Man, I love the fact that there is football on Thursday nights. It’s not as though I expect a good game or anything like that. (Giants/Washington next week folks!) Let me back up a bit-Mondays I tend to drag my ass at work a bit but I get through it knowing that I’ve got a game later that evening. Tuesday is meh. Wednesday at noon I can say to myself, “I’m half-way through the damn week”. Thursday is a busy, pulled-in-many- directions day but I know that my beloved is not far away. And Friday is Friday. What I’m trying to say is that work has become a grind, a god-awful “What am I here for, What are my goals and why are they important?” purpose-emptying, shoulder-sagging, sigh of resignation grind. You youngerlings have this to look forward to-Yay!
Den at KC: It’s The Battle of the Noodly Appendages! You want shovel passes? You got ’em! Do you want quick outs, slants, checkdowns and bubble screens? It’s all here folks. You can’t get that on the the History Channel. Wait there’s more-after all that you may get a long(ish) looping parabolic toss that drops into the mitts of the receiver or the guy that’s defending him. Peyton strikes me as fragile-I wonder if he gets through the season. He doesn’t even have the mobility to sidestep pass rushers any more. His last six games he’s tossed 4 TD’s and had 7 intercepts. Head to head I think I’d take Smith-at least the guy can bail out of the pocket and run for yardage. Andy Reid’s Chiefs are favoured by 3 wetnaps and they sure as hell are going to get a WR TD tonight because. Just…because. CJ’s toe is banged up and Ronnie Lott suggested he just cut it off and, “get the hell back in there, pansy”. All-Pro safety TJ Ward is back after a one game suspension for, I don’t know, taking an extra butter tart at the last player’s union meeting? He gets to cover Kelce. Defence And Ball Control For Everyone, Excitement For None!
♫can’t count on the running game♫
Go on, Pey Pey. Take that victory lap at the expense of the franchise. It worked for Brett Favre
2016 Los Angeles Raiders Starting qb Peyton Manning
/pic goes viral of him fucking a papa john pizza
Was he trying to Ram It?
Peyton wants practice tackling so he can play safety once his arms are paralyzed.
Flying Dog Bloodline is outstanding. It’s almost a waste to drink it to kill the pain of this miserable football game.
Floatcepti-oh, never mind.
HOW MUCH LONGER CAN IT GO ON
INCREASE FLOAT FACTOR AFFIRMATIVE
I plan to retire as soon as I can viably buy some property in, I don’t know, Montenegro or Sri Lanka, along with an annuity that’ll get me $1000 US/month, which should be plenty to live on in those places. If I were Peyton Manning, I would’ve been gone years ago. He should maybe subscribe to my newsletter.
Sri Lanka should be calming down since the Tamil Tigers went utterly fucking insane and decided to try and kill the PM of India.
That was REALLY fucking smart. Kind of easy to win a civil war when India is pissed and just drops off a dozen of fully supported tank divisions.
I would probably move to the south-west coast anyway.
No Papa Johns there
I suspect I could make my own shitty pizza.
Would they pay you 20 mil to put fake cheese top of the pizzas?
Pick Six ike Matt fucking Schaub. (sung to Nationwide theme)
At this point I don’t even want the game to improve dramatically, I’ll settle for a special teams play without a goddamn flag.
♫ I don’t think this is our year ♫
This is the funniest epic collapse I’ve ever seen.
Last year’s Patriot implosion was better.
Survivor is still a thing?!?
In college, I shared an apartment with a grad student. I was 26 starting college and he was my same age. Total couch potato. Never did anything but school and watch TV. He had the personality of a piece of wood.
The dude swore that one day he was going to be on survivor.
I don’t think he could have handled sitting on a public bus.
I wasn’t even in middle school when it first aired. Fuuuck.
Peyton Manning, as controlled by RFD in Madden. #ALLRIGHTSPORTSFANS #RQBOCEPTION
All we need is Peyton to charge into his line and do a Dinoflip to make sure.
MOAR FRAGS.
Peyton is obviously distracted tonight.
