Man, I love the fact that there is football on Thursday nights. It’s not as though I expect a good game or anything like that. (Giants/Washington next week folks!) Let me back up a bit-Mondays I tend to drag my ass at work a bit but I get through it knowing that I’ve got a game later that evening. Tuesday is meh. Wednesday at noon I can say to myself, “I’m half-way through the damn week”. Thursday is a busy, pulled-in-many- directions day but I know that my beloved is not far away. And Friday is Friday. What I’m trying to say is that work has become a grind, a god-awful “What am I here for, What are my goals and why are they important?” purpose-emptying, shoulder-sagging, sigh of resignation grind. You youngerlings have this to look forward to-Yay!
Den at KC: It’s The Battle of the Noodly Appendages! You want shovel passes? You got ’em! Do you want quick outs, slants, checkdowns and bubble screens? It’s all here folks. You can’t get that on the the History Channel. Wait there’s more-after all that you may get a long(ish) looping parabolic toss that drops into the mitts of the receiver or the guy that’s defending him. Peyton strikes me as fragile-I wonder if he gets through the season. He doesn’t even have the mobility to sidestep pass rushers any more. His last six games he’s tossed 4 TD’s and had 7 intercepts. Head to head I think I’d take Smith-at least the guy can bail out of the pocket and run for yardage. Andy Reid’s Chiefs are favoured by 3 wetnaps and they sure as hell are going to get a WR TD tonight because. Just…because. CJ’s toe is banged up and Ronnie Lott suggested he just cut it off and, “get the hell back in there, pansy”. All-Pro safety TJ Ward is back after a one game suspension for, I don’t know, taking an extra butter tart at the last player’s union meeting? He gets to cover Kelce. Defence And Ball Control For Everyone, Excitement For None!
My cat would be as good a LT as Ty Sambrailo. And he’d mostly just lick his ass.
Osweiller on the sideline
http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Mr-Burns-Saying-Excellent.gif
wait…I can post gifs here?
Did his mom pay the front line to play like a sieve?
RIP Pey Pey
I did not know every Thursday night game is a divisional game this year. That may help. Although we get Browns v Bengals
The Declining Urban Centers Bowl
Hey! I have to suffer through it twice!
feel the excrement!
evolution is fact
Facts schmacts. You can use facts to prove anything.
har
Dez thinks that was a catch.
LET THE THURSDAY NIGHT FLOW THROUGH YOU
WHY ARE THE AVATAR SIZES SO ANOMALOUS
Manning with a decent throw! Someone break out the hyperbole!
That’s better than a papa john’s summer pizza!
This up-close camera angle sucks.
I keep wondering which time his head hits the turf will return the feeling to his fingers?
Breaking open a Goose Island Sophie in celebration of watching the first full football game of the season from my own couch.
Holy crap this is tasty.
Sophie is great hustle.
Man, Sofie’s great.
Mr “My French vacation kept me from Football” over here.
IT FUCKING DID!
BUT IT WAS STILL AWESOME!
I STILL HAVE MACARONS!
I will now buy any bottles of it I see.
Do they have four-packs where you are? We have four-packs.
Probably. I just found a single of it somewhere and grabbed it.
Matilda and Pere Jacques are also tasty if you’re going to the Belgian-style Goose Island route.
No fucking time to throw. This is the worst. This is making it hard to make jokes.
So you’re saying you’re taking a pass on this one?
I am not enjoying how completely shite the left side of the line is.
I wish I could do an English accent without sounding like a 70 year-old professor, or Jason Statham.
DI IT FER US
Don’t do London, do Manchester, or Newcastle.
I like the new format, it’s like being part of a company office chain with half the porn.
Half the porn? Moose isn’t here yet?
You shut your whore mouth
http://40.media.tumblr.com/dadd8271b64362229f38c2e7ad5cc14a/tumblr_nu3j9nYfrF1tbs59no1_1280.jpg
Well, if that site had existed when I was in high school (or the Internet in general), I probably would’ve never left the house chasing the gymnast/cheerleader who sat next to me in French class.
Oh thursday football you are fantastic in the worst kind of way. I look forward to you as you are usually so awful that you are entertaining. Next week Dan Snyder v Jerry Jones and you will be epic. I know it.
GO METEOR
Please tell me that Snyder-Jones is a halftime death match….
I suspect this might be the [*Redacted] s first win. Even in the shittiest of years it’s hard to lost 2 to the Giants.
Also, both Snyder and Jones would play dirty, I would watch the hell out of that deathmatch.
Things I have :
Tiny Hands
Things I don’t have :
Robot neck
I can only relate to one QB in this game.
