[peeks out from under the covers] Has it started yet? No? Who said I was scared? I’m not scared. Maybe it’s YOU that’s scared. [sighs]
Wash @ NYG: The Giants should be 2-0. Let’s get that out of the way right now. Howevah, The Catastrophic Meltdowns really like the vibe that this team is giving off. As far as Washington is concerned, if this Matt Jones kid is the real thing and Morris keeps going they’ve got a running game that may take them to the NFC East title. Not that that will be a great accomplishment this year. Ain’t sour grapes grand? Cousins’ play is up and down and he doesn’t have D-Jax but the Giants don’t have Rogers-Cromartie so that should be a wash. Beason is ready to give it a go tonight-maybe he’ll make it through the whole game. You just never know, maybe the Giants finally get their *Coughlin* shit *Coughlin* together. We could be looking at another snooze-fest but, “It’s Still Real To Me, Damnit!” What can I say, the scotch is poured. (into an Oktoberfest-sized stein)
FLAG EVERY PUNT!
Flags for the flag god.
Holy shit I am absolutely doing a Warhammer 40k Flags for the Flag God post.
Anyway, good night in the Klingon Empire. My wifey is bringing me home an Italian steak sub and I am nuclear sub on green energy.
I might even actually get 3D glasses and popcorn for this game.
These refs are going to have their throwing arms fall off this game.
NFC East Fever! CATCH IT!
*NFC East player fails to catch it*
Does anyone get the feeling that this Washington team is cursed? Like maybe they built their stadium on a Indian Burial ground, and also they dug up all the Indian corpses and shat all over them while screaming racist obscenities?
I think they are doing just fine with only their name, no need to go all Poltergeist on them.
Actually, yes.
That is exactly how I feel.
ETERNITY OF THE SAFETY
Hey, should I not have gotten drunk before the game?
Does it really matter now?
THAT WOULD COUNT IN THE INSANITY LEAGUE 7 PTS FOR NYG D/ST
Can you run these point rules again? I was either not paying attention or sad that all the fantasy signups were in the two week window I was away, or both.
Check the site under “Scoring Rules.”
Judge Hippo’s blue shirt = NIGHT OF THE SAFETY!!!
THE PROPHECY LIVES!!!!
The Aristocrats!
Safety Cherry Condition: POPPED!!,
SAFETY DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How the fuck you doin’ boys?! What we drinking? For me:
http://www.ninkasibrewing.com/images/beers/beers-large/flagship-total-domination.png
Holy shit my apologies no idea it was that big.
Oh honey, dont apologize for largeness
I’m drinking ALL the pumpkin ales
I had a Smuttynose Pumpkin this afternoon. It was delicious.
Bought a Sam Adams sampler pack. Now drowning in brownish flavors.
Mill Street Organic Ale. I think I’m growing a spontaneous man-bun. Also have shiraz and Dalwhinnie on the go.
/help
They are artificially inventing ways of having the record for punt attempts in a TNF.
Looks like last weeks brief flash of competence was all DC could muster.
Welcome to Puntoberfest!
Thats the third consecutive week that they’ve run that illegal pick play and gotten flagged for it. No one in NFC East apparently knows how to coach.
God, this is going to be a 5-4 final score.
That’s generous, I was going 3-2.
GIVE UP THEYRE NOT LETTING THE PICK GO ANYMORE
are the GREATRIOTS
I think that flag was thrown farther than the football.
KOTW
Drew Stanton and Brian Hoyer? How’d Cousins hold off those all stars.
Evening you beautiful fucking people! Hope all is well with you and yours.
I’m looking forward to a phone interview in the morning. Dear god I hope I get another job. I got the whole rant prepared for when I meet with HR for my exit interview.
It starts with “YOU FUCKERS CAUSED ME A MENTAL BREAKDOWN” and ends with me being led out by security with two tazer darts in my back.
Sounds like fun.
I would like to hire whoever put together that pre-game package to direct my ad campaign for my new line of industrial strength turd polish.
Entropy is your auto refresh still not working
It’s better tonight, thank you.
Sonofabitch, mines not:/
That will be Cousins’ longest pass of the night.
Kirk Cousins was my favorite kid at little league.
There’s no way the Dr. Pepper vendor in those commercials doesn’t have at least 15 corpses stuffed in a crawl space.
In EACH crawlspace!
Josh Brown and Reggie White have something in common imho
Remember when this was a great rivalry? No, because if you were alive for that, you are senile now.
Steady on!
Montage theme – these franchises didn’t always suck ass!
Ok. I have officially stopped drawing for the evening, and I am now ready to pay full attention to every insipid moment of this collision of single-digit IQ football teams. Let the…… mediocre?….. times roll!
FOOTBALL! NOW WITH 50% MORE FLY FISHING!
