Everton are Freeeeeee(dkin)! and Other FITBAW Matters

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King Hippo - December 21, 2024December 19, 2024

142

So much going on in sportsball. Uncle Teddy takes a one-Saturday ciggy break, to celebrate ball-gargling, money-laundering, fuckhead fraud Fahrad Moshiri finally OUT of my beloved club. There is no way The Friedkin Group can be any worse, despite being American-led. FUN FACT! If Dyche gets sacked in the morning agter

BOTG Seems Very Likely – Sign-Up Sheet Nightly Thread

King Hippo - June 11, 2022June 11, 2022

152

No, this isn't like signing up for one's week in the barrel. I am not much of a planner, but I wanted to take the group's temperature overall. Where: Baltimore, MD When: Friday, 15 July through Sunday, 17 July Why: Frank Lampard's Everton v. King's Afrikan Water Pistols (7p Saturday, 16 July, whatever the

BOTG Opportunity? Frank Lampard’s Everton in the Charm CIty

King Hippo - June 11, 2022June 10, 2022

As you all know, I really hate leaving the house. But the thought of an international flight REALLY seems like a dealbreaker to this modern recluse. As such, 16 July in glorious Baltimore is likely my only chance to see Frank Lampard's Everton. Perhaps some of the Clubhouse Gooners would join

God Bless Super Frank Lampard

King Hippo - May 21, 2022May 20, 2022

I don't know what Lampard told his Very Disappointing Everton charges at the half. I just know it WORKED, even though I had succumbed to despair and turned the telly off. Survival. Somehow, someway...the Blues avoided the drop and have a fighting chance to rebuild. Frank Lampard is the right man to

Welcome to Hippo’s Nightmare Live Blogging

King Hippo - April 6, 2022April 6, 2022

As you may have heard, Everton are in a scrap for their very survival. Our heart, soul, and pride have already been rendered like so much hog fat. There is but one thing left, surviving the death blow. No matches look larger than "crucial relegation six-pointer" away to Burnley. Most Bitter

All Hail Tory C–t Frank Lampard!!

King Hippo - January 29, 2022January 28, 2022

You may remember Hippo (and/or Other Hippo) saying things like: Not all Tories are cunts, and not all cunts are Tories. But Frank Lampard is a Tory Cunt. Well, fuck it. Now he's OUR Tory Cunt, and I welcome him to Merseyside, without reservation. You see, when you endure 6 months of

Still Reveling In Post-Derby Bliss

King Hippo - February 27, 2021February 26, 2021

144

Jurgen Klopp is a whingy baby-man, and his tears bring joy to the masses. I may never live to see another day that blissful, so I'mma wallow like a pig in shit. But, time marches on. We have a straight quadrupleheader today, so let's dig in. First, Fronk's Hammers invade the Etihad

Update From Unabomber Shack Open Thread

King Hippo - April 11, 2020April 11, 2020

142

I am not writing any damned manifesto (who the fuck would read it?) but my descent into Quarantine Madness continues unabated. We are now in simulated Season Three of the Bernard Gilkey era leading Everton Football Club. First, we finished our usual, solid 8th. I had to spend most of my

Don Carlo Fawning Boxing Day Open Thread

King Hippo - December 26, 2019December 25, 2019

127

Oh my LAWD, they's a bunch of Lesser Footy going down. Who says the Day After Christmas is depressing? I don't have to work, and we get a de facto Second Lesser Saturday. I'll fookin' take it, like. Spurs and Brighton kick us off bright and early (yes, I set my

Benvenuto Don Carlo! Lesser Footy (and Early NFL Special) Open Thread

King Hippo - December 21, 2019December 21, 2019

256

Oh my cats, y'all. Cue Ron Paul, because It's Happening! Mikel Arteta (who may be on the touchline this am for the Gooners) thinks he's too good to manage Everton. But not Italian coaching legend Carlo Ancelotti (i.e., Don Carlo). He will make his managerial debut on Boxing Day, but

Get Well Andre Gomes – 9 November 2019 Lesser Footy Open Thread

King Hippo - November 9, 2019November 8, 2019

323

No doubt by now, you've heard a bit about the above-pictured handsome devil (sorry about the lack of Bama/Bayou Bengals cheerleaders, you'll live). Enough to know NOT to Google the horrific injury he suffered, resulting from a snidey (but not malicious) Son Heung-min tackle. All the human emotion and forgiveness talk

What’s In a Name? Edition – 19 Oct Lesser Footy/JV NFL Bonanza

King Hippo - October 19, 2019October 18, 2019

154

This past Thursday, I had my "every 5 weeks" haircut, rescheduled to 1:30. I arrived before my stylist was back from lunch (fuck you, what kind of Philistine DOESN'T use a stylist??), so I walked around the corner to get a libation (as I am back off solid food). As