Your All-Devonta Thursday Night Football Game Open Thread

The Hipp was kind enough to post a JV thread which alludes to the fact that, though we love/hate the NFL ball, we don’t wear sports blinders. On the ice the Sens are playing the Pens and of course the Dodgers are hosting the Mets (deciding amongst themselves who will eventually be decimated by those goddamn PED-using, bat-flipping bastards up in the Toronto). So sit back and relax and I’ll set up the Falcons/Saints for you.

Atl @ NO: Why is the spread only 3, 3.5? Them Vegas-ians know something, don’t they? Julio has hamstring and toe issues-receivers and hamstrings in the same sentence is never a good thing. Devonta is on an epic run [snorts] these last few weeks, piling up yards and TD’s as though they were canned goods in anticipation of a supposed Cubs WS win which would surely signal the end of life as we know it. At this point the Saints look like the teamification of Sunday morning on Bourbon Street. The D can’t do anything  (blitz and hope for the best tonight?) and Drew can’t put up the points like he has in years past. I like Breezy-he got the short straw in San Diego and turned it into a fantastic career. Now however he’s stuck on the down-side with a team that doesn’t look like it will be competitive for 2-3 years. I read somewhere that 21% of their 145 mill. is tied up in paying players no longer on the club. That’ll slow up your rebuilding process. The good news is that Breezy can bathe in his solid gold bathtub, covered in $100 bills-that’ll take the edge off.

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bourb0nblues

So you have Julio open and throw it to… the turf. Wonderful.

Martin

I just started watching the game, and I assume it’s a dumpster fire.

Old School Zero

Confirmed.

jjfozz

So, after each game, what do they do with all of the sideline hats worn by coaches, players, other personnel? Do they recycle them? Give them away? Put them on eBay?

In other news, my brain is kinda fucked.

Sharkbait

Donate them to shelters.

J/K this is the NFL. Incinerator.

Moonbatting Average

The NFL incinerates poor people?!? Actually that sounds about right

blaxabbath

I like how 62 just, you know, stopped blocking.

HIs only job.

Martin

WOOOO! FOOTBALL!

I also hear there’s a TNF game on.

blaxabbath

I like your avatar, btw.

Sharkbait

Kirby Ryan > Rob Ryan

Old School Zero

WHY THE FUCK DID THE SOUND GUY FALL OVER?!?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Because his angle got heard?

WCS

I love college basketball, but, sweet Christ, TBS, we don’t need March Madness commercials in mid-October.

blaxabbath

Just realized the game is on cbs! So now I’m actually watching the game with everyone!

I like to talk about people wanting the Golden Football League. I think I just want the GFL.

Gratliff

A bloody Xavier Woods wrecking shit was clearly superior to this game.

JustStopDude

Steve Gleason on the sidelines…

Man oh man…I don’t know how anyone could deal with ALS. I got spina bifida. Spent a lot of my childhood in a wheel chair. Side note, Dr Ben Carson was the dude that worked on me and fixed my back. Did a pretty good job considering I was able to enlist in the military for six years. Kind of weird seeing that he is crazy now.

I just couldn’t deal with my body breaking down like that. I mean honestly…I think I would intentionally OD if I know I had that to face.

Sharkbait

If I had that I’d probably send the rest of my life chasing the dragon.

JustStopDude

I don’t know how an NFL player could see this and keep want to play. Let me google this…

Okay googling “Former NFL Player ALS” is fucking depressing as hell….

Big Black Richard

Ben Carson is an idiot savant. I would absolutely trust him to operate on me, but if he told me the sky is blue, I wouldn’t believe him until I went outside and checked.

makeitsnowondem

Thought I was done with the Curt Schilling followers and then an hour ago some angry grandpa steps to me. This is exhausting.

Old School Zero

Punch him in his colostomy bag.

makeitsnowondem

So I told him to go back to Lemon Party.

Senor Weaselo

Wait, what fresh hell did you step into?

makeitsnowondem

I accused Curt Schilling of supporting ISIS on Tuesday and I’m still getting @s from his fans today.

Moonbatting Average

The make it snow that Kicked the Hornets Nest, coming to theaters in 2016

nomonkeyfun

I don’t know, but it sounds like good #content for the sight.
“The twits sent to MIS.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That man wears the sock of the greatest generation!

Big Black Richard

Curt Schilling is a second-rate Ted Nugent.

blaxabbath

Had cleared the history, just did the cache. Now I login and it sends me to the admin page. But when I try to return to the homepage, not logged in. Smart move by DTZM, let us produce #content but don’t let me access it. That way I’ll work harder!

*Posted from my Chrome Browser. Chrome: #NoFatChicks*

litre_cola

Oh Mets.

