Coach Carroll’s Weird Mysteries: The Somerton Man

The Maestro - February 15, 2018February 15, 2018

Olympics, Olympics, Olympics. Looks like it's cold as shit in Korea right now. After months of cloud and fog and dampness in the Pacific Northwest, I'm not about to go gallivanting over to Asia right now to ask the Chinese what they know about 9/11. I need to warm up

Coach Carroll’s Weird Mysteries: The Stone Balls of Costa Rica

The Maestro - February 8, 2018February 15, 2018

Hi folks - I know a lot of you plan on watching the Super Bowl this weekend (well, perhaps maybe not a number of the denizens of this website) - I know it may sound sacrilegious to say this, especially as a highly regarded NFL coach, but instead of crunching

Coach Carroll’s Weird Mysteries: The Chinese Village of Dwarfs

The Maestro - February 1, 2018February 15, 2018

This is Coach Carroll, checking in. Oh man, have I got a weird one for you this week. So, to give this some context - the Seahawks, being a team from the Pacific Northwest, have a large number of fans who are of the Asian persuasion... so the team figured

Coach Carroll’s Weird Mysteries: The Hessdalen Lights

The Maestro - January 25, 2018February 15, 2018

Hi all - Coach Carroll, reporting in. Gotta say, I was pretty cheesed, just like many of you were, about the President's comments on immigration the other week. Pretty awful stuff to say, you know. And why Norway? Why there, of all places? It's a pretty cool spot, from what

Coach Carroll’s Weird Mysteries: The Big Grey Man of Ben MacDhui

The Maestro - January 18, 2018February 15, 2018

Hello all - Coach Carroll here once again, reporting in with my weekly log. I was extremely excited to hear that the league listened to my request to have the Seahawks play in London this upcoming season; while the game against the Raiders is a great challenge for our team,

Coach Carroll’s Weird Mysteries: The Shag Harbour UFO Incident

The Maestro - January 11, 2018February 15, 2018

Good morning, everyone - Coach Carroll here checking in. I've just returned from a fact-finding mission from our northern neighbours, and I dunno if it's the red-eye flight or the mescaline talking right now, but damn, is this week's entry into the log a strange one. Let's take a look

Coach Carroll’s Weird Mysteries: The Dyatlov Pass Incident

The Maestro - January 4, 2018February 15, 2018

Hi, I'm Head Coach Pete Carroll of the Seattle Seahawks! There's no question that football is the most important part of my life, but ever since 9/11, many of you know I've become very political, in the quest to uncover the truth about what really happened that day. While I'm of

CFL Beat: Your 2017 Season Wrap-Up

The Maestro - November 30, 2017November 30, 2017

I know that this column revolves around Canada and a whole variety of Canadian things, which for a number of you, might seem like excessive jingoism, and I understand that sentiment. Oddly enough, after experiencing my first-ever Grey Cup live in the flesh, I can now safely say that apparently

CFL Beat: Playoffs – Grey Cup

The Maestro - November 23, 2017November 22, 2017

DIVISION FINAL RECAPS East Division Final Saskatchewan 21 vs. Toronto 25: Despite surrendering a first half 18-3 lead, Toronto is off to their first Grey Cup game since 2012, where they won Canada's top football prize playing at home at the Rogers Centre. It was a full-team effort on this one, though when

CFL Beat: Playoffs – Division Finals

The Maestro - November 16, 2017November 21, 2017

Just three CFL games remain in the 2017 calendar year - the two division finals, and the Grey Cup. We already know we'll have one new team appearing in the championship matchup this season - after back-to-back appearances in 2015 and 2016, the Ottawa REDBLACKS have ended their year unceremoniously.

Bye Week Update: New England Patriots

The Maestro - November 10, 2017November 7, 2017

Week 10 is upon us imminently, and the New England Patriots are, once again, atop the AFC East Division, with a 6-2 record. FACK THEM, THOSE FACKIN' QUEEAHS I CAN'T BELIEVE I CHEEAHD FOAH THIS FACKIN' TEAM, EVAH Wait -- Tawmmy -- why are you upset, exactly? I feel like considering the questionable

CFL Beat: Playoffs – Division Semifinals

The Maestro - November 9, 2017November 21, 2017

Playoff football is here at last! Thanks to the final games of the regular season, we now know that Toronto has clinched the East Division, while Saskatchewan will travel to face the REDBLACKS in the playoffs as the crossover team this season. Just a reminder: due to the CFL playoff