AFC South Fever-Catch It! Your Thursday Nighter Open Thread

Indy @ Hou: Arian is coming back to full strength against the right team-versus the Colts he averages a TD per game, 120 rush yards and 6 ypc. Is there anyone who can’t  run against Indy? I don’t think so. Here’s betting that Mallethoyer has the sort of game that will have the Texan fan screaming for Hoyermallet to start the following week. As of this writing (Wednesday) both Luck and Hasselbeck were questionable which led to the re-signing of Josh Johnson. Needless to say, one of the questionables will be dragging his carcass onto the field Thursday evening. You know how teams end up regretting not re-upping a star player because he ended up on a division rival and went on to show that he could still be productive?-Texans management doesn’t feel that way about Andre Johnson. At the rate he’s going, Donte Moncrief (no relation to Sidney Moncrief, the do-everything 6’4″ guard for the Milwaukee Bucks in the 80’s that was asked to guard everyone from Jordan to Dr. J to Larry Bird and never got the credit he deserved and was my childhood hero, dammit!) is going to be the guy that ends up getting double coverage, leaving T.Y. to wonder, “hey, what about me?”.

 

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John Difool

HOYER FUCKING SHIT

nomonkeyfun

Hoyer bomb!!!!

JustStopDude

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I didn’t even think that throw was going to make it to the end zone.

JerBear50

It looked like kids playing “500” on the playground.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Holy shit

Stabby Pants

Thats it. Everyone is cut.

Dick E. Phuck

Oh Shit.

Senor Weaselo

Quick hitter derp, because sure.

JerBear50

Does anyone else assume that there’s a full team in the booth desperately trying to explain to Phil how and why he’s wrong about everything he says?

entropy

THE FLAG GODS ARE CAPRICIOUS AND VINDICTIVE. HALF TIME IS DELAYED.

Senor Weaselo

How many more penalties will be in the next 9 seconds? I say 4.

PhilSimmsKentuckyMethCookbook

What if every team followed Houstons naming conventions?

The Indianapolis mouthbreathers
The Green Bay fatasses
My favorite team: the New York Assholes
The Denver Smelly Hippies
The New Orleans Drunkards.

Sill Bimmons

The Jersey Mooks.

Mother Puncher

The Cleveland Browns

makeitsnowondem

WE’VE REALLY PUT THE APP IN APPLEB–[hit by truck carrying ten tons of buffalo wings]

Old School Zero

OH SHIT HEY EVERYBODY THERE’S BEEN A MASSIVE BUFFALO WINGS SPILL ON THE HIGHWAY AND THEY NEED OUR HELP

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Skulls for the Personal Foul Throne!

JustStopDude

OH MY GOD THIS HALF WON’T END!

entropy

THE FLAG GODS ACCEPT YOUR OFFERING. YOU MAY NOW HAVE OUR GIFT OF HALF TIME.

evilbeaver8

I sure wish the refs would stop being so flag-shy this year.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Ryan Mallet: The Sulkinator

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

He should back up catler

Mother Puncher

Say what you will about Hoyer, but he’s really good at throwing it away.

John Difool

“Save the Sack” should be a thing for prostate cancer awareness month.

Sill Bimmons

SHADES OF FRANK REICH

Sill Bimmons

“Frankreich” means “France” in German.

I wonder if his parents knew that.

entropy

Did O’Brien just ask for a first down, too?

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Hoyer competent?!???

Stabby Pants

Now now, Ryan Mallett. You lost your job because you are really bad at football.

Sill Bimmons

WRONG VULTURE

Jesus, time to send the Texans back to Tennessee.

Sill Bimmons

Thier from Arkansas.

Dumbas’s.

John Difool

Hasselback and Viniateri, who says you can’t relive your youth?

Old School Zero

tex an yew hours

Moonbatting Average

Simms: “Stoppin eeem, dubble teeemin eeem”

Wakezilla

Lets just cut the foreplay and put JJ Watt behind the centre or as the running back. Tell me the Oilers wouldn’t be better?

Stabby Pants

Why would they call a time out there?

My theory is that they are coached by an idiot.

King Hippo

and they do it AGAIN??

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I suggest that they are not, in fact, coached.

Stabby Pants

God, how did they ever get Terrell Owens to talk about himself?

Sill Bimmons

Sodium pentothal.

Wakezilla

The Texans could use his drops

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Dick E. Phuck

Hey guys! What’d I miss?

That was a rhetorical question.

John Difool

Pretty sure Arian Foster doesn’t have a concussion….BECAUSE WAHRGABBLE COOLER

Sill Bimmons

RHYMING ADS SUCK MAKE IT FUCKING STOP

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Yeah the German defense got caught napping and mueller missed a sitter

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Euros not WC

nomonkeyfun

We usually get caught napping.

Army Group B

Sill Bimmons

Also Paulus’ left flank.

“The Italians and Hungarians will be fine!”

Sill Bimmons
entropy

Obviously Foster has a concussion. He can’t even lift up a tray of drinks properly.

nomonkeyfun

Wow, the most intelligent Confederate flag wavers. He didn’t put gunpowder in that barrel.

Sill Bimmons

Shocking that there haven’t been any VW ads tonight…

JustStopDude

I love working for a Japanese company….I just got this email involving an order. So not only is our factory not going to meet the deadline they agreed to, they bumped our price by $40k. When I request…you know…a fucking explanation as to what the fuck they are thinking fucking us here, I get this.

“I have already responded by attached e-mail,
41,231.1 USD is correct.
Thanks and please kindly understand that.”

The attached email is the dude’s original email announcing the arbitrary price increase and the fucking fact that they won’t meet the production deadline. I get to call Columbia and get screamed at in Spanish come morning.

entropy

Jim Irsay heard about fresh powder and immediately bought a new Mazda CX-3

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Who the hell throws a party for getting a new cellphone?

evilbeaver8

Unfotunately for Arian Foster, the Texas Uniform Concussion Protocol requires players to identify Jesus as their Lord and Savior before being cleared to re-enter the game…

Senor Weaselo

“Now, how many of our Lord and Savior do you see?”
“Uh, three?”
“Clearly he sees the entire Trinity. All right, he’s good.”

JerBear50

I think that’s usually required just to enter Texas.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, phew. When I saw the word “Limitless” I thought it was a news alert about Aldon Smith’s latest D.U.I.

Old School Zero

“Limited; less.” — Houston Texans Procedural Comedy

Sill Bimmons

— Houston Texans Fan Club Motto

Stabby Pants

Bill Belichek still won’t open up about his relationship with his players hot, hot mothers.

Stabby Pants

‘Cuck your Foncussion Topocrol!’

-Arian Foster

I wonder why they thought that would not end in that manner.

Sill Bimmons

Don’t you mean Fairian Toaster?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
blordinaryfagicmox

It’s a trick, that gif is playing backwards

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Car was completely bent up BEFORE the crash.

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