Guys, I don’t super hate the CBS TNF coverage. But I am a homer for my fellow UNI Panther Kurt Warner, so it is mostly my fault.
I knew in week 2 my season was over when I had to pick up Dexter McLuster today.
hey guys
Hey!
sup hows bein a mom
My boobs are huge and I touch lots of poop, so it’s pretty glorious as of now
sounds like a little slice of paradise imo
Nothing better than poop-glazed boo—- wait. I think I said that wrong.
sup homie
Hey Sill!
Are you someone who can make Derp Condition: Paisley happen?
Because if you are, you should make it and then it’ll be OURS
http://st.depositphotos.com/1008639/1843/v/950/depositphotos_18437937-Paisley.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/G1aCjnp.png
Yall, the Pope is adorable!
It’s weird living in a world where the Pope isn’t a jerk.
Did you see him going into the cathedral? Just non stop smiles and popin’ it up freshness
Compared to Benedict, who looked and acted like he practiced shooting lightning bolts out of his fingers behind Vatican walls, he’s… a saint.
/I’ll be here all week.
Bearcats quarterback did not give the “thumbs-up” when he was carted off. Not good.
I will be eating lebanese food during the first half
I went with a take away Moroccan.
How very ethnic.
Kahless on a Kracker! This could be some kind of Holy Grail of Thursday Night Football. We might learn what lies beyond PLAID.
http://i.imgur.com/xnvmcyh.jpg
My official pick is Skins at home by a safety. (0-2 probably)
My official “Derp Warning Level” is “Plaid*”
(*undetermined)
PAISLEY.
GET ON IT PHOTOSHOP TYPES.
http://st.depositphotos.com/1008639/1843/v/950/depositphotos_18437937-Paisley.jpg
STORNG SUGGESTION, we will have a chance to verify it tonight, it might be the actual “The Washington [*Redacted] s Go Fuck Yourself Christmas Special”.
Cincy Bearcats quaterback was just murdered. I’m not using hyperbole. He may be dead.
That’s horrifying. They just said they won’t show the replay until they assess the situation (figure out if he’s dead or not).
I flip, and they show the replay.
I feel weird for asking this, but how did he get taken off? Couldn’t have possibly gotten off under his own power.
The body board. Loaded him right into the ambulance.
Cincy’s QB just got knocked out.
Bearcats headsets aren’t working? Are any of Memphis’s coaches related to Belichick?
No cheesecake? Aww man…
http://blogchef.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Snickers_cheesecake_2.jpg
Hee hee, nice cheesecake alternative. Clever scotchy!
Judge Hippo presiding, calling Scotchnaut and Doktor Zymm to the stand. As Most Glorious Baseball Cardinals are getting shitcanned, this game has my full and unadulterated pilled/drunken attention. AS IT SHOULD!
Why should we mildly cheer on your footy side this splendid autumn evening? Will you be drunk and entertaining for the masses? Will it further the goals of Most Glorious Commentist Party? Is the other one a clandestine Trotskyite?
Yer Honour,
I’d like to submit the Doktor Zymm has not even appeared yet. AND, I’ve no doubt she’s wearing yoga PANTS. [crowd gasps] I’m done yer honour.
GOOD points! Preferring the company of real boys to imaginary ones, no doubt. Most unfortunate.
I would like to make an application to HIzzoner,
I am filing an amicus brief on behalf of Scotch and his case.
Neutral fans should be rooting for the large men, because this will put them on the path to the playoffs. If we get there, our derpalicious leader, the great Elisha, humorous be his name, can lead the men in blue to a third victory over the Patriots in the Superbowl. This will create both a Pats schadenfreude day, and Pey-Peyfreude day. It will truly be a glorious occasion, for all commentists.
Let January be forever renamed Derpuary. Solid amicusing.
There’s no fun like nomonkeyfun.
Tommy Tubberville has had a weird career arc.
Weird last name as well.
Baby, if you ever wondered. Wondered whatever became of meeeeeeee……
The fans of Texas Tech hated Tuberville more than WIP callers hated McNabb. It was weird.
Watching UC-Memphis on ESPN. Seeing tiger striped helmets but not orange and black looks weird.
Thanks for the reminder. One or both of these teams will be the next targets of Big 12 expansion. I think. MAYBE.
I hope its Cincinnati. They had a few years where they were kings of the Big East, but being in between the Big Ten and the SEC, they can’t compete as an AAC member.
The kings of Big East football was like the one-eyed man in the land of the blind. Or the most loyal Texans fan.
Aw, WCS. You supposed to come rescue teh Wolfpack first…
If it would perpetuate the destruction of the ACC, I’m all for it.
Let’s get it started:
I think she’s looking at you, WCS.
Eliza always gets a like from me.
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–usx5f2sO–/194b93yzsnarapng.png
I’m not gonna tell you what a wash outside of Tucson, AZ is called. I’d get killed for it.