Moosemas in Hell (Part One)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - December 1, 2017November 30, 2017

The scene: Hell. It's a vast, wasted landscape where the screams of the damned echo throughout the burning plains and jagged mountains. The sky itself is smoke and fire and one can only look upon the devastation and know the bleak feeling of despair. So really, it's a lot like Detroit. The

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 101)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - November 24, 2017November 22, 2017

The scene: The Secret Island of Doktor Zymm! Specifically, the rec room, where it's beginning to look a lot like Moosemas. Marc Trestmans Windowless Van is on a ladder, hanging up orange and blue tinsel and... What? Oh, yeah. The base has a rec room. It's pretty cool. 120-inch projection TV,

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 100)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - November 17, 2017November 17, 2017

The scene: The parking lot of the Iguana Mart in the future. Like, waaaay in the future, man. There's currently a one-sided firefight going on, as an enraged blue-skinned sexually-ambiguous bartender is shooting at several DFOers with a Multi-Use Explosive Rocket Tracking-Enhanced system. The DFOers, for their part, are hiding

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 99)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - November 10, 2017November 9, 2017

The scene: The Secret Island of Doktor Zymm! Specifically, the lab where Doktor Zymm is trying to resurrect Yolanda the vampire from her current state. Which is basically dust and ash. The lab is filled with bubbling chemicals, test tubes, beakers...all that science-y stuff. Doktor Zymm is pouring the last

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 98)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - November 3, 2017November 2, 2017

The scene: The Deadly Jungle on the Secret Island of Doktor Zymm! A pair of crabmen, having escaped the lab (and an angry Fozz) are making their way through the foliage. King Crabman: Gbt tvu mk. [Well, that was certainly a setback.] Crabman #1: Mk! Tku vk gtgt! [A setback? We

HRTN Horror Double-Feature!

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 27, 2017October 26, 2017

The scene: An abandoned cabin in the woods, where Angry Girl Scout has brought Unsurprised, Litre Cola and the Maestro, in order to sacrifice them to her dark master in return for unimaginable power. At the moment, the three are tied up and leaning against the couch. Each of them

HRTN Horror Double Feature!

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 20, 2017October 19, 2017

That last film was pretty...weird. It must have been one of those European horror films that don't make as much sense in English. Or maybe it was Mexican. There was a masked wrestler in it, after all. And you're pretty sure it was dubbed. Whatever it was, though, it sure

HRTN Horror Double-Feature

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 13, 2017October 12, 2017

Holy cow! That was intense! Like, that Moose guy found these cannibals trying to eat this brain guy, and then this old cannibal lady showed up and hacked him real good with a big ol' axe! There's popcorn all over the car now...you feel a little sheepish about getting so

HRTN Horror Double-Feature!

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 6, 2017October 4, 2017

How you managed to get a date with Debbi Jo Sopinsky is still a minor miracle, but you did! And now here you are, sitting at the Vista Vue drive-in, waiting for the double-feature to start. It's going to go a lot better than your last date. I mean, it

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 97)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 29, 2017September 28, 2017

The scene: The Iguana Mart of the Future! While the rest of the DFO has been up to their ears in trouble, Low Commander has been gathering up supplies and is now in a checkout line with a yuuuge cart full of future-stuff. Warblefunk is playing over the sound system.

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 96)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 22, 2017September 21, 2017

The scene: The future! A time centuries from now, when mankind has survived countless wars, disasters and Zymm-related incidents to...well, maybe not thrive, exactly. I mean, it's more like mankind is still kicking around on a planet that's become pretty darn weird. Until recently Emperor Moose ruled with an iron

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 95)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 15, 2017September 15, 2017

The scene: The Secret Base on the Island of Doktor Zymm! Ballsofsteelandfury is walking down the hallway with Moosemas Gorilla, Jerry and BFC. BFC: We appreciate the tour! This place is yuuuge! Ballsofsteelandfury: No problem. I figured you guys should know your way around a bit. Jerry (walking toward a door): Hey,