Your Monday! Monday! Monday! Night Game Open Thread

Tonight is the 45th anniversary of the first ever Monday Nighter! We’re gonna be treated to so many wonderful memories-mamember the time that Cosell called Alvin Garrett “a little monkey” and then denied it? How about the time that the self-absorbed Joe Theismann decided that everyone should see his tibia? My best csb memory of MNF involved me and my fellow staff guys trying to close the dining room that I bar-tended early so that we could get over to a bar called Tramps (run by all my exes) and spend all of our combined tip money on pitchers of beer. (“Yes I realize it’s only 7:30 sir but we’re just about to close.”) I didn’t say this but one time I saw Dexter Manley trying to find his coke dealer at that same place. Remember that one year that he played for the Ottawa Rough Riders? Neither does he.

Jets @ Colts: So it comes down to this-Pagano’s thousand yard stare vs. whatever Bowles does that we should be making fun of. What do Tanzania and the Jets have in common? They’re both short of ivory. I had Ivory getting injured by wk. 4 but he up and done it after the first. Brown-noser! So now it’s Ridley or Powell, Powell or Ridley. So much to choose from! Moncrief gets not-Revis so he should do okay. Right? Right! Colts were ambushed by the Bills last week and the Jets lost to Cleveland. Hold up. They beat Cleveland? This is why we can’t have nice things. Play according to form, Jets team! One Jets blog I came across was yakking about Geno maybe coming back early from the punctured ear drum he suffered while listening to some chin music. Congrats Jets desperation, you have successfully disguised yourself as hope.

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entropy

You know it’s a good game when even Chucky is paying attention to the real thing instead of the Madden 16 simulation he usually comments on each week.

PhilSimmsKentuckyMethCookbook

Andrew Luck is still trying to figure out how they’re able to play football inside at nighttime.

John Difool

Wait’ll he gets a load of these new talkies.

Sill Bimmons

Bacon: fried or broiled?

Stabby Pants

If the dodge Brothers walked into a showroom today, they’d probably say ‘BRAAAAINNNSSSS’.

entropy

Fitzmagic runs 30 yards for a net loss of 2. CAN FEEL IT?!

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Bjoern Werner <<<< Trent Richardson

The Mighty Feklahr

These two teams are trying really hard to get attention from their stepdad.

Mother Puncher

Vinatieri is America’s step-dad

Senor Weaselo

FIELD GOALS ARE TOO EASY, LET’S MOVE BACK THE EXTRA POINT TOO!

Doktor Zymm

I really hope the new Muppets doesn’t blow.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Mother Puncher

I miss Attack of the Show

makeitsnowondem

This is the best football game.

entropy

It’s no Eagles/Cowboys, or Giants/Cowboys, or Vikings/49ers… fuck this has been one sad-sack shitshow of a season thus far, ain’t it?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Don’t forget my Chicago Pickles

entropy

Doink!

The Mighty Feklahr
WCS

WHY COULDN’T YOU DO THAT IN ONE OF THOSE SUPER BOWLS

JustStopDude

Colts bonk the field goal…just taking it all in…

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_le6ahl8CxU1qaoq6yo1_500.gif

John Difool

Andrew Luck’s favorite PlayStation game is Grand Theft Horse and Buggy.

entropy

Didn’t Andre Johnson torch the Colts once or twice? I’m sure he was already a household name.

Senor Weaselo

Have they mentioned that one of these quarterbacks went to Harvard and the other went to Stanford yet?

Spider 2 Y Banana, drink all the alcohol (that wasn’t sold for personal consumption) in your house.

makeitsnowondem

I don’t know if it’s a good idea to throw to the offensive lineman when he’s covered.

Sill Bimmons

FUCKING TACKLE ELIGIBLE SPIDER 2 Y BANANA HOLY FUCKING FUCK

BrettFavresColonoscopy

SPIDER 2Y BANANA SIGHTING

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Just got back, my dad was yelling about how he almost got forced to spend $500 bucks on his meds that make him uncontrollably mad and one other one. He had a card that his doctor gave him because he was uninsured that made it $39. So net win on his $400 doctor visit. He also got 3 $150 inhalers free because they were doctor samples

But ignoring that, is there a chance the Colts will lose this thing?

The Mighty Feklahr

Dallas Clark woulda got that.

The Mighty Feklahr

Wow, Shamrock Shakes must be Popeye’s spinach for The Colts!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Shamrock Shakes are what Pat Summerall used to get on St. Patrick’s Day.

Stabby Pants

Jets have limited supplies of competence. They may have used up their allotment for the year.

Old School Zero

VMB be killing it in GSR league. Chris might be changing his team name.

VonTazeMeBro

And to think I sucked a seriously huge one week 1

Sill Bimmons

WHY DID YOU RUIN THE FANTASY WITH THE KID GAAAHHHHHHH

PhilSimmsKentuckyMethCookbook

Let’s pretend she was the babysitter, although since they’re steeler fans, that’s probably her granddaughter.

WCS

Poker night at Bob Vance’s house seem lame.

Stabby Pants

What Fitzmagic has up his sleeve is definitely not arm muscles.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Perhaps it’s a diploma! From Harvard! Where he went!

King Hippo

Maybe this is the year the Jags take the division?

PhilSimmsKentuckyMethCookbook

Where scoop meets whoop is not where I’m going to be. We need a pregane show that is buffoon free.

The Mighty Feklahr

comment image

JustStopDude
makeitsnowondem

The worst thing about having an Amish quarterback is you can’t use gadget plays.

John Difool

+10

Sill Bimmons

godDAMMIT

jjfozz

So I have Luck starting as my fantasy qb versus the Jets D, which is also on my fantasy team

Right now I’m having a fantasy about me and a cheerleader in a tub of warm cheese.

I suck at fantasy.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah yes, Monistat Dream #1. Been there.

Martin

New York hasn’t seen a Jet this accurate since 9/11.

VonTazeMeBro

Ooh, too soon?

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Geez, John that’s just wrong.

Sill Bimmons

hoo boy

Dick E. Phuck

This game might be good.

Sill Bimmons

What was The Tentacle Porn Incident?

I had no idea it had even happened until earlier today and reading the edited thread wasn’t very illuminating.

Martin

It’s best not to ask, but the takeaway is that tentacle porn is bad and certain people should feel bad for posting it.

The Mighty Feklahr

It wasn’t me, was it?

Martin

Nope

Stabby Pants

5th and goal is the Jets best down.

Senor Weaselo

Deckerdown!

The Mighty Feklahr

Upper – Decker?

huzzah.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is there an opthamologist in the house? Because the thing is, if I close my eyes there this glowing blue image in the lower right that says GALF.

Sill Bimmons

I’m a neuro-ophthalmologist! YOURE DYING BRO

jjfozz

Hey fuckers, what’s up?

Sill Bimmons

NAWT TEH RATBIRDS TEE FUCKING HEE

/

I mean, how’s it going bro?

The Maestro

I think every ref should be required to wear a Jerome Boger voice modifier on their mic. It would just make everything better.

VonTazeMeBro

If my life was exciting enough to be a motion picture (it’s not), I would have him narrate. He is my Morgan Freeman.

The Mighty Feklahr
The Mighty Feklahr

This game is amazing