Phase Three-The Late Afternoon Slate

“There are three types of American Football Fans-the extrovert, the introvert and the pervert. You can find the pervert outside any local school yard, salivating on the fence. Extroverts however can be seen down at nearby ‘watering holes’ on Sundays. They choose to interact with others of their kind as they fill themselves with various liquids. As the day progresses they tend to lose their balance frequently, use an increased amount of profanity and eat ‘fast food’. The take-out menu, in whatever form it takes, is as important to them as the Bible is for other creatures. Not much is known about the introvert AFF, for obvious reasons.” [to be continued]

GB @ SF: Kaep had 4 intercepts and the Packers D have one in each game. Rodgers is playing lights out as is Lacy so let’s move on-nothing much to see here…

StL @ Ari: Gurley, the future of the run game for the Rams had 6 carries for 9 yards in his debut. Nowhere to go but tits up, maybe sideways against a formidable Cards D that gets pressure. Next week the Rams head to Green Bay-against teams over .500 on the road St. Lou is 3-24-1. They are a better team than this now but their sked is making it difficult to manifest it in the win column. The Larry Fitzgerald Renaissance continues unabated. Arizona has scored at least one TD in the last 9 quarters and Palmer is looking for his 10th straight win.

Min @ Den: As Yeah Right mentioned, the Vikes knock down QB’s with frightening efficiency and Peyton is nothing special these days. He may be able to keep Barr and Co. off-balance initially but he’s going to eat quite a bit of dirt today. As mentioned by everyone, even me, the Bronc’s running game is horseshit. They are dead last in yards per attempt. Word is that CJ gets one last chance at being relevant and then the ball gets in Hillman’s hands.

Cle @ SD: I read somewhere that McCown is 1-12 in his last 13 starts? If you’re starting him in fantasy today I must say, “Congrats! Your season is over!”. Good news on the horizon for the Browns though-Ray “Super Texter” Farmer is back from his suspension on Monday. I imagine he’ll bust a few roster moves. The Chargers need to forget about last week’s whalloping by the Vikes and blitz the hell out of the Browns. I can’t see SD’s CB’s getting burned by whatever ‘talent’ Cleveland bothers to send out onto the field. Rivers to Allen alone should lift the Bolts to the W in this one.

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So the first thijg Manning does after he retires is ousting papa john from the company, right?

Beerguyrob

Before or after Eli buys into Papa Murphys?

John Difool

No, actually that’s the second thing… the first thing is killing Sarah Connor.

makeitsnowondem

I couldn’t possibly offer an opinion on whether that’s a catch by Diggs.

Beerguyrob

Every time they show the long view of Levi’s Stadium, I keep expecting to see Seth Rollins cashing in his MITB briefcase.

Sharkbait

Meanwhile at NFL HQ, they are flipping a coin to see if that was a catch or not.

John Difool
WCS

I’ll see you fuckdicks for the night cap.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

I don’t think Bridgewater is going to survive this.
http://i.imgur.com/La62E.gif

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Why is Asiata still a thing?

Old School Zero

Wait, I can’t remember. Are we at war with EurAsiata or EastAsiata?

blaxabbath

Cook has feasted on Mathieu every single time the teams have played.

makeitsnowondem

Wade Phillips vs. Norv Turner feels like the classic matchup of a good coordinator vs. a guy with a reputation for being a good coordinator.

Beerguyrob

Mothra versus Godzuki?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have no idea which one you are insulting by saying he is ” guy with a reputation for being a good coordinator”.

JustStopDude

49ers’s off season…how do you all think compares with NFL history.

Short of say Baltimore, Houston, and the various other teams moving…just on moves made…49er’s had to have had the worse off season ever right?

WCS

Numerous Dan Snyder-isms warrant consideration.

JustStopDude

Yeah except the Skins were doing “well” minus RGIII first season.

They have a more consistent level of suckiness.

JustStopDude

*weren’t*

Derp…stupid english skills…

Beerguyrob

“Wade Phillips is daring Norv Turner.”

I realize those words are English, I just never expected them to be said in that order.

fleshwound_NPG
Senor Weaselo

Spider-Man finally gets to pitch. If this is it, I’m gonna miss him.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Norv: 31 years of mediocrity

I remember how loaded those late 2000s Chargers teams were, and have pitifully Norv squandered them.

