CLASSIC Masterpiece Theatre (Rikki’s 50 Shades of Gravy)

Open Threads

King Hippo - May 22, 2025May 22, 2025

In honoUr of MISTER Irsay (since we's not friends) passing into that Great Pill Bottle in the Sky, DFO brings you this fine, almost 10-years aged vintage blend. Reality or fantasy? YOU DECIDE. ---------------------------- The first thing I notice about Mr. Irsay’s office is the smell; leather, stale human sweat, spilled beer.

Rebecc-ur’s Big Day – FA Cup Finale Open Thread

King Hippo - May 17, 2025May 16, 2025

Not much happening today, other than the City of Men taking on Crystal Palace (11:30, ESPN+) for the 2024-25 FA Cup gloUry. As Fronk once helpfully reminded me, the Murrikan face of the Premier League (NBC studio host Rebecc-ur Lowe) is a Palace supporter. Backing that up, she penned a nice

Lesser Playoffs and Other Footed Ball Matters

King Hippo - May 10, 2025May 9, 2025

103

Inter Milan get the banner pic, thanks to their Meastly performance at midweek. No shame on Barca (except the club President's bitchy attitude afterwards), that was just as good as The Footy ever gets. God, I hope they beat PSG. Narrator - They would NOT beat PSG. As the stakes-less Prem schedule

HonoUring the Ice Bombers – a MNF Carpentering

King Hippo - May 5, 2025May 5, 2025

100

Something pretty amazing happened last night. I wasn't watching, but full credit to Litre for not giving up and rage quitting the proceedings. Down 3-1, the sleepwalking Ice Bombers pulled their goalie. I can't recall the last time I ever saw this result in two goals in the last 90

May – Lesser Footy, Greater Boredom

Fuck You America

King Hippo - May 3, 2025May 2, 2025

124

At least the Barca/Inter Shempions matchup has been bonkers and captivating. I can recall stanning for Denzel Dumfries in a "which right back should Everton target" years ago (and was accused of being a dope), so I feel vindicated as fook. But on the weekend? There's fuck shit to do. Realistically,

Competitive Dart Tossing* – NFL Draft Day Three Thread

Fuck You America

King Hippo - April 26, 2025April 25, 2025

139

There is also various Lesser Footy, but Hippo likely be the only fool deliberately waking up at 7:30 EST for Chelski/Toffees (USA). It's all about sucking the Redshite's collective cock, and I ain't got no time for that nonsense. But really, it's Rounds 4-7 of the Draft. Assuming I stay awake

Pre-Draft Saturday Meanderings

King Hippo - April 19, 2025April 18, 2025

As Horatio mentioned earlier this week, I too have pretty much no thoughts on the 2025 Draft. Is it because the QBs are so shite, at least in top-end potential (it is, however, a GREAT market for those seeking cheap QB2s)? Is it the oppressive gloom of liberal democracy's death

Very Meaningless Footy Saturday Thread

King Hippo - April 12, 2025April 11, 2025

Look. My cracker ass ain't gonna try to bullshit you. That cracker of a second half King's Afrikan Water Pistols unloaded on the Real Cuntfaces? That's as good as it's going to get. Also probably the last real bit of drama and entertainment we are getting until September. So sit back and enjoy

A Farewell To (the) Broom – Thread of HonoUr

Fuck You America

King Hippo - April 5, 2025April 4, 2025

142

The uncomfortable wait is over - Kevin the Broom has announced that he will depart City of Men. Turns out, even he can't overcome a major hamstring injury in his mid-30s. From a big picture standpoint, example 1,000,000 of what happens when squad age tips over the continental shelf. Much,

Flacco Eight Weekend

King Hippo - March 29, 2025March 28, 2025

107

Do you like chalk? Mister Elite sez it better be unflavoUred. I deffo picked the chalkiest bracket I can remember, yet it's STILL not chalky enough to get out of the mucky middle in the DFO pool. 3W Guns Up!! (+6.5) v. 1W Florida (6:09, TBS) This is the only Sabado fixture worth