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Hard Knocks with the Houston Texans, wait, who?
I say JJ Watt does something to piss most of you off within five minutes. Also, Vince Wilfork barbecues something.
Also, this is to remind you I have HBO and are therefore better than you, serf.
Hard Knocks: JJ Watt’s Humblebrags Open Thread
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Anyone still up?
I fell asleep and woke back up, does that count?
Speaking of odd juxtapositions; THIS IS ON A MOTORBOAT!
http://www.barnorama.com/wp-content/images/2012/03/bouncing-boobs/16-bouncing-boobs.gif
You know the girl on the left secretly hates Ms. Bouncy.
I got yer hard knocks RIGHT HERE!
Ohs, thought you said ‘nice knockers.’
Jesus, that bra is working overtime.
There is a video of the whole ride; I believe the bra fails in the mission of containment.
That is awesome.
This season of Hard Knocks is proof that, once DFO is fully operational, we can move forward on establishing Golden League Football.
FOR PROFIT!!
Seriously a funny FJM-style takedown of this lunatic’s Craigslist desperation plea for personal photographs of women’s breasts.
Go read it.
I hope they at least directed the poor bastard to r/gonewild at the end of it.
I’m at a loss here; can anyone predict what will happen in the video that this gif was capped from? Could be they are just roommates.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/e64afd301d54dcc9a7898653d65b49aa/tumblr_nsy56dB0W01tauas6o1_500.gif
She fixes the cable?
She brought a pizza and is also a yoga instructor?
They go downward dog?
Winner
I remember the Oilers better:
“LOOK AT MY ANUS. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK AT IT!!”
-Cat
http://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_me6xzbUpXD1qdlh1io1_400.gif
That pussy sure is an asshole, also there’s a cat in this gif.
Houston Texans? Don’t you mean the Oilers, nd they’re the Titans now.
Remember those Titans? Few do.
Is this as dumpster fire-y bad as the Falcons’ season? I made it through like 2/3 an episode of that before I said “even I’m not that goddamned bored.”
Well, JJ Watt’s workout sequences lasted a solid 7-8 minutes, there was a Dan Synder sighting, and several mentions and scenes of the Patriots
ok, even 45 seconds of that sounds Seppuku-inducing.
All hail the new Matron Saint.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPSTERRIBLY SORRY THAT GOT POSTED TWICE. SORRY. SORRY.
That’s quite alright. No need to apologize.
Some people are QUITE offended if I don’t post a fresh image of Emily, QUITE, I say!
This is a movement I can get behind. Or genuflect before. Whatever she might prefer, HOLY FUCKBALLS.
/may have been Tuesday drinking a bit
Bucs lost to the Cards:
http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/keep-calm-and-fuck-the-universe.png
The Cardinals’ campaign seems to have the momentum of a runaway freight train. Why are you so popular?
/maybe it’s the jorts?
//WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A real Texan.
She was even a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, Texas’s only NFL team.
Shame that JJ porked her.
Stay tuned, JJ Watt is going to work out after the credits.
Pfft, she’s not even bringing the weights all the way down to the floor.
2/10, would not creepily follow around the gym
FIght! Fight! Fight!
Not Texan. Don’t care.
http://giant.gfycat.com/VillainousArtisticAmericanindianhorse.gif
I wanted a moaner for my birthday, but I just got a sweater.
http://36.media.tumblr.com/15701ba2f7cc80de11ba93d968859126/tumblr_novno6zeuq1r426i4o1_1280.jpg
Her tits changed my life, and I’m a leg man.
I don’t see what the problem is with gore in the comments.
http://static.glamurama.uol.com.br/2013/01/AlGore-21.jpg
I mean, yeah, he was a shitty candidate but that just smacks of censorship.
He means Al.
Well fuck, maybe i should fucking refresh once in a while.
Dan Synder speech.
This is me watching the Yankees right now.
This season was such a pleasant surprise too.
