Learning to (Re-)Love the Prem

King Hippo - February 28, 2026February 28, 2026

127

Look, FFS. It's what we GOT, so we might as well make the best of it. King's Afrikan Water Pistols regained their mojo, at least for the North London Derby. Handsome Mikel's men get another, even bitterer rival this week (Chelski on Sunday, 11:30 (Peacock)), so maybe their blood stays up. Unless

An Embarrassment of Post-Season Ramblings (A Downfield Matriculator Jam)

King Hippo - February 21, 2026February 21, 2026

Have you been missing FITBAW?? I sure 'nuff have. Thankfully, our imaginary pal Downfield Matriculator has submitted the following for our great enjoyment... Of course you all know that certain groups of animals get odd/cool names – a murder of crows, gaggle of geese or school of fish. And there are

In the Land of Nothingness, Nothing is King

Fuck You America

King Hippo - February 14, 2026February 14, 2026

139

That's right, we don't even have any EPL fun this weekend. Since Newly Disappointing Everton are out of the FA Cup (i.e., now a "Mickey Mouse" cup, in footy parlance), I could be arsed about that (check ESPN+ in case you get uber-bored, though). Might as well recap recent events, though. City of

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Superb Owl, 2025 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - February 9, 2026February 9, 2026

Don't let the Very Silly Q4 fool you - this was a defensive battle, with great strategy and even better execution (especially by SEA). The truest of slobberknockers. It was not a thing of beauty, perhaps. But as a neutral, I really enjoyed it. Defensing was the name of the

2Pack’s Random Cortina-Milano 2026 Winter Olympic Games Thoughts and Relevant Recollections

King Hippo - February 7, 2026February 7, 2026

176

Hippo and Other Hippo are saving their pithiness FOAR Monday's Owl in review. Fortunately, 2pack chipped in with the following, epic Olympics post. Without further ado... *** Ciao Tutti. As a filler contribution to the Clubhouse while we await the Owl and dark times without No Fun League games for seven months,

A Title Race After All?

King Hippo - January 31, 2026

Because apparently I like being wrong/stupid, I have insisted for months on end thta the King's Afrikan Water Pistols would run away and hide with the Prem this season. Blink a few times, look up, and whaddya know? Both City of Men AND Villa are within 4 points. Last week's home loss to

Hippo Micro-Thoughts

Reflections

King Hippo - January 26, 2026January 26, 2026

I mean, at least the Donks-land blizzard was pretty? Total margin was 7, but clearly the two best teams moved on. So, congrats to the P*ts and SeaTruthers. But also? Go fuck yourselves. We now return you to intermittent technical difficulties.

Quarter-Arsed Hippo Thoughts – Divisional Round, 2025 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - January 19, 2026January 19, 2026

Writing this at 8p, figure someone will force the thing to post in the morning. I'm just not particularly arsed. Not that we had a BAD weekend of FITBAW by any means, just that my malaise has started taking over. As is Hippo's nature. YES, I am finally starting to feel bummed

Instant-ish Hippo Thoughts – Wild Card Round, 2025 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - January 12, 2026January 12, 2026

No scheduler means I wait to type this whenever I get up and feel almost sentient. Hippo apologizes for the inconvenience. Macro-level, I am content. The games were compettive (except the 2nd half of P*ts/Clips, which I didn't watch anyway) and played at a very high level (similar qualifier for P*ts/Clips).

Instant Hippo Thoughts – End Week, 2025 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - January 5, 2026January 5, 2026

Fuck a duck, we've made it all the way through Season del Regular. We now can look forward to (i) the best 3 weeks in any sportsball enthusiast's life; followed by (ii) month after month of withdrawals and crippling depression. Shout out to Scott Muthafuckin' Hanson, our always professional and