Wait, Is Johnny Really Dead????

Wait, this first story seems very familiar.

http://www.freep.com/story/life/advice/2015/07/04/amy-dickinson-toxic-relationship/29637387/

This story is TEARING ME APART.

Dear Amy: I have a serious problem with my future wife. She has not been faithful to me.

I recently overheard her talking to her friend about how she was unfaithful to me. When I confronted her, all that she said was that she couldn’t talk right now. I feel like I have to record everything in my own house just to learn the truth.

To make things even more stressful is the fact that she recently told a couple of people that I hit her, but it’s not true. I did not hit her. I’m not sure why she has been acting like this lately. She did just find out that her mother has breast cancer, and that might be playing a role in her behavior.

We still always find time to make love, so I don’t know why she would go out seeking it from someone else. I just can’t believe she would do this to me. I love her so much, she is my everything, and I don’t know that I could go on without her. She is tearing me apart.

What should I do? — Devastated

Was this an excuse to post The Room shit?  YES IT WAS SHUT UP

Anyhoo, this gentleman is a hero, or (SPOILER for a movie you should have seen already) Johnny’s ghost typing from BEYOND THE GRAVE

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris
DTZM escaped his dark timeline through a wormhole created by Lord Screech, after he destroyed Bayside for never allowing him to mate with Lisa Turtle. Zach now lives a quiet life in St. Louis with his wife, Darkest Timeline Kelly Kapowski. They have no children, but do have the world's cutest dogs.
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Horatio Cornblower

I hope he writes in next week about how they keep taking all his ideas at the bank and using them to make lots of money and then not promoting him.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I predict that Mr. Robot will be cancelled this season. Why you may ask. Well I really like the show and the fucked up characters. That plus Christian Slater.

http://40.media.tumblr.com/dcf3e35dc410d42f4f2a34b53c81be79/tumblr_np7x5x1bLt1rvkcx4o1_500.jpg

Sep

I’m just here to say hai to the doggy.

makeitsnowondem

Clearly an imposter. The real Johnny would have signed “Fed Up With This World.”

Old School Zero

He also left out the part about how she doesn’t even know the first thing about making a goddamn cocktail.

makeitsnowondem

Hey man, I like scotchka.

scotchnaut

Dawwww! Yer making me blush…

ballsofsteelandfury

Scotchy!!! Welcome!

King Hippo

Start organizing that Northern Ontario meetup. I for one would be up for that.

ballsofsteelandfury

I really need to see The Room to understand this. I’m a bad person and I should feel bad.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We should go see a screening here in L.A. sometime.

VonTazeMeBro

Did you Californias ever have your meet up?

ballsofsteelandfury

This Saturday the 11th!

ballsofsteelandfury

Sounds good! Let’s schedule it.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I haven’t either. We can start a support group!

Old School Zero

I was hoping you’d post on this as soon as I saw it!

The comments in the gawker article were hilarious.

So, anyway, how’s your sex life?

makeitsnowondem

I definitely have breast cancer.

Horatio Cornblower

Don’t worry about it.