“There are three types of American Football Fans-the extrovert, the introvert and the pervert. You can find the pervert outside any local school yard, salivating on the fence. Extroverts however can be seen down at nearby ‘watering holes’ on Sundays. They choose to interact with others of their kind as they fill themselves with various liquids. As the day progresses they tend to lose their balance frequently, use an increased amount of profanity and eat ‘fast food’. The take-out menu, in whatever form it takes, is as important to them as the Bible is for other creatures. Not much is known about the introvert AFF, for obvious reasons.” [to be continued]
GB @ SF: Kaep had 4 intercepts and the Packers D have one in each game. Rodgers is playing lights out as is Lacy so let’s move on-nothing much to see here…
StL @ Ari: Gurley, the future of the run game for the Rams had 6 carries for 9 yards in his debut. Nowhere to go but tits up, maybe sideways against a formidable Cards D that gets pressure. Next week the Rams head to Green Bay-against teams over .500 on the road St. Lou is 3-24-1. They are a better team than this now but their sked is making it difficult to manifest it in the win column. The Larry Fitzgerald Renaissance continues unabated. Arizona has scored at least one TD in the last 9 quarters and Palmer is looking for his 10th straight win.
Min @ Den: As Yeah Right mentioned, the Vikes knock down QB’s with frightening efficiency and Peyton is nothing special these days. He may be able to keep Barr and Co. off-balance initially but he’s going to eat quite a bit of dirt today. As mentioned by everyone, even me, the Bronc’s running game is horseshit. They are dead last in yards per attempt. Word is that CJ gets one last chance at being relevant and then the ball gets in Hillman’s hands.
Cle @ SD: I read somewhere that McCown is 1-12 in his last 13 starts? If you’re starting him in fantasy today I must say, “Congrats! Your season is over!”. Good news on the horizon for the Browns though-Ray “Super Texter” Farmer is back from his suspension on Monday. I imagine he’ll bust a few roster moves. The Chargers need to forget about last week’s whalloping by the Vikes and blitz the hell out of the Browns. I can’t see SD’s CB’s getting burned by whatever ‘talent’ Cleveland bothers to send out onto the field. Rivers to Allen alone should lift the Bolts to the W in this one.
So the first thijg Manning does after he retires is ousting papa john from the company, right?
Before or after Eli buys into Papa Murphys?
No, actually that’s the second thing… the first thing is killing Sarah Connor.
I couldn’t possibly offer an opinion on whether that’s a catch by Diggs.
Denver: Who is this Diggs guy?
Minny: [shrugs] Damned if I know.
Every time they show the long view of Levi’s Stadium, I keep expecting to see Seth Rollins cashing in his MITB briefcase.
Meanwhile at NFL HQ, they are flipping a coin to see if that was a catch or not.
Wade Phillips vs. Nov Turner
http://www.wrestlecrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/they-live-knees.gif
I’ll see you fuckdicks for the night cap.
I don’t think Bridgewater is going to survive this.
http://i.imgur.com/La62E.gif
Why is Asiata still a thing?
Wait, I can’t remember. Are we at war with EurAsiata or EastAsiata?
Cook has feasted on Mathieu every single time the teams have played.
Wade Phillips vs. Norv Turner feels like the classic matchup of a good coordinator vs. a guy with a reputation for being a good coordinator.
Mothra versus Godzuki?
I have no idea which one you are insulting by saying he is ” guy with a reputation for being a good coordinator”.
49ers’s off season…how do you all think compares with NFL history.
Short of say Baltimore, Houston, and the various other teams moving…just on moves made…49er’s had to have had the worse off season ever right?
Numerous Dan Snyder-isms warrant consideration.
Yeah except the Skins were doing “well” minus RGIII first season.
They have a more consistent level of suckiness.
*weren’t*
Derp…stupid english skills…
“Wade Phillips is daring Norv Turner.”
I realize those words are English, I just never expected them to be said in that order.
MEANWHILE in Baseball Land…
https://twitter.com/iamjoonlee/status/650783143818076161
Spider-Man finally gets to pitch. If this is it, I’m gonna miss him.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/1413619/fistful-of-yen-o.gif
Norv: 31 years of mediocrity
I remember how loaded those late 2000s Chargers teams were, and have pitifully Norv squandered them.
