Indy @ Hou: Arian is coming back to full strength against the right team-versus the Colts he averages a TD per game, 120 rush yards and 6 ypc. Is there anyone who can’t run against Indy? I don’t think so. Here’s betting that Mallethoyer has the sort of game that will have the Texan fan screaming for Hoyermallet to start the following week. As of this writing (Wednesday) both Luck and Hasselbeck were questionable which led to the re-signing of Josh Johnson. Needless to say, one of the questionables will be dragging his carcass onto the field Thursday evening. You know how teams end up regretting not re-upping a star player because he ended up on a division rival and went on to show that he could still be productive?-Texans management doesn’t feel that way about Andre Johnson. At the rate he’s going, Donte Moncrief (no relation to Sidney Moncrief, the do-everything 6’4″ guard for the Milwaukee Bucks in the 80’s that was asked to guard everyone from Jordan to Dr. J to Larry Bird and never got the credit he deserved and was my childhood hero, dammit!) is going to be the guy that ends up getting double coverage, leaving T.Y. to wonder, “hey, what about me?”.
HOYER FUCKING SHIT
Hoyer bomb!!!!
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I didn’t even think that throw was going to make it to the end zone.
It looked like kids playing “500” on the playground.
Holy shit
Thats it. Everyone is cut.
Oh Shit.
Quick hitter derp, because sure.
Does anyone else assume that there’s a full team in the booth desperately trying to explain to Phil how and why he’s wrong about everything he says?
THE FLAG GODS ARE CAPRICIOUS AND VINDICTIVE. HALF TIME IS DELAYED.
How many more penalties will be in the next 9 seconds? I say 4.
What if every team followed Houstons naming conventions?
The Indianapolis mouthbreathers
The Green Bay fatasses
My favorite team: the New York Assholes
The Denver Smelly Hippies
The New Orleans Drunkards.
The Jersey Mooks.
The Cleveland Browns
WE’VE REALLY PUT THE APP IN APPLEB–[hit by truck carrying ten tons of buffalo wings]
OH SHIT HEY EVERYBODY THERE’S BEEN A MASSIVE BUFFALO WINGS SPILL ON THE HIGHWAY AND THEY NEED OUR HELP
Skulls for the Personal Foul Throne!
OH MY GOD THIS HALF WON’T END!
THE FLAG GODS ACCEPT YOUR OFFERING. YOU MAY NOW HAVE OUR GIFT OF HALF TIME.
I sure wish the refs would stop being so flag-shy this year.
Ryan Mallet: The Sulkinator
He should back up catler
Say what you will about Hoyer, but he’s really good at throwing it away.
“Save the Sack” should be a thing for prostate cancer awareness month.
SHADES OF FRANK REICH
“Frankreich” means “France” in German.
I wonder if his parents knew that.
Did O’Brien just ask for a first down, too?
Hoyer competent?!???
Temporary Condition.
Now now, Ryan Mallett. You lost your job because you are really bad at football.
WRONG VULTURE
Jesus, time to send the Texans back to Tennessee.
Thier from Arkansas.
Dumbas’s.
Texans have the Mumphreys.
Hasselback and Viniateri, who says you can’t relive your youth?
tex an yew hours
Simms: “Stoppin eeem, dubble teeemin eeem”
Lets just cut the foreplay and put JJ Watt behind the centre or as the running back. Tell me the Oilers wouldn’t be better?
[muscles several people out of the way so that I can be the first in line to purchase tickets for The Last Witch Hunter]
Why would they call a time out there?
My theory is that they are coached by an idiot.
and they do it AGAIN??
I suggest that they are not, in fact, coached.
God, how did they ever get Terrell Owens to talk about himself?
Sodium pentothal.
The Texans could use his drops
http://38.media.tumblr.com/29d8ee69fb20e8c306c50334c71daabc/tumblr_n67rqaLN5D1reysmlo1_250.gif
Not sploosh, maybe splish.
Hey guys! What’d I miss?
That was a rhetorical question.
Pretty sure Arian Foster doesn’t have a concussion….BECAUSE WAHRGABBLE COOLER
RHYMING ADS SUCK MAKE IT FUCKING STOP
Ireland beat Germany in WC qualifying?
Yeah the German defense got caught napping and mueller missed a sitter
Euros not WC
Yeah, reading comprehension no good.
We usually get caught napping.
Army Group B
Also Paulus’ left flank.
“The Italians and Hungarians will be fine!”
Now THAT’S a meteor matchup!
http://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/1362764849_Russian-Meteor-sightings-in-outer-space.jpg
Obviously Foster has a concussion. He can’t even lift up a tray of drinks properly.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/e11b7261cd9a5ed50802eca07b4f2d5c/tumblr_nb3jmc2wrW1tpmgf1o1_400.gif
Wow, the most intelligent Confederate flag wavers. He didn’t put gunpowder in that barrel.
Shocking that there haven’t been any VW ads tonight…
I love working for a Japanese company….I just got this email involving an order. So not only is our factory not going to meet the deadline they agreed to, they bumped our price by $40k. When I request…you know…a fucking explanation as to what the fuck they are thinking fucking us here, I get this.
“I have already responded by attached e-mail,
41,231.1 USD is correct.
Thanks and please kindly understand that.”
The attached email is the dude’s original email announcing the arbitrary price increase and the fucking fact that they won’t meet the production deadline. I get to call Columbia and get screamed at in Spanish come morning.
Jim Irsay heard about fresh powder and immediately bought a new Mazda CX-3
Who the hell throws a party for getting a new cellphone?
Unfotunately for Arian Foster, the Texas Uniform Concussion Protocol requires players to identify Jesus as their Lord and Savior before being cleared to re-enter the game…
“Now, how many of our Lord and Savior do you see?”
“Uh, three?”
“Clearly he sees the entire Trinity. All right, he’s good.”
I think that’s usually required just to enter Texas.
Oh, phew. When I saw the word “Limitless” I thought it was a news alert about Aldon Smith’s latest D.U.I.
“Limited; less.” — Houston Texans Procedural Comedy
— Houston Texans Fan Club Motto
Bill Belichek still won’t open up about his relationship with his players hot, hot mothers.
‘Cuck your Foncussion Topocrol!’
-Arian Foster
http://31.media.tumblr.com/529d44fefa294889664c57247332c59a/tumblr_nn33qznXYc1t95h1uo1_400.gif
I wonder why they thought that would not end in that manner.
Don’t you mean Fairian Toaster?
Naaaailed it!!
http://31.media.tumblr.com/517540e4d417b69ea8a752836eac2087/tumblr_nqd9c2hQ2c1rsxqqio1_400.gif
It’s a trick, that gif is playing backwards
Car was completely bent up BEFORE the crash.