Someone ate his chicken parm before the game.
The good news is I’ve already moved the whiskey over here.
/preemptively calls in to work
“Yes, your honor. No, your honor. I understand that ‘I was unexpectedly Manningfaced last night’ is not generally a recognized ground for granting a continuance.”
Did I throw that stupid pick?
FATAL ERROR, MUST RESTART
I don’t give a fuck about his goddamn fingers’ lack of feeling, does he even have eyes?! That pass was off target from the jump. Fuck you, Manning. Fuck you.
It-is-time-to-re-ti-re
So I sat the KC defense tonight in exchange for Saints against the Bucs. I’m starting to regret this decision.
I sat Balmer for Minny last week. Thank fuck I lost by more than 21.
Eh, it might be a wash.
If your next Thursday is starting with a rumble between the Giants and [*Redacted] s,perhaps you should listen to your stomach for once and visit a jon before you pepper your shorts with explosive diarrhea.
PEPPER NEEDS NEW SHORTS!
Goddamn it…my power went out for like 2 minutes and I missed that pick six!
Was it glorious?
WHAT A PICK! WHAT A GLORIOUS PICK! WITNESS!
The pass was mediocre.
It was beautiful
https://twitter.com/PatDStat/status/644685619302670337
So…is Peyton’s fantasy score negative right now?
He’s at -11.87 in Sill’s league of extraodinary insanity
Yes. Yes it fucking is.
I wasn’t going to drink tonight. Silly me.
Did you read who was playing tonight?
ERROR CODE 4012030440: NO FEELING IN FINGERS EXCEPTION
Completely and irrevocably dead.
xxERRORxx
FALSE=/throw /y /n
Shit it blocked out some of my comment thinking it was actual code. Don’t use arrow brackets I guess.
10 RECEIVE SNAP
20 DROP BACK
30 THROW
ERROR ERORR
switch(covered)
{
case: open
throw_pass();
case: covered
throw_pass();
break;
}
oh thats so funny
God I hope this exact same scenario happens to Brady eventually.
This week?
So we’ve finally reached Manning’s victory derp.
Hey guys how’s it-
/Cybermanning throws a pick-6
WELCOME BACK TNF!
Okay, game definitely over now.
[Hippo’s pill bottle flies open]
indeed it has
Hmm. Well.
/turns back to page 101
WOOO GO CHIFFS!
Manning’s first TD pass of the game!
GLORIOUS MANNING FACE!
Worth noting : Pretty much every Chicago based [*Redacted] s fan likes the name Redtails. So Snyder will pick something else when he goes back to RFK.
4 personal fouls on the Broncos already.
Anyone giving odds on if a Broncos player murders a Chiefs player on the field tonight?
I mentioned earlier my dog loves my shitty 70s/80s/90s. A lot of 90’s. Music. He fucking hates this game.
My apologies I thought it was Snyder v Jones, its Snyder v Mara, different ridiculously rich white guy
THE OL’ DOUBLE J has a side-hobby as being a Bond villain, right?
Hey WCS, how does your name have a link to it?
That death match is gonna be a lot less fun.
Oh man. NFC East derpfest next week.
“No, Eli, his *name* is Cousins, you’re not related to him…”
Up at 5 am to run further than I have in 12 years. G’night, everyone.
Since I have no vested interest in either of the teams playing tonight, I’ll simply say, “GO DERPS!”
Good luck with the run!
Robofloat
Rivers-esque float to Green there.
THIS GAME HERE I CALL A LAST CALL HOOKUP BECAUSE IT’S UGLY AS FUCK BUT IT’S THE BEST OPTION I GOT!
Al’la amatriciana:
http://romeonrome.com/files/2013/02/amatriciana.jpeg
http://s2.stliq.com/c/l/1/1f/22983557_cucina-la-pasta-alla-amatriciana-1.jpg
Just a note to anyone who comes at me-Nationwide is on my side.
80’s sitcoms, the common language of guys who write signs that get on TV.
Simmons and the Karate Kid would like a word with you.