Purdy Crazy Out There: 2024 San Francisco 49ers Season Preview (and Open Thread)

2023 PREDICTION: None. Which is probably good since I would have fallen short of the 2023 REALITY:  12-5; lost the Super Bowl in a thrilling overtime display to Taylor Swift The 2023 season was about as good as it gets for the Niners, sans the ring. In games where they were trying,

Like Tears In Rain: 2024 Buffalo Bills Preview

2023 PREDICTION: "12-5, tied for AFC East crown. As always, the injury factor will be dispositive, but we have reason for Hope." 2023 REALITY: 11-6, winning the AFC East, disposing of the Steelers and running face-first into the Taylor Swift Buzzsaw. It was a Tale of Two Seasons for the 2023 Bills,

The One-Eyed Man is King: 2024 Tampa Bay Buccaneers Season Preview (and Open Thread)

2023 PREDICTION: 4-13 2023 REALITY:  9-8; not good, but good enough for the NFC South title The 2023 season was a good one for the Bucs, mediocre record in a trash division notwithstanding. They exceeded expectations. This was down to two (and only two) factors: Baker Mayfield emerged from his cocoon as

Meet The New Boss, Same As The Old Boss: 2024 Carolina Panthers Season Preview

2023 PREDICTION: Bad (6-11) 2023 REALITY: Worse (2-15) Truly a testament to the power of the human will, these Panthers. "Parity" has been the battle cry of the league since the salary cap was introduced in 1994. "Offense Über Alles" has been the official NFL religion almost as long. And yet the Panthers

Poles: Tuesday Open Thread

That's right, today we celebrate poles of all persuasions: beanpoles, foulpoles, magnetic poles, fishing poles, Warsaw Poles and even (shockingly) Ryan Poles. But not William de la Pole, you dumb late-medieval bastard. -First, the most surprising one: Ryan Poles. Rating a team's off-season during training camp is only slightly stupider than

Achieving Transcendent Grace Through Mindless Violence: A Larry King Not Live Tuesday Open Thread

Hello, friends, Larry King here. I know it has been some time since we were on the air; I was otherwise occupied with my new spouse. That's right; Cupid struck me with his arrow once again, even through the heavy-gauge aluminum sidewalls of my cryogenic storage pod. So I am

Signs AND Portents? In This Economy?!?: Tuesday Open Thread

Congratulations to the Florida Panthers. You have placed another nail in the coffin that is The Natural Order. We've covered many times how the Modern Captialist Corporatocracy is not satisfied by mere excellence, but demands infinite growth. Unchecked growth is also one of the definitional characteristics of cancer. Extending the metaphor,