentous day for the Fingers. Our lady lead-off bowler, getting the feel of her new ball and shoes, crushed the team record by a whole 30 points, buoyed by not one but two turkeys, one of which was a four-banger.

Unfortunately, her 194 in the opening game wasn’t enough to drag our remaining three sorry asses to victory and we dropped the opener 913-867. Having two sub-100 scores (mine was one but not the lowest, at least) is not a recipe for success in the cutthroat world of mixed bowling league play.

The other squad returned the favour in the second game, putting up a couple stinkers while we had three over 135. Our combined score was 890 and we cruised to a 60-point win.

The tiebreaker started off tight but I think my team’s sustained drinking kept us relatively focused while their mewling and high-minded (in my head) teetotaling seemed only to drive their scores down to the depths of ineptitude. We only managed 839 but still walked all over them, easily beating a 790 total.

We’re still kicking along in 6th place in the standings. Don’t seem to be gaining ground nor losing much these days. No idea what happens with playoffs or anything of that sort but we have next week off and then seemingly a never-ending streak of bowling to continue. This league is already as long as I wanted it to be but we’re only halfway through. If that! Hopefully Christmas break re-fuels the fire that burns deep inside to knock those filthy arrogant pins to the ground for good.