Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 62)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - December 30, 2016December 30, 2016

The scene: An unnamed bar in the Free and Sovereign State of Chihuahua, Mexico. Ballsofsteelandfury is sitting at a table in a dark corner, along with Covalent Blonde, Low Commander, Marc Trestmans Windowless Van and Otto's Brain. Although Otto's Brain is actually on the table rather than at it, being

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 61)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - December 23, 2016December 22, 2016

The scene: The DFO clubhouse, where the Moosemas party is in full swing. The music is loud, the Moosemas Brew is flowing freely, and the DFOers are partying hard. DTZM (at the bar): Hey, this is great! I'm glad everyone is getting a chance to unwind. WCS (also at the bar):

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 60)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - December 16, 2016December 16, 2016

The scene: Doktor Zymm's laboratory, where she is finally completing her work on Future Moose. Zymm is wearing her super-sciencey microscopic glasses and inserting a thin screwdriver into his ear while he sits up, unmoving. Man in Plaid #2's head sits on her workbench. Man in Plaid #2's Head: OK,

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 59)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - December 9, 2016December 8, 2016

The scene: Doktor Zymm's laboratory in the DFO clubhouse. Zymm has a pair of super hi-tech surgical magnifying glasses on, and is carefully working on the body of Man in Plaid #2, trying to extract one of the microscopic fusion cells that power his android form...without, say, dropping it and

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 58)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - December 2, 2016December 1, 2016

The scene: The Shop Till U Drop superstore, where the motto is,“It's cheaper to deal than steal!” The front of the store is in shambles. There's a yuuuge hole in the center of it and rubble is strewn everywhere. People are milling about. Police are on the scene, setting up

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 57)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - November 25, 2016November 24, 2016

The scene: The Door Flies Open clubhouse, where the DFOers are gathered for Thanksgiving. Beerguyrob is working the bar and chatting with King Hippo, Marc Trestmans Windowless Van and WCS, while Yeah Right, Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water and Rikki-Tikki-Deadly play video games on the big screen TV. Yeah Right:

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 56)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - November 18, 2016November 17, 2016

The scene: Future Moose's opulent (if virtual) bedchambers. Moose is there with Ballsofsteelandfury, who is in the virtual form of Future Clone Debbie Harry. Future Clone Lynda Carter is sitting on the bed, swinging a pillow and giggling. Future Moose: So you're sure the Man in Plaid is deactivated, Balls? Balls...?

It’s Here! The HRTN Poster is Here! OMG!!!

Beastmode Ate My Baby - November 14, 2016November 28, 2016

The scene: The DFO clubhouse, where Darkest Timeline Zach Morris has called a meeting. DTZM: All right, settle down, everyone. Now, I've called you all here to... Marc Trestmans Windowless Van (pulling a plastic car toy out of his box of Tootie-Frootie-O's): Whoa, man! I got a prize! OSZ: And yet another thing

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 55)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - November 11, 2016November 10, 2016

The scene: 150 million years ago. Early afternoon. Before lunch, but long enough after breakfast that you're getting peckish. You're thinking of those Diggler's Donuts in the break room, and wondering if it's worth the walk past Steve's cubicle to get one. I mean, Steve's an okay guy, but he

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 54)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - November 4, 2016November 3, 2016

The scene: Doktor Zymm's semi-secret laboratory in the DFO clubhouse. Doktor Zymm is wearing surgical magnifying glasses and working on the android body of Man in Plaid #2. She has a panel in his chest open, and is working carefully with a pair of delicate forceps, moving wires and making

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 53)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 28, 2016October 28, 2016

The scene: The Door Flies Open clubhouse, where Cookiethulhu has just pulled the Man in Plaid #2 out of his mouth in front of several semi-horrified DFOers. Well, DTZM looks horrified. As does WCS. Doktor Zymm looks strangely fascinated, Sill Bimmons is rubbing his chin and nodding solemnly and Ballsofsteelandfury

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 52)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 21, 2016October 20, 2016

A note to our loyal readers: Here at the busy offices of Hard Ride To Nowhere we're sure to read each and every piece of fan mail that comes across our desks. Over the past year the query we've most often come across is: Whatever happened to those two detectives?