Your Monday! Monday! Monday! Night Game Open Thread

Tonight is the 45th anniversary of the first ever Monday Nighter! We’re gonna be treated to so many wonderful memories-mamember the time that Cosell called Alvin Garrett “a little monkey” and then denied it? How about the time that the self-absorbed Joe Theismann decided that everyone should see his tibia? My best csb memory of MNF involved me and my fellow staff guys trying to close the dining room that I bar-tended early so that we could get over to a bar called Tramps (run by all my exes) and spend all of our combined tip money on pitchers of beer. (“Yes I realize it’s only 7:30 sir but we’re just about to close.”) I didn’t say this but one time I saw Dexter Manley trying to find his coke dealer at that same place. Remember that one year that he played for the Ottawa Rough Riders? Neither does he.

Jets @ Colts: So it comes down to this-Pagano’s thousand yard stare vs. whatever Bowles does that we should be making fun of. What do Tanzania and the Jets have in common? They’re both short of ivory. I had Ivory getting injured by wk. 4 but he up and done it after the first. Brown-noser! So now it’s Ridley or Powell, Powell or Ridley. So much to choose from! Moncrief gets not-Revis so he should do okay. Right? Right! Colts were ambushed by the Bills last week and the Jets lost to Cleveland. Hold up. They beat Cleveland? This is why we can’t have nice things. Play according to form, Jets team! One Jets blog I came across was yakking about Geno maybe coming back early from the punctured ear drum he suffered while listening to some chin music. Congrats Jets desperation, you have successfully disguised yourself as hope.

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Old School Zero

I’m tuning in Bud Winston style with a tiny pocket am/fm radio. So far, I’m enjoying it better than actually having to watch the Jets play.

VonTazeMeBro

BEN!!!!

Old School Zero

You ought to be thanking the Chargers for gifting y’all that game. We sucked some ass, and I’m not talking about tossing salads.

Martin

Woops.

Jets still get Jet this up tho

The Maestro

FatHumpceptions never fail to amuse.

Doktor Zymm

I should heat up some spanikopita. Spinach turnover!

WCS

The wife calls those spank-o-Cleopatra.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
hippofant

Turnovers.

They’re delicious.

Also, the coverage had nothing to do with that interception from a deflection of overthrow on a blitz? Shut up Gruden.

Stabby Pants

C’mon jon. 5 were against the Browns. thats like, 2 turnovers against an NFL caliber team.

King Hippo

Ya got bad, bad Luck

Amishception

entropy

Fuck. Yes.

hippofant

Has the NFL considered buying the referees… a second flag? :O

Dick E. Phuck

HODORCEPTION

Sill Bimmons

YESSSSSSSSS

The Mighty Feklahr

Gruden is freaking out with all of the yellow he is seeing!
http://www.ufunk.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/ufunk-Drugs-Alice-in-Wonderland-09.gif
(See what I did thar?)

King Hippo

Even teh FRAG GODS think this is excessive

VonTazeMeBro

Drink every time there’s a flag? Challenge accepted!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The section of my TV where the “Flag” chyron lights up has already burnt out.

makeitsnowondem

Watching Frank Gore run, I can totally understand why Obama doesn’t care about our veterans.

Stabby Pants

Jets gonna Jets.

entropy

Ordinarily this much yellow in a Colts home game is because the fucking melted cheese overflowed.

The Mighty Feklahr
Stabby Pants

They don’t even come off for offense. lots of penalties.

Doktor Zymm

This season needs to pop its safety cherry.

The Mighty Feklahr

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Sill Bimmons

RUN THE BALLS OFF IT GORE

The Mighty Feklahr

By the way, DOF guys, I really think you guys are doing an excellent job here. This place feels like my favorite football couch already. Qapla!

Stabby Pants

All day breakfast coming to McDonalds. Because some people apparently fucking wanted that.

Sill Bimmons

I wanted that. The breakfast food is generally much better for you and on the occasions I’m forced to eat there I’d rather have that option.

Doktor Zymm

Yesterday was pretty awesome, so I’m probably due to be disappointed. Go Newark Airports!

Sill Bimmons

Oh, Camry.

Even though you’re the best selling vehicle ever in your market segment you still have no idea who you are.

VonTazeMeBro

Fan duel? BUT I USE DRAFT KING

WCS

I prefer Draft Duel Fan Kings

Sill Bimmons

GRITTIEST OF THE FAIR CATCHES

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Holy shit, the Colts have a defense!

Stabby Pants

The Jets are not exactly a good litmus test for that statement.

WCS

It’s known as “Jets offense.”

entropy

Go easy on that one. These guys have it right.

Stabby Pants

Checking in. My team lost a shoot out with the fucking Raiders. I drank. I just woke up.

I hate football.

JustStopDude

Depressing ain’t it?

How is it the defense tanks without Suggs so utterly?

Sill Bimmons

“I’m sick and tired of the bubble screen.”

–said BOSS TODD NEVAR

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

I AM SICK OF THESE MOTHERFUCKING SCREENS, IN THIS MOTHERFUCKING GAME!

makeitsnowondem

Who are some of these Jets players even?

The Mighty Feklahr

Holy shit! They kicked off? I forgot to get beer! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Sill Bimmons

LUMBERJACK QUARTERBACK

Doktor Zymm

Two flags in the first 30 seconds? This game should be a fitting end to week 2. And another one…

The Mighty Feklahr

Faces of Meth wins. Sort of. It is “Interpret Chucky and Tirico’s Substance Alteration”.

http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1760009/coke.gif

JustStopDude
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I made it through 20 min of pregame and still feel like I might die (from my weird seizure thing, not the pregame). I think I will watch my Jurassic World dl that should be done by now.

/ God damn it, 15 min left

I meant “Nice to see you guys today!”

entropy

Dude, that movie is fun as shit. You’re in for a good time.

Doktor Zymm

Not watching Colts/Jets is probably the healthiest decision. Feel better soon.

King Hippo

Say what you will about cancer, but Chuck Pagano is looking damned fit and trim!

Dread on dread crime

entropy

That was a fun little epilepsy-inducing glitch.

Sill Bimmons

COME ON C. OWUSU

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I took the Colts -8 in an office pool. I await my comeuppance.

entropy

Hooray for the boring as shit touchback game opening kickoff, NFL!

Sill Bimmons
John Difool

Easton Corbin had some busy eybrows

The Mighty Feklahr

I might have had an idea…

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VonTazeMeBro

Thank you in advance for the nightmares

entropy

Too obvious. These days I picture Chucky as the guy that played “Dauber” on Coach and always spelled shit “M-O-O-N” in the Stand.

Sill Bimmons

That’s fucking brilliant.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just go with a pair of “adult massagers” for Gruden and Tirico

The Maestro

Wow… This guy doing the anthem is the cheesiest fuck in the building. And that’s saying something, considering the number one fetish in Indiana involves Cheez-Whiz in various orifices, I’ve heard…

The Mighty Feklahr

Cheez Whiz? The men’s room at Lambeau?