“There are three types of American Football Fans-the extrovert, the introvert and the pervert. You can find the pervert outside any local school yard, salivating on the fence. Extroverts however can be seen down at nearby ‘watering holes’ on Sundays. They choose to interact with others of their kind as they fill themselves with various liquids. As the day progresses they tend to lose their balance frequently, use an increased amount of profanity and eat ‘fast food’. The take-out menu, in whatever form it takes, is as important to them as the Bible is for other creatures. Not much is known about the introvert AFF, for obvious reasons.” [to be continued]
GB @ SF: Kaep had 4 intercepts and the Packers D have one in each game. Rodgers is playing lights out as is Lacy so let’s move on-nothing much to see here…
StL @ Ari: Gurley, the future of the run game for the Rams had 6 carries for 9 yards in his debut. Nowhere to go but tits up, maybe sideways against a formidable Cards D that gets pressure. Next week the Rams head to Green Bay-against teams over .500 on the road St. Lou is 3-24-1. They are a better team than this now but their sked is making it difficult to manifest it in the win column. The Larry Fitzgerald Renaissance continues unabated. Arizona has scored at least one TD in the last 9 quarters and Palmer is looking for his 10th straight win.
Min @ Den: As Yeah Right mentioned, the Vikes knock down QB’s with frightening efficiency and Peyton is nothing special these days. He may be able to keep Barr and Co. off-balance initially but he’s going to eat quite a bit of dirt today. As mentioned by everyone, even me, the Bronc’s running game is horseshit. They are dead last in yards per attempt. Word is that CJ gets one last chance at being relevant and then the ball gets in Hillman’s hands.
Cle @ SD: I read somewhere that McCown is 1-12 in his last 13 starts? If you’re starting him in fantasy today I must say, “Congrats! Your season is over!”. Good news on the horizon for the Browns though-Ray “Super Texter” Farmer is back from his suspension on Monday. I imagine he’ll bust a few roster moves. The Chargers need to forget about last week’s whalloping by the Vikes and blitz the hell out of the Browns. I can’t see SD’s CB’s getting burned by whatever ‘talent’ Cleveland bothers to send out onto the field. Rivers to Allen alone should lift the Bolts to the W in this one.
Ah Norv still clearly does not how to utilize AP.
LAMBO: FIRST BLOOD
“God would have mercy. He won’t.”
“I gill you a 3 you won’t believe…”
Chargers have Asian Rambo kicking FGs.
Elysian Dark O’ The Moon, aka molasses spice bread the beer
Foles throws incomplete on third and long. Has he passed Kaep as the 3rd best QB in the west?
/day old chili is warming up
//I luv day old chili
It’s really the best way to do it.
Even greater if you pour beer on it. Even greaterer if you drink said beer with it.
I am really jealous of you right now. That sounds amazing.
KFC should’ve hired Gary Busy to play the new Colonel Sanders instead:
“YOU WANT SOME FUCKIN’ CHICKEN WITH 12 HERBS AND FUCKIN’ SPICES BOYS AND GIRLS? WELL HERE IT IS, SHHHHH, GIVE ME A MINUTE WHILE I GIVE YOU YOUR EXTRA SPICE, DON’T BREAK MY CONCENTRATION…..WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”
http://www.okmoviequotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/8-Point-Break-quotes.gif
San Diego, looking like they’ve been coached to play down to Cleveland’s level.
stomp stomp clap
The rare Sunday in which all three teams of my family (CHI/IND/WSH) win.
(as you can tell with that list, VERY rare indeed)
oh well, Chris Johnson was a non-shitty starter for me for one week. I should never have expected any more than that.
That’s right, Cardinals. Keep the ball away from your best receiver. Fucking Carson Palmer.
Putin’s glorious pirated live sports site is not working for me at all today.
This reminds me of the story about Putin stealing one of Kraft’s Super Bowl rings that I badly want to be true.
I like the other story about how Kraft gave them to Putin and he is a secret Commy
My money’s always been on “insurance scam.”
I BELIEVE
For both Fleshwound and you
http://www.stream2watch.me/
The one I use most.
THANKS
Awesome, thanks!
David Johnson is a fucking beast. Why don’t the desert Cards play him more?
Ford- ” When we say military grade, we mean over Fifty thousand dollars….”
Wait, was that a “Pumpkin Spice Oreo” callout?
God. Dammit.
http://i.imgur.com/KQNIoDa.png
Oh Laserface, i’m gonna need you to harness all that anger that’s been building and take it all out on the Browns today.
I thought sodomy was a sin?
