TWITTER JUST GOT THE SEXIEST IT WILL EVER BE

In all of the craziness of the new from today NFL related, this is clearly the biggest.

 

Increase the sexy.
FUCK IT. WE’RE GOIN’ DEEEEEEEEEP

That’s right, folks. The Dragon has been unleashed on THE TWITTERZ. 100% of females, and 74% of males on Twitter just got pregnant.

 

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DuchessInanimate Carbon Rod MarinelliMoose -The End Is Well NighThePirateSlothWCS Recent comment authors
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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

I’m going to follow him like one of his pussy-seeking jizzmissiles follows pussy.

blaxabbath

Why are you doing a Wiki search of Ivy League?

Are you doing the Ryan Fitzpatrick article?!

Curse of Marino
Curse of Marino

The Cum Slinger.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

nvm, sees other thread now open ,, smgdh

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

ijuhs ,, hg. Sdkfjgh, sdfkjs;; aejdfoiewroi”””””””””fuck the CowboysLOLSMGDMFH

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

The furthest I’ve ever run was the 1500 in the decathlon at Penn Relays 24 years ago.

I wasn’t a runner.

Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood
Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood

So apparently Cleveland has been kicking the idea of signing Ray Rice around in the office. When reached for comment, Goodell had this to say:
“Well, I was hoping he’d be out of football altogether, but I guess Cleveland is just as good.”

In other news, Janay Rice is already apologizing to Ray for her role in sentencing him to play for the Browns.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Sex Cannon AND Cromartie in the same city? If that happens bet on Showtime airing Hard Knocked Up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Cuntler

My six year old must’ve heard the news. He just got in a bit of trouble at hockey for calling another kid “pussyface”.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

This is why I don’t have kids.

I can only embarrass myself.

Cuntler

Nah, it was funny. He told me heard it on the “Shrek” movie, which I want to watch again for the pussyface.

SonOfSpam

Well, WAS the other kid a pussyface?

Cuntler

Yes. Yes he was.

Horatio Cornblower

Should have called him a “cunt”; straighten that kid out.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

@Horatio

Your semicolon vis-à-vis your end quotation mark game is lacking.

IronAvenger6491
IronAvenger6491

They grow up so quick.

packman_jon

Just did my first run in well over a year (4.21mi, which I know if 10k guy is reading, yeah I know I’m not as cool as you bro!) and I’m resisting the temptation to eat everything delicious in the United States

/obscure “This Week in Fuck You?” reference?

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Are we doing a separate thread for Hard Knocks, i’d start one, but I know we want to keep clutter down.

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t have HBO and does anyone really care about the Texans?
http://i.ytimg.com/vi/ga7C4oAKuKg/hqdefault.jpg

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m staying in an AirBnB in Boulder tonight…and I am regretting thinking “No a/c, No problem!” I’m too fat for this.

Doktor Zymm

Go buy a can of compressed air. Then read this article about Airbnb brothels!
http://nypost.com/2014/04/14/hookers-using-airbnb-to-use-apartments-for-sex-sessions/

BrettFavresColonoscopy
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s crazy!

ThePirateSloth
ThePirateSloth

Does the place your staying have an attic fan? Because those totally do not cool the house, no matter what they say.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They work perfect in Colorado, wait until it cools off in the evening and the house is cool.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

How does one “Go Deep” on Twitter?

SonOfSpam

All his tweets will be 140 characters, and you’ll feel every last pixel.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In the buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutt.

ballsofsteelandfury

In case the girls in hula hoops didn’t give you the hint, I declare this thread OPEN!

ballsofsteelandfury

And, like me, you didn’t read the tags…

Doktor Zymm

I have two twitter accounts…so TWINS!

ballsofsteelandfury
ballsofsteelandfury
ballsofsteelandfury
King Hippo

Hot taek. Cards sweep Dirt Stillers, or settle for 2 of 3??

Warthog

comment image

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

KANGOGI WOO

You know, after 10,000 years of being the ball China and Japan kicked back and forth those Koreans might just land on their feet.

http://s3.amazonaws.com/foodspotting-ec2/reviews/3951172/thumb_600.jpg?1376949927

Doktor Zymm

Mmm, food porn. Just take a little bit of chili sauce and rub in in, real good.

Lothar of the Hill People
Lothar of the Hill People

Did he post Kyle Orton’s picture as his own?

upforwhatever
upforwhatever

I haven’t been able to bring myself to join Twatter, but I know a lot of you guys are on it. Am I really missing that much? Keep in mind I already spend WAY too much time online/ on my phone.

ballsofsteelandfury

I use it as a source for news and jokes. It is really what you make it.

burritobongo
burritobongo

I joined just to follow PFTC, Jon Bois, and Matt Ufford. I don’t know how to get people to follow me so I’ve never posted anything. HEY FOLLOW ME. I need you all so I can be whole. Prolly doing this wrong. @jasterbaster.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nope.

Cuntler

I quit it. Hive mind. And people use it like facebook*cough*sarahsprague*cough*

WhyEaglesWhy

Why does my phone smell like bleach?

Horatio Cornblower

Only two comments before the first “Howdy Sex Cannon”

Way to go internet.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Just think of all the Tang that’s gonna bring in!

http://blog.cleveland.com/ent_impact_home/2009/07/medium_moontang.jpg

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[PANTIES FLY OPEN]