“…will wake up one morning, realize he’s a piece of shit…”
“…more or less straight man…”
“…smells like a Moroccan spice market…”
“…lightly sniffling in foetal position in empty bathtub.”
“…and shows no desire to do anything about it, with technology or otherwise.”
“…already sick of me after 15 years…”
“…can go bonkers at times, even if you don’t understand what they’re talking about.”
“…in sisyphean frustration, we will think back to that super sexy 1985…”
“At that point, I went to bed.”
“…he ‘came out of the closet’…”
“…makes you want to smother him in fire ants.”
“Experiment! The world is not a scary place.”
“…laid him the fuck out.”
“…good for such a short period of time…”
“…was way out of his league, but somehow banged him for two months and gave him unrealistic expectations for the rest of his life.”
http://33.media.tumblr.com/df2bceeb2ca452f1db2876c1193beedd/tumblr_nqggvgvo6a1r1qffbo4_250.gif
http://40.media.tumblr.com/a9251cc79fe39462830857a401f893ee/tumblr_nqb4xmiQGA1qcecwvo1_1280.jpg
I actually had fun reading all these snippets as if we had to guess who they were about.
I came up with Rex Ryan,mostly because Rex Ryan.
An Image From Inside That Particularly Heated Marriage Counseling Session
This comment features original art by make it snow.
“…was way out of his league, but somehow banged him for two months and gave him unrealistic expectations for the rest of his life.”
What the hell was this from? I definitely need some context on this.
I was just thinking that myself. Poor bastard.
I believe it was in last night’s Englishman post.
That was my description of what the 1985 Bears are to the typical Bears fan, thank you very much.
Bears preview.
All,
Our beloved Ape is writing again!
http://www.sportsonearth.com/article/142323316/guide-to-nfl-new-on-field-fight-rules-fines
Wow. Did you see the last comment on that article? PFTCommenter lives!
Worst “professional” sport in America. Glad I gave up watching this BS five years ago! Growing up in the TRUE golden age of the real NFL (the 1970s) I can’t believe how money has transformed this once hardcore, blue collar sport into a PC microcosm of itself. But the enablers keep tuning in.
Way too much spelling, not enough telling if you ask me.
No dick jokes? Giant “Sponsored By” ad in the middle of the article?
Dear god, Uproxx has it’s final revenge on Ape…
Why am I having a hell of a time finding new posts?
Are you logged in?
Cleared my cache…
Maybe you’re reading the print version.
“…lightly sniffling in foetal position in empty bathtub.”
It’s like you have cameras in my house. Wait…do you?
NO, WE MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT.
Btw, that picture is hung on your wall a little crooked, and I think the cat wants out.
I find myself instinctively drawn to, “…and shows no desire to do anything about it, with technology or otherwise.” I find the range of possibilities in which that could reference fascinating!!!
Agreed, I feel like that one is the pick of the litter here.
Was that part of the Hitachi discussion?
Heh, no that was my ranting about the EPL powers-that-be turning a blind eye to the WWF-caliber officiating.
Honestly, from my perspective, everything is an Hitachi discussion.
I think the cordless vs. cord discussion could be as contentious as the Girl Scout Cookie debacle.
Oh, gotta go cordless. Otherwise the cord gets wrapped around thin….Aaaaaaand I’ve said too much.
But you sacrifice power, output, and longevity! Generally, one is not moving about from the garage to great room to the cellar whilst in use. Perhaps I am too sedentary….
I have a set of these; with the Wand’s power consumption and the shear danger of running the battery down at the wrong time, I’m thinking these easily replaceable ones with lots of power would be the acceptable design.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gccxd7ClZ2A/UEb8yJyTlTI/AAAAAAAAABE/yTWNl37m9IM/s1600/DEWALT+DC720KA+Cordless+18-Volt.jpg
I gotta go with Covalent. Cord gives you consistent power output. Plus, there are such things as extension cords.
The first time I encountered a cord was quite the eye-opener. I had been around some battery operated cordless devices and the first thing I thought when she broke out the cord was “Holy Jesus! She’s using power tools!”
I was only frightened for a brief moment.
They’re making sentient real dolls now?
Sweeeeeeet, uh for a friend…
/backs slowly out of the room
I had a very similar reaction, but then I saw how well it worked and I was a fan.
Oh, I saw that video too.
http://36.media.tumblr.com/6fac523a2ea24b63ed719e835b968855/tumblr_mkw7e7y9nR1s15i6no1_1280.jpg
The Moroccan spice market comment was during one of the more “tender” moments.
All he wanted was a little rub.
That one reminded me of someone. I may have said too much.
Is this another one of those jungle gym-massage parlor combos you and Yeah Right were so kind as to teach me of their existence?
I am still super curious about that!
Actually no. it was this girl I knew.
But “jungle gym-massage parlor combos” needs to be on the next version of this post!
As well you should.
I’m older; my balls hang too low now to in danger at the local jungle gym-massage parlor combo.
And all this time I thought I was just giving recipes.
In reality those places smell like massage oil and incense so not too far off!
Me too, but mine was more like “Just arrived in Marrakesh after a month on a camel.”