From the journal of PK:

Gosh, what an exciting time it’s been since I joined Door Flies Open! It seems like only yesterday that they welcomed me into their ranks (disclaimer: I am still a prospect, and not a full member) and I have to admit that it’s been the best time of my life. Now I may not know everyone in the club yet (and it’s a big club, so it will take some time) but I do think I know enough to give a quasi-complete rundown of their membership roster.

1. Darkest Timeline Zach Morris. He’s the President, or “Prez” as these cats would say in their hip lingo. I’ve never met him, but something tells me he should get the number one spot anyway.
2. Horatio Cornblower. This guy is something else! I asked him what time it was one day and he said, “Time is a meaningless concept by which the mundane measure the product of their lives.” I don’t really know what that means, but it sure sounds great!
3. Doktor Zymm. Smart. That’s the only way to describe the club’s resident scientist. I don’t know a beaker from a baguette but I do know that I’m hungry right now, and a baguette sounds pretty good! More later.

Back from my break! I went down to that French bakery that everyone likes. Girls scouts were selling cookies at a nearby stand, and they had at least a half-dozen or so customers while I was there. Imagine: a bakery specializing in French goods and an All-American cookie stand less than a block away. What a country!

For those of you interested in my eating habits, I did buy a baguette…OK, I actually bought two. What can I say? I’m a big fan of bread. Many’s the time I’ve enjoyed a Dodgers game with nothing but a loaf of bread and a cup of coffee. That reminds me: Not a fan of French roast. The girl at the counter took my order without asking me what kind of coffee I wanted. Turns out French roast is the house brand. First off, it was too hot. I had to take it back three times before I got it at the temperature I wanted (hot enough that the cup was warm in my hand, but not too hot to drink) and even then it was bitter. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I like my coffee the way I like my candy: sweet, with a lot of chocolate and some whip cream on top. Had to add a lot of cream (called crème at this particular establishment) and four packets of sugar to make it palatable. Didn’t work. Left without leaving a tip.

Where was I? Oh, right! The cookie stand. Bought a box of Caramel DeLites from a Girl Scout. Thought about it, added a box of Tagalongs. Jokingly asked a Girl Scout if she was working her way through college. Her reply?

“Take a hike, pedo. ”

Kids these days!

Found a real coffee stand on the way back. Rough-looking place, I wouldn’t advise taking the whole family there. But they sure knew how to make a good cuppa! Great clientele, real friendly. One fellow asked me if I wanted some, and I quote, “Toot in my bean juice.”  Wow, what a kick! The rest of the afternoon was a bit of a blur, although I do remember being chased out of the duck pond downtown by a couple of policemen. Hey, it’s a public pond!  Well, maybe next time I’ll wear clothes.

A return to rankings :

4. Old School Zero. What a guy! He gave me some advice once. He said, “Stay out of Covalent Blonde’s way if you like your balls the way they are.” What a kidder!
5. Covalent Blonde. The DFO’s enforcer. Some might ask if a woman can do a job that is traditionally done by a man. Heck, I even asked it myself. That was a mistake. Note to self : Buy more Preparation H.
6. Marc Trestmans Windowless Van. Cool guy.  Likes rock & roll as much as I do.  Next time the Beach Boys are in town, I’ll give him a ring.
7. Otto’s Brain.  I’ve got nothing against brains…hey, some of my best friends have them!  But it’s one thing to have one, and another thing to be one.  He might at least want to wear a hat when he’s out in public.

Still catching up on True Detective. Hey, this Matthew McConaughey guy is pretty good! Have to say I like seeing Woody from Cheers on TV again, though. Playing a good family man, to boot. Was going to watch the last season of Mad Men, but Doktor Zymm took my DVR apart to make a tele-location unit for a chronal displacement chamber. What’s that all mean? Your guess is as good as mine.

Off to find more Toot.  Do they sell that in health food stores?  Hey, random thought: add it to a soft drink and call it Tootsie-Cola.  What a concept!

Haiku?  I Do.

My buttocks in pain
What’s an Atomic Wedgie?
Ask Covalent Blonde