Did he say Frank Scagnetti for the Rams off coord?
hahahahaha
Clinton Dix is probably the most popular football player in the Bay area who’s not a 49’er.
Used to be a lot of Clinton Dix activity in Arkansas.
https://vine.co/v/e2irLwj1a5F
Yeah Right be Yeah Wrong?
Thank fuck for McManus.
And the Vikings fans go wild…ish.
BRING BACK RAGNAR AND MATT
…and how are the Packers going to give up the td now?
I kind of wanted to see Peypey scramble there.
I’m thinking of doing a really in-depth review of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale for a future Kommenter Beer Barrel. Would this be of any use or entertainment value to anyone?
I think this could be a good idea. Maybe make it a roundtable? I feel like there could be some really good stories/input from everyone on such a reliable, go-to beer.
Ooh, I like the roundtable idea alot.
Since when is Brown the “let him go get it” guy?
I have SF/GB as my late game. Is MIN/Den the game everyone else is getting?
How long until Fischer goes to the nothing-but-trick-plays offense?
To be honest, Norval is indeed giving the ball to Adrian Peterson.
He is just doing a very, very shitty job doing so.
The Derpcon Level is strong in San Fran….
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_35L759gCLTI/TSjAHZpcK7I/AAAAAAAACnY/eAoqTyPchwM/s1600/Screenshot-defcon.png
Mmhello friends. Any time the Giants win my sanity is safe for the following week. So that’s good.
But that week is cursed!
But its free frogurt week!
“GRANDFATHERED is the favourite new comedy of the fall” the lying Fox Network said.
“GRANDFATHERED would not have been eligible to air on Fox under our new sitcom criteria.”
“AP, who the fuck is that!?!”
-Norv Turner
Maybe he thinks Peterson will tan his hide?
Michael Caine isnt enough to salvage that movie for me
Bridgewater doesn’t know what he’s doing.
DirecTV Sunday Ticket internet access + Chromecast = fuck yeah gimme a beer
COME ON, VON SAFETY!!!
Oh man I kinda want poached eggs on toast right now.
FREAK
I think I might be pregnant.
Have you told Mrs. Snow yet? or are you afraid she’ll like, try to push you dwn a flight of stairs?
I actually tell her I’m pregnant every time she has the hiccups, to try to scare her. It never works. 🙁
Great. Now I’m hungry for that
You misspelled “whiskey.”
Not sure how the Hillman TD will be credited to the wonderfulness of Peyton but it will happen.
TOUCHDOWN RUNNY HILLMAN
Wait, offensive TDs are allowed? And positive rushing plays? WEIRD!!
“Peyton Manning really leadership’ed that touchdown run.” — Announcers
Some dude in San Fran just ran into a B.J. …..pretty sure that’s not the first time that’s happened.
#BlackLoavesMatter
Dear Burger King,
Bread should not be black.
“I agree! White is right!”
— Riley Cooper
“I disagree.” — The Plague
#blackbreadmatters
“That ain’t bread.”
-BK
Having a health scare is terrible but the aftermath is great. This game is awful like the 2 before it but I still have a grin on my face for no reason that won’t go away.
Because you feel exponentially better than you were expecting?
I mean, there are NO EXCUSES to miss any of teh 14 hours TODAY, but you could maybe see a doctor tomorrow.
I believe a clandestine meeting with a drug dealer would be a valid excuse, provided you were obtaining a true controlled substance and not like Tylenol with codeine.
Yes, as long as you limit your absence to the absolute minimum.
Just become better friends with your drug dealer so he will drive over to your place.
Have NFL kickers gone full retard. I don’t remember this many missed makeable FGs in a long time.
They’re all playing on either a torn ACL or sprained Achilles,master years of hearing “kickers aren’t real footbaw players!” from all the ESPN talking heads?
It’s because field goals are too easy, right guys?
Fucking Walsh…
Kickers for Week 4 Least
FGkakke in teh altitude
Yet another kicker with a case of the Scobees
Bridgewater’s arm strength.
http://lovelace-media.imgix.net/uploads/541/472d0370-7288-0132-4378-0ebc4eccb42f.gif?
Keenan McCardell mention!
/love that guy!
I can Digg it.
“That’s what I thought.”
-Cyrus
HOLY SHIT BRIDGEWATER!!!!