Your Late Game Open Thread

Ari @ Det: The Cards have the 2nd most picks as of Wk. 5. Peterson, a CB that has only given up 85 yards so far, gets Calvin, who despite his overwhelming talent has only one score so far this year. The Spartans probably have a better O-Line than the Lions. Here’s a thought-maybe they should be switched out for this game. I don’t see anything worse happening. Well, at least the D-Line is…oh…uh. They’re shit as well. Tate and Mega have but one score between them. Detroit is in bad shape, folks.

Den @ Oak: Broncs have won last seven against the Raiders. It sure isn’t Peyton (6 TD’s, 5 Int’s) and company that is getting things done, it’s the D. I guess when it was said that the running game was the key to victory this year the word “defense” was mis-pronounced. Cooper looks to keep the wheels turning on an impressive rook season against a secondary that has only given up two TD’s. But he has two TD’s. Spooky, right?

NE @ Dal: The Cowfucks are going to be torn a new asshole today by a 9 TD, no picks Brady that has never lost to them. It’s Ugg’s and Gronk going up against Weeden and umm, Williams? Dallas seems to be completely out-matched here but I’ll [swallows small amount of bile] be cheering for them.

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Moonbatting Average

This is where Dallas fucks me in fantasy with a Witten TD

Col. Duke LaCross

Obviously Princeton’s offense is too complicated for a guy signed three weeks ago to pick up and try a few plays in garbage time.

Horatio Cornblower

Weeden has hit 19 of his last 20 passes…for a total of 32 yards.

Bortleback

Positively quasi-Alex Smith-esque

Moonbatting Average

Super Bowl prediction: Cards over Packers
AFC? Whatever.

CBQUE

I can hear Cowboys fans now: YEE HAW TO HELL WITH THE COWBOYS, HOW BOUT THEM RANGERS. I LOVE ME SOME COLE FIELDER & PRINCE HAMELS. AND THAT ADRIANNE BELTRE IS A PRETTY COOL DUDE.

...

Ha. That’s funny. You think Cowboys fans are from Dallas.

Horatio Cornblower

The Venn diagram between Cowboys fans and Texas Rangers fans looks like a pair of tits.

...

I’m actually curious to know which teams people in the Metroplex root for. I don’t associate them strongly with any team.

Dick E. Phuck

The Patriots have deflated any chance of a Cowboy win.

laserguru

Trent Green: “Now if you watch this play clos…….

http://usercontent2.hubimg.com/1390638_f520.jpg

blaxabbath

Wait – so you now take the extra point off the hash marks if you score near the sideline? Why don’t they get it centered on the field?

CBQUE

I would like to compliment The Bengals on that win but Seattle appears to have a moron as OC and Head Coach. A running back is averaging 5 yards per carry and you keep asking Russell Wilson to win games? unfucking real. Still Cincy’s D is no slouch.

fleshwound_NPG

The one good thing about the Super Bowl goal line play: incompetent pre-2013 Petey Carroll is back and quite possibly for forever this time.

CBQUE

He was always incompetent, didn’t you see the 2006 Rose Bowl? Reggie Bush, 12 yards per play. Key part of the game 4th & 2 where is he? The sideline. Welcome back dumb ass Pete.

Sill Bimmons

S: Edelman illegal motion
O: A little twitchy
A: CTE & PTSD
P: Keep running him out there!

Horatio Cornblower

I was really hoping the Patriots would keep passing so Hardy and McClain could try to kill Brady but it appears the Pats are on to that plan.

Must have seen the tapes or something.

Sill Bimmons

His giant pile of guns is juuuuuuust out of frame.

blaxabbath

Suh can still earn my respect this season.

blaxabbath

Honey Badger gets a late hit penalty on Dan Orlavsky up 42-10.

He will kill Tom Brady in the SB and all will enjoy the Cardinals.

Col. Duke LaCross

Holy shit Raiders, what kind of 4th down playcall was that?

fleshwound_NPG

Rutgers-esque

blackroseMD1

A typical Raiders playcall.

blaxabbath

I think the 0-4 power rankings might be less pathetic than the 1-win rankings….

CBQUE

I could care less but out of all the undefeateds, yes I’m including Carolina, New England to me has been the least impressive. Sorry WEEI but it’s the truth. Beating a Steelers team missing two of it’s best players, an overmatched Buffalo team, Jackosnville and an undermanned Dallas team ain’t that impressive. Sorry Simmons

Sill Bimmons

It’s like you never left.

Moonbatting Average

Disagree. Have you seen Atlanta’s schedule?

CBQUE

They beat The Giants who at least have something other than a gimp playing QB. The Eagles have a solid D. Jacksonville and two crippled opponents?

...

We can only hope.

My Tom Brady hate has reached a new height with his pro-Donald Trump comments and the fact he’s good buddies with one of those bullshit wellness gurus. I now confidently hate him as the dumb fucking jock I’d always hoped he was.

blaxabbath

You know who else had close friends with wellness quacks? ARod and Barry Bonds/Marion Jones/the rest of the BALCO Athletes.

But PK will still put Brady in the HOF because his PED use “wasn’t between the white lines”.

...

I’d be excited about Brady being implicated in a PED scandal if I believed it would genuinely hurt him.

But yeah, you don’t play this late in your career this well without some substances aiding you.

blaxabbath

Or robot parts. #ROBQBOCOP

King Hippo

oh, goddamnit. That was such a pretty play.

I would find it amusing if Denver wins the Super Bowl with Manning playing worse than Trent Dilfer.

King Hippo

Well, the second part is definitely true.

Bortleback

Followed by him being sent to the glue factory by Elway

Dick E. Phuck

Maybe he’ll become a shoutier announcer than Dilfer as well.

