Smoking Hot Microphone

INTERIOR - FOX SPORTS BROADCASTING STUDIOS - LOS ANGELES, CA [A pair of well dressed men sit around a broadcast studio's control room, watching sports highlights on various screens] GEORGE GREENBERG: Look, Joe, we have to keep up with the times. CBS has finally done the smart thing for once by canning Simms

Bye Bye Beary

Los Osos de Chicago entered their week 9 bye week with a DAZZLING record of 2-6, good for last place in the division and an earlier than usual bout of "should they tank the rest of the season or not" debate. Just like last year, this team is TERRIBLE without

To Bear Down or Not To Bear Down

That is the question. At the risk of stating the obvious, football is awesome. The hitting, the strategy, the fresh grass underfoot as your team of choice takes the field in that late summer warmth--they all fill you with excitement, anticipation, and joy. Yet there is a key ingredient required to

An American Football Fan in Paris

As many DFOers/Kommentists/DFOoses/whatevers know, our own Old School Zero is currently training for a cheese eating/surrendering contest by exploring France from the tip of her Eiffel Tower to the taint of her Larzac Valley. 'Twasn't shortly after arriving in Paris that he intrepidly snapped this photo: Since he didn't get a

The Devil’s Advo-CAT

[INT. OFFICE, DAYTIME] TONY DUNGY: [reading newspaper] Blasphemy! Sacrilege! This shall not stand! [DOOR FLIES OPEN] JAY CUTLER: [groans] Oh Jesus. I should have known. TONY: Jay, thank you for coming. Have a seat. JAY: Goodell made me. Said I had to come here and do an interview or he'd fine me. TONY: As you know,