![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
In all of the craziness of the new from today NFL related, this is clearly the biggest.
That’s right, folks. The Dragon has been unleashed on THE TWITTERZ. 100% of females, and 74% of males on Twitter just got pregnant.
TWITTER JUST GOT THE SEXIEST IT WILL EVER BE
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54 Comments
I’m going to follow him like one of his pussy-seeking jizzmissiles follows pussy.
Why are you doing a Wiki search of Ivy League?
Are you doing the Ryan Fitzpatrick article?!
I have to project intellectualism while I’m poking my own stool with a fork.
The Cum Slinger.
nvm, sees other thread now open ,, smgdh
ijuhs ,, hg. Sdkfjgh, sdfkjs;; aejdfoiewroi”””””””””fuck the CowboysLOLSMGDMFH
The furthest I’ve ever run was the 1500 in the decathlon at Penn Relays 24 years ago.
I wasn’t a runner.
So apparently Cleveland has been kicking the idea of signing Ray Rice around in the office. When reached for comment, Goodell had this to say:
“Well, I was hoping he’d be out of football altogether, but I guess Cleveland is just as good.”
In other news, Janay Rice is already apologizing to Ray for her role in sentencing him to play for the Browns.
Sex Cannon AND Cromartie in the same city? If that happens bet on Showtime airing Hard Knocked Up.
That was fucking great.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/265f9d9ad4a1b555d1849c0e00f4b869/tumblr_nsbq2l2K0c1uxticxo2_500.gif
My six year old must’ve heard the news. He just got in a bit of trouble at hockey for calling another kid “pussyface”.
This is why I don’t have kids.
I can only embarrass myself.
Nah, it was funny. He told me heard it on the “Shrek” movie, which I want to watch again for the pussyface.
Well, WAS the other kid a pussyface?
Yes. Yes he was.
Should have called him a “cunt”; straighten that kid out.
@Horatio
Your semicolon vis-à-vis your end quotation mark game is lacking.
Should have threatened to cut off his mom’s head and fuck it on the front lawn.
But who mowed the lawn?
They grow up so quick.
Just did my first run in well over a year (4.21mi, which I know if 10k guy is reading, yeah I know I’m not as cool as you bro!) and I’m resisting the temptation to eat everything delicious in the United States
Are we doing a separate thread for Hard Knocks, i’d start one, but I know we want to keep clutter down.
I don’t have HBO and does anyone really care about the Texans?
http://i.ytimg.com/vi/ga7C4oAKuKg/hqdefault.jpg
I’m staying in an AirBnB in Boulder tonight…and I am regretting thinking “No a/c, No problem!” I’m too fat for this.
Go buy a can of compressed air. Then read this article about Airbnb brothels!
http://nypost.com/2014/04/14/hookers-using-airbnb-to-use-apartments-for-sex-sessions/
I bought a six pack of this instead:
http://apieceoftoastblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/sawtooth_6_pack_6x6_1233799027.jpg
That’s crazy!
Does the place your staying have an attic fan? Because those totally do not cool the house, no matter what they say.
They work perfect in Colorado, wait until it cools off in the evening and the house is cool.
How does one “Go Deep” on Twitter?
All his tweets will be 140 characters, and you’ll feel every last pixel.
In the buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutt.
In case the girls in hula hoops didn’t give you the hint, I declare this thread OPEN!
And, like me, you didn’t read the tags…
I have two twitter accounts…so TWINS!
I’m just too darn excited about this news:
http://37.media.tumblr.com/5dc22a55738d54cf5b5c0ec1707dd681/tumblr_mndwvca60E1qkr5r7o1_250.gif
I’m going to celebrate the best way I know how:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lIzmVly3jsM/UAWBkc_u0iI/AAAAAAAAB74/fFxJAMCZ-BM/s1600/hula-hoop-girl.gif
Hot taek. Cards sweep Dirt Stillers, or settle for 2 of 3??
KANGOGI WOO
You know, after 10,000 years of being the ball China and Japan kicked back and forth those Koreans might just land on their feet.
http://s3.amazonaws.com/foodspotting-ec2/reviews/3951172/thumb_600.jpg?1376949927
Mmm, food porn. Just take a little bit of chili sauce and rub in in, real good.
Did he post Kyle Orton’s picture as his own?
I haven’t been able to bring myself to join Twatter, but I know a lot of you guys are on it. Am I really missing that much? Keep in mind I already spend WAY too much time online/ on my phone.
I use it as a source for news and jokes. It is really what you make it.
I joined just to follow PFTC, Jon Bois, and Matt Ufford. I don’t know how to get people to follow me so I’ve never posted anything. HEY FOLLOW ME. I need you all so I can be whole. Prolly doing this wrong. @jasterbaster.
Nope.
I quit it. Hive mind. And people use it like facebook*cough*sarahsprague*cough*
Why does my phone smell like bleach?
Only two comments before the first “Howdy Sex Cannon”
Way to go internet.
Just think of all the Tang that’s gonna bring in!
http://blog.cleveland.com/ent_impact_home/2009/07/medium_moontang.jpg
[PANTIES FLY OPEN]
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