It depends whether you make eye contact or not.
only if god is watching.
Since the death of KSK I have slept in much more, therefore being much more well-rested on Sundays.
Also I get to miss most of the shitty early game (game as in singular; shitty NFL home team blackout rules).
But still have to endure the shitty afternoon game (game as in singular; the NFL hates me and my TV).
I can give you like 7 sites to watch the other games or Redzone
Will never give any more money to the Gingerhammer, even if that means saying no to the Crackzone I MEAN Redzone.
Illegal streams? Therefore sticking it to said Gingerhammer? I am listening…
Hey Norv, RUN THE BALL YA CUNT!
“There’s plenty of room on the Colin Kaepernick bandwagon right now…”
Being this is San Fran, that’s probably codespeak….
And it’s a really overpriced bandwagon.
This is FOX’s America’s Game of the Week? Why does FOX hate America so bad?
At least they’re not CNN. They would have picked the Jets game this morning.
I take it you’ve never watched the ‘news’ channel?
It is owned by an Australian Millionaire. How could you possibly expect him to know what Americans would like?
“Every week I can beat my buddies on FanDuel…”
I bet you do, I bet you do.
Pfffft like that guy has “buddies.”
“FanDuel and chill?”
Usually when there’s too much double a gap pressure, you should go to the bathroom.
When the Jags lose in a manner like they just did, few things bring me greater joy than reading BurritoBrosShits’ Twitter timeline.
Improbably, Rodgers is the one doing the pounding in San Francisco today.
He always seemed to me more as a power bottom.
The Ford Focus RS is powerful by design. We did not make it powerful by accident. Not like the last time.
Rodgers is on another goddamn level right now. Fuck him.
Colts should realistically be 0-4.
Just give up Jaguars.
I’m back. So… what’d I miss?
The Jags jagsing incredibly hard
So, a regular sunday?
It’s okay, I changed my pick’em stuff for them to cover but still lose!
http://i.stack.imgur.com/YW0X6.png
http://cdn1.sbnation.com/imported_assets/326583/coltfan_medium.jpg
Derek from Munice sighting!
Oh, Jags. You had so many chances.
So I scared some people earlier about my health. I feel no residual effects. I expected I wouldn’t feel fine for awhile but I am already back to normal.
That’s important. Glad you’re alright.
Sweaty Jim Tomsula looks like Sweaty Ron Jeremy.
Jags gunna jags
I hate the outside world so much, I am gonna white knuckle through Minny/Denver with only RedZone coverage. And maybe try to find a radio feed if feeling really frisky.
Kicker fail infinity.
I only have MIN/DEN. I don’t have RedZone. I’m thinking about going (gulp) outside.
RESIST! The 14-hour day is footbaw obligation. A true test of commitment.
Nice playcall, Norv.
The only games available for me today are JAX/IND for the early and MIN/DEN for the late.
FML.
You did something terrible in a past life… Or a past weekend. Which ever makes more sense to you.
In NC, I get SF/GB instead of the one good game (that involves my team, naturally).
Why do the Rams play the West so well….and don’t win any other games?
Joe Buck: “Rodgers swallowed up!”
Rodgers: “Nnnngghhh. Thanks dude.”
and my replacement Survivor pick fumbles away the opening goddamned kickoff
http://i795.photobucket.com/albums/yy236/GauchGauch/The%20Simpsons/PDVD_178.jpg
“Oh, I’m bad this this!” — King Hippo
A very funky start for ARI.
We’re making fun of Tony Siragusa’s outfit, right?
“Absolutely!”
-Don Cherry
I’m making fun of everything about Siragusa
#notallJoeBucksbeards
Sweet jesus Hasselbeck is 40.
THIS NFC EAST I CALL IT GOATSE, ‘CAUSE IT’S SO WIDE OPEN RIGHT NOW
So, this next week’s banner quote, right?
Yupppp.
Well, boned in my money league after the early games. At least I’m not at work and there is beer.
So, the NFC East is the new NFC South, which is the new AFC South, which is the old NFC West, which is the new AFC North?
But which one is the new black?
“New black, old black, I don’t care, I’ll fight ’em all.”
– Riley Cooper
yes?
Woooooooo I have RQBOCOP starting for me right now and I don’t give a fuck!
Richie Incognito is BACK! 15 YARDS THE OTHER WAY!
“He just loves the game! He’s a hard worker! He’s just having fun out there! He respects what it takes, not like that pussy, Johnathan Martin!”
— Jason Whitlock, probably
Vikings-Broncos is a great matchup if you like defense, and an even better matchup if you hate offense.