Your Thursday Nighter Open Thread

Man, I love the fact that there is football on Thursday nights. It’s not as though I expect a good game or anything like that. (Giants/Washington next week folks!) Let me back up a bit-Mondays I tend to drag my ass at work a bit but I get through it knowing that I’ve got a game later that evening. Tuesday is meh. Wednesday at noon I can say to myself, “I’m half-way through the damn week”. Thursday is a busy, pulled-in-many- directions day but I know that my beloved is not far away. And Friday is Friday. What I’m trying to say is that work has become a grind, a god-awful “What am I here for, What are my goals and why are they important?” purpose-emptying, shoulder-sagging, sigh of resignation grind. You youngerlings have this to look forward to-Yay!

Den at KC: It’s The Battle of the Noodly Appendages! You want shovel passes? You got ’em! Do you want quick outs, slants, checkdowns and bubble screens? It’s all here folks. You can’t get that on the the History Channel. Wait there’s more-after all that you may get a long(ish) looping parabolic toss that drops into the mitts of the receiver or the guy that’s defending him. Peyton strikes me as fragile-I wonder if he gets through the season. He doesn’t even have the mobility to sidestep pass rushers any more. His last six games  he’s tossed 4 TD’s and had 7 intercepts. Head to head I think I’d take Smith-at least the guy can bail out of the pocket and run for yardage. Andy Reid’s Chiefs are favoured by 3 wetnaps and they sure as hell are going to get a WR TD tonight because. Just…because. CJ’s toe is banged up and Ronnie Lott suggested he just cut it off and, “get the hell back in there, pansy”. All-Pro safety TJ Ward is back after a one game suspension for, I don’t know, taking an extra butter tart at the last player’s union meeting? He gets to cover Kelce. Defence And Ball Control For Everyone, Excitement For None!

 

 

 

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Old School Zero

♫can’t count on the running game♫

Gratliff

Go on, Pey Pey. Take that victory lap at the expense of the franchise. It worked for Brett Favre

litre_cola

2016 Los Angeles Raiders Starting qb Peyton Manning

/pic goes viral of him fucking a papa john pizza

Senor Weaselo

Was he trying to Ram It?

Mother Puncher

Peyton wants practice tackling so he can play safety once his arms are paralyzed.

synapticmisfires

Flying Dog Bloodline is outstanding. It’s almost a waste to drink it to kill the pain of this miserable football game.

blackroseMD1

Floatcepti-oh, never mind.

Sill Bimmons

HOW MUCH LONGER CAN IT GO ON

MikeWallaceAndGromit

INCREASE FLOAT FACTOR AFFIRMATIVE

Doktor Zymm

I plan to retire as soon as I can viably buy some property in, I don’t know, Montenegro or Sri Lanka, along with an annuity that’ll get me $1000 US/month, which should be plenty to live on in those places. If I were Peyton Manning, I would’ve been gone years ago. He should maybe subscribe to my newsletter.

JustStopDude

Sri Lanka should be calming down since the Tamil Tigers went utterly fucking insane and decided to try and kill the PM of India.

That was REALLY fucking smart. Kind of easy to win a civil war when India is pissed and just drops off a dozen of fully supported tank divisions.

Doktor Zymm

I would probably move to the south-west coast anyway.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

No Papa Johns there

Doktor Zymm

I suspect I could make my own shitty pizza.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Would they pay you 20 mil to put fake cheese top of the pizzas?

Japanimal

Pick Six ike Matt fucking Schaub. (sung to Nationwide theme)

entropy

At this point I don’t even want the game to improve dramatically, I’ll settle for a special teams play without a goddamn flag.

makeitsnowondem

I don’t think this is our year

Sill Bimmons

This is the funniest epic collapse I’ve ever seen.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Last year’s Patriot implosion was better.

JustStopDude

Survivor is still a thing?!?

In college, I shared an apartment with a grad student. I was 26 starting college and he was my same age. Total couch potato. Never did anything but school and watch TV. He had the personality of a piece of wood.

The dude swore that one day he was going to be on survivor.

I don’t think he could have handled sitting on a public bus.

packman_jon

I wasn’t even in middle school when it first aired. Fuuuck.

Old School Zero

Peyton Manning, as controlled by RFD in Madden. #ALLRIGHTSPORTSFANS #RQBOCEPTION

Senor Weaselo

All we need is Peyton to charge into his line and do a Dinoflip to make sure.

Senor Weaselo

MOAR FRAGS.

blackroseMD1

Peyton is obviously distracted tonight.