CBQUE

I was saying that to a friend of mine the other day that is a Broncos fan. They remind me so much of the 2000 Ravens it’s scary. Score just enough and wait for the D to make a game turning play.Still you have to think Manning will get better, right?

blaxabbath

“It’ll always haunt me that I never won a SB with Denver.”

-Manning holding the Super Bowl L trophy

Dick E. Phuck

What’d you expect from Weeden!? Old people can’t learn new things.

makeitsnowondem

David Bruton just wins games.

blackroseMD1

That’s so Raiders…

King Hippo

WOO!!!!!!!!!!! It is so fucking strange to see a Denver team play this way.

CBQUE

I know it was the Browns but can anyone explain to me how the fuck they wasted a 1st round pick on this piece of shit. My god.

Sill Bimmons

The Factory currently sits idle, locked down after a Haymarket-style lockout riot.

Details in earlier posts.

fleshwound_NPG

Oakland keeps Oaklanding

Moonbatting Average

Toyota ad exec: “So I heard this Mad Max movie was a thing”

Horatio Cornblower

My son totally called that interception. On the snap. After watching Weeden for two plays.

blaxabbath

I’m sorry you have a blind son.

Horatio Cornblower

Still more observant than Garrett apparently.

Romonobyl

All the Doop…

Horatio Cornblower

How bad can Cassel be?

Moonbatting Average

Let’s find out!

CBQUE

Did you see him in KC? Wait don’t do that to yourself

Old School Zero

Weeden just wants his tapioca pudding already.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

He loves to eat it while watching Matlock.

Sill Bimmons

With his hot water bottle.

Dunstan

Fuck it, time to watch the Ice Alouettes. See you all during the late game.

The Maestro

Go ice REDBLACKS!!

Romonobyl

The Patriots are going to win the Super Bowl, aren’t they?

Moonbatting Average

No. They won’t.

blaxabbath

No.

Come on — Dallas is so vulnerable right now…

Dunstan

YES WE FACKIN’ WILL! AND JUST TO GET EVEN WITH GOODELL AND ALL YOU HATAHS! OTHERWISE WE WOULD NAHT HAVE TRIED THIS YE-AH!

CBQUE

Uh hello Green Bay would stomp them. Not only that I think Denver will beat them so they won’t get the home field.

nomonkeyfun

“I can beat them.”

/Finishes juice box.

“Mo-om, can I have another apple juice?”

King Hippo

More Donks herp-a-derp.

CBQUE

Even with Directv I wasn’t paying attention to Cards-Lions what happened to Stafford?

Sill Bimmons

Benched. Sucked.

Romonobyl

He fell off of the NutriSystem wagon.

blaxabbath

Fat fuck. According to the announcers, it’s good to help him maintain his confidence.

John Difool

“What would you call it…. trying to bring down Gronkowski?”

A BRO-DEO

Horatio Cornblower

This has my vote for next week’s tag line.

CBQUE

If i’m Romo I ask for a raise after this season.

Sill Bimmons

You back from curb-stomping Southies?

CBQUE

Nah stopped doing that

Horatio Cornblower

If I’m Romo I’d ask to be traded.

Sill Bimmons

THE HOMOEROTIC COWBOY COMMENTARY DEAR GAWD THE HOMOEROTIC COWBOY COMMENTARY

Horatio Cornblower

Are you sure you’re not watching ‘Brokeback Mountain’?

Sill Bimmons

Nope. Nantz N’ PHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL

Dick E. Phuck

Broncos-Cards super bowl?

blaxabbath

Hello? 5-0 Falcons!

Dick E. Phuck

I think that would be pretty awesome.

Moonbatting Average

No thank you. I’d rather not get embarrassed by the NFC West again

Sill Bimmons
Spur

Until Carson gets hurt……Cards vs. Patriots.

Romonobyl

It’s hard to get upset, I new Dallas would get dismantled, but this still sucks.

Moonbatting Average

I was taking a piss anything interesting happeWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

makeitsnowondem

Goddamn this defense is great though.

Old School Zero

So Peyton Manning is now Trent Dilfer?

King Hippo

WE WISH!!

makeitsnowondem

I hope so.

Poor little Oakland.

The Maestro

Stupidly, I thought they actually had a fighting chance before the game started.

blackroseMD1

I’m not even sure which team I hate worse anymore, the Raiders or the Broncos.

Sill Bimmons

Gotta be the Donks, if only because the Raiders have sucked so bad forever.

Old School Zero

Damnit Derek.

Sill Bimmons

/sigh

Tomorrow night, we duel.

Old School Zero

Bell’s gonna have 400 yards and 8 touchdowns.

Sill Bimmons

ALL YOUR BLUEBERRIES ARE BELONG TO US

blaxabbath

I’m playing ARI’s D in the crazy DFO fantasy league. Had a 30% chance of winning before this game. Now at 93%.

Brick Meathook

Make sure to collect your million dollars on Monday.

Sill Bimmons

It’s in escrow.

$50K entry fee.

King Hippo

Who needs a functional, living QB?

Spur
Sill Bimmons

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sill Bimmons

welp

King Hippo

THANK YOU, CHRIS FUCKING HARRIS!!!!!

Spur

It’s time for some beer and Heroes of the Storm.

Romonobyl

Let’s just call this a “rebuilding year”.

fleshwound_NPG

Forever Oakland

CBQUE

Hey guys. So I guess The Pats are just like whatever rules we have to break to win we’ll just keep doing it because you know the league and the courts are powerless to stop it. Holy shit two picks, my god these assholes are just beneath contempt.

entropy

Not just two picks, two BLATANT picks, uncalled, and even the announcers seemed to praise it. It’s ridiculous.