Do you have feeling in both hands? That knocks Pey-Pey out.
I have neither.
And I can relate to only the vice versa.
WEIRD!!
/actually it’s just cadaver bone, but robot is cooler
//nifty neck scar, though (need a better knife fight cover story)
Ha! I use that same knife fight joke, for the same scar. Weird. Let’s get PK to write about it.
And mine’s a titanium plate. No cadaver bone, but some plastic mesh to provide structure that helped my own bones to knit together.
Best of luck with the robot necks. I applaud you with my child-sized hands! (No joke, I actually do wear child sized gloves, they’re way cheaper)
I have a robot neck and big hands, so my “spirit QB” is on the other side.
Ha, we were typing at same time.
I will say this, though. I shook hands with Bill Clinton, and my hand was like a toddler’s in his. Dude has bear paws.
No wonder why he shoved a cigar up Monica’s snatch. A finger probably would’ve done some damage.
It’s amazing just how badly Wade sucks at head coaching vs. how awesome he is as a DC. I mean, it’s well-established that one can be good at one and shit at the other, but his disparity is just so incredibly vast.
This remake of The Birds sucks.
“That was a beautiful punt” is NOT a good thing to hear in a football game.
Colquitt-off!
Chiefs have decided to air it out with some monster 5 yard slants.
Curse Of The Rivebrog Reincarnate?
Let’s move on.
“Smith tosses the ball to Wade Phillips…. incomplete.”
This…is going…to be a repeat of the fucking Ravens-Broncos snore fest.
I hate the Cowboys but dear god at least their games are entertaining.
SMITH LIVES MATTER
15 yard penalty for competently playing defense.
It’s 3rd and longer than Alex can throw it.
Challenge accepted!
Dang, only got it 12 yards that time.
Pretty ineffectual holding.
Who, What, When, WARE!?
Power goes out with Chiefs on the 5.
Power comes back. Oh hey, I didn’t miss anything.
“Power goes out, power goes in. You can’t explain that.”
-Bill O’Reilly
NEXT GEN STATS (Include division)
The refs think they’re being paid by the flag.
Do football players get hearing loss from the weekly noise exposure? Or do they not notice cause of all the CTE?
Worst noise–louder than shit–is getting hit on the helmet with a small rock or a coach’s whistle.
So naturally, on every team I played, it was routine to find little pebbles and wing ’em at other players during practice. Such fun to ruin another guy’s hearing!
Here’s Demarcus Ware mumbling and grunting… Thanks Mic’d up.
So I watched the GOP debate yesterday, minus 30 minutes for South Park.
I hate freedom now.
South Park was that bad?
I thought South Park was pretty funny. The dream sequence explained the Deflategate crap perfectly.
http://i.imgur.com/Hi0P138.png
http://cdn.meme.am/instances/55972998.jpg
8 wins definitely wins the AFCW
Five wins and a tie.
Six seasons and a movie!
Behold, the PROPHECY!!
Gentlemen.
Hello, you poor fool.
You don’t know the half of it.
Who?
Where?
make it better, make it snow?
You lie.
Fence lady should write to NFL Widow.
“My dipshit husband keeps tearing up our fence for a cliche’ D-fence sign at a football game. My question is, will Peyton ever be an elite quarterback again?”
THIS PEYTON MANNING, I CALL HIM WARHEAD BECAUSE HE USED TO TEAR UP THE OPPOSITION BUT HIS AGE IS STARTING TO SHOW
Come on now, how was THAT a fucking foul?! Just demand the game go two-hand touch and be done with it.
So its illegal to block someone high now?!
Manning, P–Right upper appendicular skeleton
http://o.quizlet.com/i/qIcjzHZoGQcn9V8J7Yxthg_m.jpg
Give it a month, manning will get hot again, and Peter king will say he was lulling the league into a false sense of security
Maybe it’s time for Peyton to retire to nice home and take a part time job as a roomba.
Star Wars kind of numbers.
What does that even mean? He got as many touchdown passes as the number of people who died on Alderaan?
I thought he was referring to the Reagan, cold war era anti-ballistic missile system that was never built.
As if that makes his rambling any more sensible.
REAGAN SMASH!
It’s obviously the other star wars. One air intercept of an ICBM equals 6.1 td passes.
Holy crap, Peyton Manning overthrew a receiver?
Someone turned his distance dial one notch too far. Must return to sidelines for maintenance.
I’m already wondering: How many overthrows will there be between the Donks and Bolts? Do numbers go that high?
Who cares about 2 yards? Why waste the timeout? Take the penaty. And of course Phil thinks its a good timeout.
FloatHead