Someone ate his chicken parm before the game.

makeitsnowondem

The good news is I’ve already moved the whiskey over here.

/preemptively calls in to work

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

“Yes, your honor. No, your honor. I understand that ‘I was unexpectedly Manningfaced last night’ is not generally a recognized ground for granting a continuance.”

tundrajim

Did I throw that stupid pick?

Senor Weaselo

FATAL ERROR, MUST RESTART

entropy

I don’t give a fuck about his goddamn fingers’ lack of feeling, does he even have eyes?! That pass was off target from the jump. Fuck you, Manning. Fuck you.

Old School Zero

It-is-time-to-re-ti-re

Thrillhouse

So I sat the KC defense tonight in exchange for Saints against the Bucs. I’m starting to regret this decision.

King Hippo

I sat Balmer for Minny last week. Thank fuck I lost by more than 21.

Senor Weaselo

Eh, it might be a wash.

John Difool

If your next Thursday is starting with a rumble between the Giants and [*Redacted] s,perhaps you should listen to your stomach for once and visit a jon before you pepper your shorts with explosive diarrhea.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

PEPPER NEEDS NEW SHORTS!

JustStopDude

Goddamn it…my power went out for like 2 minutes and I missed that pick six!

Was it glorious?

Old School Zero

WHAT A PICK! WHAT A GLORIOUS PICK! WITNESS!

MikeWallaceAndGromit

The pass was mediocre.

packman_jon

It was beautiful

Doktor Zymm

So…is Peyton’s fantasy score negative right now?

blordinaryfagicmox

He’s at -11.87 in Sill’s league of extraodinary insanity

entropy

Yes. Yes it fucking is.

synapticmisfires

I wasn’t going to drink tonight. Silly me.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Did you read who was playing tonight?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

ERROR CODE 4012030440: NO FEELING IN FINGERS EXCEPTION

King Hippo

Completely and irrevocably dead.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

xxERRORxx
FALSE=/throw /y /n

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Shit it blocked out some of my comment thinking it was actual code. Don’t use arrow brackets I guess.

packman_jon

10 RECEIVE SNAP
20 DROP BACK
30 THROW

ERROR ERORR

blordinaryfagicmox

switch(covered)
{
case: open
throw_pass();
case: covered
throw_pass();
break;
}

Sill Bimmons

oh thats so funny

God I hope this exact same scenario happens to Brady eventually.

This week?

Gratliff

So we’ve finally reached Manning’s victory derp.

packman_jon

Hey guys how’s it-
/Cybermanning throws a pick-6
WELCOME BACK TNF!

Senor Weaselo

Okay, game definitely over now.

WCS

[Hippo’s pill bottle flies open]

King Hippo

indeed it has

makeitsnowondem

Hmm. Well.

/turns back to page 101

Doktor Zymm

WOOO GO CHIFFS!

Old School Zero

Manning’s first TD pass of the game!

...

GLORIOUS MANNING FACE!

Doktor Zymm

Worth noting : Pretty much every Chicago based [*Redacted] s fan likes the name Redtails. So Snyder will pick something else when he goes back to RFK.

blackroseMD1

4 personal fouls on the Broncos already.

Anyone giving odds on if a Broncos player murders a Chiefs player on the field tonight?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I mentioned earlier my dog loves my shitty 70s/80s/90s. A lot of 90’s. Music. He fucking hates this game.

litre_cola

My apologies I thought it was Snyder v Jones, its Snyder v Mara, different ridiculously rich white guy

WCS

THE OL’ DOUBLE J has a side-hobby as being a Bond villain, right?

Senor Weaselo

Hey WCS, how does your name have a link to it?

entropy

That death match is gonna be a lot less fun.

...

Oh man. NFC East derpfest next week.

entropy

“No, Eli, his *name* is Cousins, you’re not related to him…”

Lothar of the Hill People

Up at 5 am to run further than I have in 12 years. G’night, everyone.

Since I have no vested interest in either of the teams playing tonight, I’ll simply say, “GO DERPS!”

bourb0nblues

Good luck with the run!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Robofloat

Senor Weaselo

Rivers-esque float to Green there.

Old School Zero

THIS GAME HERE I CALL A LAST CALL HOOKUP BECAUSE IT’S UGLY AS FUCK BUT IT’S THE BEST OPTION I GOT!

Sill Bimmons
Doktor Zymm

80’s sitcoms, the common language of guys who write signs that get on TV.

Japanimal

Simmons and the Karate Kid would like a word with you.

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