Your “Late Sunday Game, Yes You Have to Watch” NFL-ish SNF Open Thread

How's THAT for a freaking title?  Short....sort of.  To the point....mostly.  I was pretty impressed. Apparently I was the only one.  OK. How'd I end up here tonight, typey typey-ing?  Waxing neither syphilitic.....errrrrr philosophic, nor poetic...bcuz I iz stupid n junk....but like seriously, how'd I end up here? SCOTCHNAUT!!!!!!!!!!! Yup....you already knew the answer. 

CrimeBeat!: Thirty Days in the Hole Edition

No time for love, Dr. Jones- let's get right down to it. BRING FORTH THE ACCUSED! PRESEASON MVPs CHARGE: Breach of promise OMG YOU GUYS DID YOU SEE DAK PRESCOTT! START HIM NOW! FUTURE EM VEE PEE! HOW BOUT THEM COWBOYS! GGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! /passes out, loses bladder control. Oh yes, boys and girls, it's that time