ThePirateSloth

Did he say Frank Scagnetti for the Rams off coord?

hahahahaha

John Difool

Clinton Dix is probably the most popular football player in the Bay area who’s not a 49’er.

Old School Zero

Used to be a lot of Clinton Dix activity in Arkansas.

fleshwound_NPG
King Hippo

Thank fuck for McManus.

fleshwound_NPG

And the Vikings fans go wild…ish.

Senor Weaselo

BRING BACK RAGNAR AND MATT

Beerguyrob

…and how are the Packers going to give up the td now?

I kind of wanted to see Peypey scramble there.

makeitsnowondem

I’m thinking of doing a really in-depth review of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale for a future Kommenter Beer Barrel. Would this be of any use or entertainment value to anyone?

Old School Zero

I think this could be a good idea. Maybe make it a roundtable? I feel like there could be some really good stories/input from everyone on such a reliable, go-to beer.

makeitsnowondem

Ooh, I like the roundtable idea alot.

blaxabbath

Since when is Brown the “let him go get it” guy?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have SF/GB as my late game. Is MIN/Den the game everyone else is getting?

blaxabbath

How long until Fischer goes to the nothing-but-trick-plays offense?

fleshwound_NPG

To be honest, Norval is indeed giving the ball to Adrian Peterson.
He is just doing a very, very shitty job doing so.

John Difool
Bloody Lethal

Mmhello friends. Any time the Giants win my sanity is safe for the following week. So that’s good.

Old School Zero

But that week is cursed!

Sharkbait

But its free frogurt week!

makeitsnowondem

“GRANDFATHERED would not have been eligible to air on Fox under our new sitcom criteria.”

Dick E. Phuck

“AP, who the fuck is that!?!”
-Norv Turner

Maybe he thinks Peterson will tan his hide?

Sharkbait

Michael Caine isnt enough to salvage that movie for me

Old School Zero

DirecTV Sunday Ticket internet access + Chromecast = fuck yeah gimme a beer

King Hippo

COME ON, VON SAFETY!!!

makeitsnowondem

Oh man I kinda want poached eggs on toast right now.

Old School Zero

FREAK

makeitsnowondem

I think I might be pregnant.

King Hippo

Have you told Mrs. Snow yet? or are you afraid she’ll like, try to push you dwn a flight of stairs?

makeitsnowondem

I actually tell her I’m pregnant every time she has the hiccups, to try to scare her. It never works. 🙁

Moonbatting Average

Great. Now I’m hungry for that

entropy

You misspelled “whiskey.”

makeitsnowondem

TOUCHDOWN RUNNY HILLMAN

King Hippo

Wait, offensive TDs are allowed? And positive rushing plays? WEIRD!!

Old School Zero

“Peyton Manning really leadership’ed that touchdown run.” — Announcers

John Difool

Some dude in San Fran just ran into a B.J. …..pretty sure that’s not the first time that’s happened.

John Difool

#BlackLoavesMatter

Sharkbait

Dear Burger King,
Bread should not be black.

WCS

“I agree! White is right!”

— Riley Cooper

Old School Zero

“I disagree.” — The Plague

bourb0nblues

#blackbreadmatters

blaxabbath

“That ain’t bread.”

-BK

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Having a health scare is terrible but the aftermath is great. This game is awful like the 2 before it but I still have a grin on my face for no reason that won’t go away.

entropy

Because you feel exponentially better than you were expecting?

King Hippo

I mean, there are NO EXCUSES to miss any of teh 14 hours TODAY, but you could maybe see a doctor tomorrow.

entropy

I believe a clandestine meeting with a drug dealer would be a valid excuse, provided you were obtaining a true controlled substance and not like Tylenol with codeine.

King Hippo

Yes, as long as you limit your absence to the absolute minimum.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Just become better friends with your drug dealer so he will drive over to your place.

Have NFL kickers gone full retard. I don’t remember this many missed makeable FGs in a long time.

entropy

They’re all playing on either a torn ACL or sprained Achilles,master years of hearing “kickers aren’t real footbaw players!” from all the ESPN talking heads?

Senor Weaselo

It’s because field goals are too easy, right guys?

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Fucking Walsh…

fleshwound_NPG

Kickers for Week 4 Least

King Hippo

FGkakke in teh altitude

Sharkbait

Yet another kicker with a case of the Scobees

Dick E. Phuck
tundrajim

I can Digg it.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

HOLY SHIT BRIDGEWATER!!!!