AFC South Fever-Catch It! Your Thursday Nighter Open Thread

Indy @ Hou: Arian is coming back to full strength against the right team-versus the Colts he averages a TD per game, 120 rush yards and 6 ypc. Is there anyone who can’t  run against Indy? I don’t think so. Here’s betting that Mallethoyer has the sort of game that will have the Texan fan screaming for Hoyermallet to start the following week. As of this writing (Wednesday) both Luck and Hasselbeck were questionable which led to the re-signing of Josh Johnson. Needless to say, one of the questionables will be dragging his carcass onto the field Thursday evening. You know how teams end up regretting not re-upping a star player because he ended up on a division rival and went on to show that he could still be productive?-Texans management doesn’t feel that way about Andre Johnson. At the rate he’s going, Donte Moncrief (no relation to Sidney Moncrief, the do-everything 6’4″ guard for the Milwaukee Bucks in the 80’s that was asked to guard everyone from Jordan to Dr. J to Larry Bird and never got the credit he deserved and was my childhood hero, dammit!) is going to be the guy that ends up getting double coverage, leaving T.Y. to wonder, “hey, what about me?”.

 

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JustStopDude

“Never seen that look…”

So has Phil never seen cowboy boots before or is Jim Nantz like just wearing boots and no pants?

WCS

Over/under this game ends in a 6-4 overtime score?

Senor Weaselo

It would be nice if they gave us more than five minutes notice “Oh by the way, Nodor.”

Signed,
Everyone making picks

I wonder what the Schwarzschild radius is for O’Brien’s chin ass.

makeitsnowondem

Dan Campbell is Gaston from Beauty and the Beast IRL.

Senor Weaselo

Who does no one care more about, the Texans or the Astros?

MikeMartzColorsDontRun

ASTROS APATHY IS SUPERIOR

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Tampa bay Rays

Old School Zero

So it’s Colts against… who?

Stabby Pants

According to that intro, JJ Watt by himself.

John Difool

HOW THE FUCK YA’ DOIN’ BOYS

JustStopDude

Just watching the game…my agent called and told me Indy was interested in me as backup QB to Hasselback, but I turned him down as I didn’t want to get killed on National TV.

Also didn’t realize I had an agent…could have been a Nigerian scam.

entropy

Who the fuck accused Ryan Mallet of having talent?,

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Brian Cushing: NFL player least likely to win a noble prize

Stabby Pants

Remember last weeks game no one wanted to win? Yeah, that shit’s gonna look like the fucking super bowl compared to tonight’s game.

entropy

2Cellos, for Indianapolis and Houston, two cities whoseulations couldn’t properly identify the instrument at gun point, or unless it was sculpted from cheese. Nice choice, NFL.

JustStopDude

You can fit pills in those things to get your stuff through airports?

-Jimmy Irsay

Mother Puncher

“I preferred the Zac Brown Band commercial.”

-Everybody from Houston and Indianapolis.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

So which one of us will be playing qb for the colts in the second half?

makeitsnowondem

I can’t believe they could only afford one broke girl for the voiceover.

JustStopDude

You would think that Geico would pay for a more realistic actor to play Kenny Rogers than the dude wearing the mask in that commercial…

Stabby Pants

Can’t find a Denny’s? McDonalds now serves breakfast all day.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

It will come in handy once every 2 years

Stabby Pants

Playing with an infection? Sounds like a Schiano Man.

Sill Bimmons

Can’t spell “Most Valuable Player” without MRSA.

Smithchez

It’s always a good sign when your QB’s mindset is “Just get though these 4 quarters so you can get healthy.”

Stabby Pants

Just tuning in. Has the NFL given the daily fantasy sites the full Ray and Janay Rice treatment or do we still get to watch their wonderful commercials?

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Hasselback vs Mallett AKA The Siege of Caffa, because there’s going to be maladies hurled throughout the entire game.
comment image

JustStopDude
HuhSJ20

I hope Matthew Hasselback throws up on the field

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I was hoping Sarah would.

Sill Bimmons

I mith Mayock.

PunchRockgroin

Hello Friends!

Mother Puncher
makeitsnowondem

This isn’t the first Thursday night game, and it probably won’t be the last Thursday night game, but it might very well be the most Thursday night game.

Kungjitsu

Thursday, November 19, 2015. Jags/Titans.

entropy

That’s like the start of Terminator 2.

“Thursday, Movember 19, 2015, the NFL Network became self-aware and shot itself in the virtual head to save us all from another Jaguars/Titans prime time game, As fans, we were grateful, but stuck watching Hockey or early season NBA… dark times.”

makeitsnowondem

See, I don’t know, though. There’s the Titans, and then there’s the injury-crippled Disaster Colts.

entropy

More hitting in this GIF than tonight’s entire game.

nomonkeyfun

Is there a little Parisian boy in that trunk?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Now with early age CTE!

Wakezilla

Matt Hasselback? Holy shit! He’s on the team because he buys Irsays drugs or because their is a lack of quality QBs?

entropy

Irsay heard that “we’re gonna SCORE!” quote WAAAYYYYYY out of context.

entropy

Bill Cowher is doing his damnedest to sound breathlessly excited for this game.

Mother Puncher

Did I mishear, or did he call Deion “Jamal, I mean Jerome, I mean…”

entropy

It’s OK, he has a lot of black friends.

Kungjitsu

The AFC South: the dingleberry of NFL divisions.

