Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 11, 2024 Season

King Hippo - November 18, 2024November 17, 2024

Welcome back to this week's recap of our brief hellscape respite. Stupid 8-3 split, but at least my late window boredom makes for good writing conditions. That and drugs. Noo Yawk's football Jest didn't make a first down until inside the first half's 2-minute warning. Despite this stone age start, they

16 Nov 2024 – JV NFL Thread (Part 2)

King Hippo - November 16, 2024November 14, 2024

115

Huzzah, we are back for another helping: Arizona State (+8.5) at Unded Bill Snyders (7:00, ESPN) Poor little Sparky, 7-2 and absolutely nobody is buying it. Oregon (-14) at Wisconsin (7:30, NBC) Another week, another super-extensive, prime-time turd for NBC. On top of Notre Dame playing a schedule that would make a decent high

16 Nov 2024 – JV NFL Thread (Part 1)

King Hippo - November 16, 2024November 14, 2024

114

No EPL this morning, international break. Here is your lukewarm tofu-based menu for today: Steerfuckers South (-13.5) at Pig Sooey (Noon, ABC) I can't figure the Hawgs out, but here's hoping they make a better showing today than I expect. Team Secular Big Love (+11.5) at Colorado (Noon, Fox) Utes keep coming up short,

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 10, 2024 Season

King Hippo - November 11, 2024November 10, 2024

119

Hippo is of two minds. There is nothing left in our world worth fighting for. Small-l liberal democracy is dead andburied, or at least with extreme gangrene that can't even start clearing up for 20+ years. Either way, I won't live to see anything improve. But this is our last football

Night of Eternal Darkness JV Thread

King Hippo - November 9, 2024November 6, 2024

140

Fuck off, humanity. Also, STILL none of us deserve cheerleader pics. Alabama (-3) at LSU (7:30, ABC) Playoff elimination game, and the type of fixture where Brian Kelly tends to step on a rake. Washington (+13) at Paedo State (8:00, Peacock) Be nice if tOSU would beat these jackasses for the 2nd straight week,

Guess I Will Keep Doing These – 9 Nov JV Preview

King Hippo - November 9, 2024November 8, 2024

128

Fuck off, humanity. Also the Prem is currently ded to me (but here is the link to the schedule). Also, none of us deserve cheerleader pics. Florida (+21.5) at Texas (Noon, ABC) Fuck both of these states and the vast majority of their residents. This window is horrific, though. Fitting. West By God

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 9, 2024

Reflections

King Hippo - November 4, 2024November 3, 2024

127

Holy cats, there was SO MUCH FITBAW. At least it felt that way to my poor, leaky brain. Like the Greatest Living American reminded us, after today we've gone halfway through the regular season. Anticipatory depression can go ahead and start blueprints, at least. The banner pic is because all

Evening of Nothingness Open Thread

King Hippo - November 2, 2024November 1, 2024

103

Hey, if you thought Dayime Slate was rough, wait until you see what Satan's got cooking LATE! Bonfire Cult (-3) at South Cakalaky (7:30, ABC) I'm a little surprised A&M is favoUred here. Does one REALLY trust them in a nighttime road fixture, against a mid-level SEC opponent? I sure doesn't. Troi Boiz

November 2024 Spawned – Weak Footy Slate

King Hippo - November 2, 2024November 1, 2024

190

THREE SHORT DAYS before the possible self-implosion of American society as we know/love/tolerate it. And we can't even get a full, distracting slate of fixtures. OK, Barcodes and Gooners to start (8:30, USA) ain't too bad. But then USA shows...Sham Town and Everton?? (11:00). Even HIPPO won't enjoy watching that car

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 8, 2024 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - October 28, 2024October 27, 2024

Welcome to Week 8 action, no byes. Don't forget to buy Halloween candy, then buy MOAR when you eat the first batch. You disgusting, fat pig. Cincy went with the "White Tiger" kit this week, and the vast majority of the home support decided to join in. Depending on one's perspective, it

Footy Footy Everywhere – The Aforementioned Second Part

King Hippo - October 26, 2024October 24, 2024

106

Slap yourself in the face, pour MOAR coffee down your gullet - we gots MOAR FITBAW!!! West By God Virginia (+3.5) at Arizona - 7:00 (FS1) Look, I said MOAR - not GOOD. Winner keeps its season alive(ish). Clubhouse Derby, at least (WCS v. Blax, if y'all is new and/or slow).. Paedo State

Footy Footy Everywhere – A Discussion in Two Parts

King Hippo - October 26, 2024October 24, 2024

136

Do you like footed ball? Boy howdy, then does I ever gots GOOD NEWS for you! (I mean, other than the lack of our beloved Early Bird Special this week. That kinda blows goats.) USA choo-choo-chooses Villa/Cherries for the 10:00 broadcast. Are the Villans becoming a media darling? Oy yes, they are.