So the Texans forgot the QB jerseys. Not even the Texans ownemployees care about the Texans
Maybe they just understand how shitty the QB situation is…
Could be worse. All QBs on the roster have their jaws in tact
Hypnotoad……………. in repose.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/1f8a0b7d28c370e04d754a0656652cba/tumblr_nqicjzNqPZ1refx74o1_1280.jpg
This series is going to be a minimum 25% JJ Watt working out, isn’t it.
So my daughter’s at her Grandmother’s for the week, my son’s working at a restaurant and my wife just flew to CA for the next 8 days.
I am wearing only shorts and wondering if the Yankees are going to make me drink an entire bottle of tequila tonight.
And the umpire just threw out a fan. There’s no way I’d leave without going on the field after him.
Why are you even home? DFO weekend in Vegas?
Because my son will eventually get home and he’s 17 and he’s got a girlfriend and I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to be a grandfather before he finishes high school.
Yeah but I’m not sure she is…
Nothing some fishing line and the basement stairs wont fix
Does Fathead do custom pieces of women? I can recommend a wide variety of women to use so that he humps the wall instead of his girlfriend.
After all, drywall is fuck tons cheaper than a baby.
There is a great line in Waiting about not getting a girl pregnant because you only practice anal sex. I couldn’t find a pic, so enjoy this instead:
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b366/Mruniverso/waiting057.jpg
Drink it, pussy.
Woops …. that belongs on the books thread.
No, no, it’s fine right here.
I bet you won’t finish that bottle
Jj Watt working after practice scene#1.
A Texan I actually care about.
Is Emily Ratajkowski the new Matron Saint?
I approve this message!
She is now.
I have no objection to this.
Romeo Crennel sighting.
Vince Wilfork has a double sweat stain going on that UM t-shirt.
ACL tear #1.
Will the NFL let me put “ACL Tear” on a custom jersey?
O’Brien has quite the chin-ass.
I have broccoli and I have brie and I have puff pastry. I’m making a cheesy broccoli tart this weekend, aren’t I.
I understand all of those words separately.
You could also make a delicious quiche tart.
Bill O’Brien demands his players know the Texans corporate governance rules in an out. Don’t know the bylaws, your ass is fucking cut.
I was gonna watch this live, but instead I am hitting on a really hot chick. Fuck all of you guys
Good luck!
(Also, if you meant literally hot, then a fever above 105 should result in a hospital visit)
AAAAAAARRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
If she says her name is ‘Caitlyn J.’ get out of there fast!
Liveblog the attempt and results?
FUCK and YES!
Considering your user name, aren’t you required to stay at least 500 yards from a school?
Also, I’m a Best Coaster, so who’s up for a 3 hours delayed live blog?!
And we have our first JJ Watt workout sequence.
#Rise #Blessed #Grind #Blessed #NoOffDays #Blessed #HardWork #Blessed #BiggerInTexas #Blessed #BandOfBrothers #Blessed
This isn’t appearing on HBO Go. Have a dozen drinks in my memory.
Jesus, 3 minutes in there’s a circus, the Patriots super bowl rimg party, HBO doesn’t care about the Texans.
Vince Wilfork is playing catch with an Elephant.
You’re just fucking with us now and making shit up because we don’t have HBO.
This is the kind of shit we beat up Adrian Peterson for…oh.
I completely forgotten Hard Knocks was on Tuesdays.
How the fuck ya doing boys?
/doesnt have HBO
//Is here for the drinks
O’Brien literally started the show with a “Nobody Cares about the Texans” speech.
JJ Watt is creepy. I’m watching “The Men Who Built America” on Netflix instead. Though, based on my own knowledge of these guys, Carnegie is pretty creepy too.
I heard a rumor HBO was showing this for free. Is this true?
So, um, like, what’s your HBO Go password? I’m just asking for my friend.
You boys ain’t getting access to the 3 softcore porn movies gratis.
But how will I know what happens on Coed Confidential?!?
/realizes that’s Skinemax
//still
Ophelia was way hotter before she got the implants.
Agreed! I really don’t understand why some women feel they need to have them.
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