Mother Puncher

As somebody who never played football: How does your nose manage to get so fucked up when you’re wearing a helmet?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Your face mask get pushed down so the front of the helmet is over your eye and comes down on the bridge of you nose.

My mom got me a helmet that I would “grow into” in Jr. High, never broke it but lost a lot of skin.

Kungjitsu

The mask and the helmet bend. So you got a 300lb guy moving at 10mph slamming his head into another 300lb guy moving at 10mph in the opposite direction and Neil DeGrasse Tyson is your uncle.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
entropy

Hasselbeck is gonna give the gift of infection with his interceptions!

Kungjitsu

Lindy Infante: Greatest coach in Jacksonville Bulls history. #USFL

Wakezilla

I drafted my fantasy hockey team sober for the first time in years. Never. Again. It was like a terrible nightmare that I couldn’t stop. If this was a keeper league, I’d be stacked, as I have Eichel, McDavid, Nichuskin, Terevauinen and Drouin. Alas, it’s not. Maybe I’ll get lucky and those guys will have monster years.

Man, this game has snooze fest written all over it. Damn.

Mother Puncher

Fuck, looks like Williams is out Sunday. I have to start Gore tonight, don’t I.

entropy

You’d miss that 2.83 points he’s gonna get you if you don’t.

litre_cola

I just lost a matchup last week by .46 due to a stat correction to Carr fumbling the ball. Are you fucking kidding me. 0 fer in both leagues, the Eagles are a dumpster fire, at least I have you booze.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

hey guys

WCS

Guten abend.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Looks like some kind of damn casserole.

nomonkeyfun

She’s got a well stacked… I mean well stocked kitchen.

Wakezilla

She seems really nice. I hope she doesn’t burn herself.

entropy

The Worldwide Leader is interviewing emotional old folks regarding the small bears’ making it to the World Series…. these guys are crying, wishing their parents had seen it, loved ones who’d passed on, etc, in general acting like the Cubs are in the WS tomorrow. What the fuck, ESPN? There are two series to go before we need this kind of shit on TV! Uncool, man. Uncool.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

No, no- I need Cub Fan tears to nourish me.

entropy

I’m OK with fan tears when it’s someone who has “maybe next year” still in them (and may live to see it), but when it’s like my grandma getting interviewed and crying on TV, I get a bit annoyed.

Mother Puncher

Anybody else enjoying Matt Jackson’s Jeopardy run?

WCS

I didn’t like him at first — he came off WAY too excited in his first few games –, but he’s certainly calmed down, and is just crushing faces right now. He may break $300,000 tomorrow. GOD DAMN.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Is there anyone who can’t run against Indy?
Uh hellooooooo… http://www.thedrawplay.com/comic/trent-richardson-comes-to-the-raiders/

MikeMartzColorsDontRun

u rather be hood rich or T rich?
#trickquestion

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Those who have eaten a *LOT* of cheese?

Mother Puncher

For anybody that hates the new Filmdrunk layout:

http://uproxx.com/author/vince/

entropy

That layout is awful. There isn’t a single platform it looks decent on. Reminds me of amateur website coding from 2001-2004.

MikeMartzColorsDontRun

I’ll be fully honest with you ladies n germs, tonight’s TNF is just backup commercial avoidance viewing for me in lieu of watching some hot hot hockey action on NBCSN. My love for the nhl and the nfl are approximately equal, but this Colts vTexans game looks on paper to be about as appealing as a fresh dish of Goodell droppings soooo

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I have no problem with this opinion and fully support you in your channel switching, and wish, though it is impossible that commercial align with HOT GAME ACTION on the other channel.

http://38.media.tumblr.com/58f73a833e8bdfdfbed91e393d2158d7/tumblr_ntc7t5FLgT1qzk2apo1_500.gif

entropy

Are you implying there might be HOT GAME ACTION at all in tonight’s exhibition game?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Maybe not on the ice.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

FUCK THAT SHIT! WATCH YOUR ICE FUBAW IN JUNE, YOU SLACKWIT. “THOUGH SHALT HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME!!!” -JERRY RICE’S LETTER TO THE PHILADELPHIANS

Sorry- I think I had some sort of seizure there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Horatio Cornblower

AFC South Fever-Catch It!

Man, these anti-vaccination campaigns get worse every day.

entropy

So, with Luck going as Chad Pennington for Halloween and Hasselbeck coming down with Captain Trips, who is going to be the Fat Humps’ QB tonight? Are they just going to direct snap to a platoon back who is allowed to throw is he believes it will succeed (or not be intercepted, which is the same thing for Indy this season)?

WCS

I think we all know how the Clots should sign…

http://assets.sbnation.com/imported_assets/22678/sexy_20rexy_20front.jpg

Even Fat Humps need sweet, sweet love.

entropy

At this point, why the fuck not? Both Indy and Houston know their seasons are gone, and their QB situations are a joke, so why not go all out? Sign a truly entertaining QB and just see what happens. Can’t be worse than Mallethoyer or HasselLuck.

Wakezilla

Bring on Sorgi!

WCS

The first of what will undoubtedly be very, very many class-action suits was filed against DraftDuel and FanKings today. Any of you law-talking-guys think it will proceed?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Soon to be FanDraftKingsDual, part of the Comcast Family?

entropy

In partnership with Clear Channel and Time Warner Cable, completing the “Family of Thimgs That Suck.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That if you want this product you’ll pay us through the fucking nose or do without?

entropy

All three companies’ motto!

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