Some hipster just hit a double off of a hippy that Fes from 70’s show missed the dive.

jjfozz

So you let DeAngelo appear in an NFL Family commercial about breast cancer

BUT

You won’t let him wear pink apparel throughout the year to honor his dead mother

FUCK YOU THE FUCKING FUCK ALL TO HELL YOU FUCKWADS AT THE NFL!

Senor Weaselo

I’m hoping that the fact that this has gained any sort of press will make the NFL do something. But it’s the NFL so not gonna happen.

JustStopDude

Why would anything change? These arbitrary rules allow them to take money from the players. And pretty much the NFL could be running a Penn State style Pedo ring and fucking Americans would still keep watching.

Senor Weaselo

Actually that’s a good game: “What would it take to stop people from watching NFL football?”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

League wide dog murder

Big Black Richard

A few deaths on the field. Possibly.

Old School Zero

Fumble coach gonna fumble.

Sill Bimmons

So that happened.

blaxabbath

Also, you guys wanna see a super shitty bicycle kick goal that is on the espn front page?

http://es.pn/1ZH32YX

*Posted from my Chrome Browser. Chrome: It’ll get you high*

Senor Weaselo

Doesn’t there need to be flipping for it to be a bicycle kick?

blaxabbath

I’m sure this has been touched on in the bitching to DTZM, but the WP login doesn’t work for me on Safari as of this weekend. Like, I login on WP then when it auto-directs back to [DFO], I’m still not logged in.

*Posted from my Chrome Browser. Chrome: #upforwhatever*

Senor Weaselo

I get that occasionally. Did you clear your cache/cookies?

Gratliff

I feel like owners of apple products deserve all the bad things that come to them.

litre_cola

Just like people with white sunglasses.

*Sent from my chromebook. Chrome: Oh we got porn

blaxabbath

No shit. I’m a windows boss — paint, word, you name it.

But I like to look cool at the coffee shop.

Gratliff

Work forced an iPhone on me. It’s going to find itself in an oven shortly.

WCS

YOU GET A DERP! AND YOU GET A DERP! AND YOU GET A DERP!

Col. Duke LaCross

That’s what you get for throwing it to Not Brandin Cooks.

Gratliff

Holy fuck. New Day is mixing Beastie Boys bits from Intergalactic. Fuck this game.

jjfozz

I get the feeling that if you’re going to bone an NFL cheerleader, you’re going to have the best chances going after a Saints cheerleader.

King Hippo

TAMPA

Senor Weaselo

Jacksonville?

nomonkeyfun

Unless you’re a non-traditional female, then Carolina’s feline you’re looking for.

litre_cola

What team did that cheerleader get done for statutory? I vote them.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Ravens

nomonkeyfun

Balto.

nomonkeyfun

Fozz should be proud. BTW what happened with that cased?

jjfozz

Full story: she was married to the owner of the power company here in Baltimore, so you know he’s a douche and she’s a cunty gold digger.

She blows the kid, he brags, she gets statutory rape.

So, one year in the pokey but only has to go in on the weekends.

Cue the sleazy jokes about jailhouse lesbo scenarios.

jjfozz

Apparently, the kid she blew would NOT shut up about it. Well, what do you expect? A hot ass cougar cheerleader blows you at the beach – I would have taken an ad out in the New York Times

nomonkeyfun

At least he wasn’t one of those whiny millennial shits that went to the cops.

Sharkbait

Did Pheeeel stroke out trying to say Jimmy Graham?

litre_cola

Jimmy Graham??? Did you know

jjfozz

THIS GAME I CALL IT SUMMER TIME AT A EUROPEAN BEACH, BECAUSE BALLS KEEP FALLING OUT ALL OVER THE PLACE

makeitsnowondem

There it is.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

+1

Sharkbait

/Icefootbaw rant:
HOW DO YOU NOT SCORE ON A 1:45 5 ON 3???
/end rant

WCS

WOOOO ICE STILLERS
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His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

You know he’s going to get concussed at least 10 times this year.

Gratliff

The Metro division is hilariously bad right now.

King Hippo

Regular Season Ice Stillers are always fun to watch.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Falcon Fumbre Part Deux.

King Hippo

May we be gifted with many more.

jjfozz

Classy cause black n white
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MikeWallaceAndGromit

Out yardaged?

jjfozz

I swear to god the Falcons head coach looks like a bouncer I once threw up on

Mother Puncher

At a certain point, you just see everybody as that bouncer you threw up on.

WCS

The Dodgers are trying their damnedest to lose this.

nomonkeyfun

Unfortunately the Mets will try to do more.

Senor Weaselo

I really don’t want to have to root for the Small Bears because, you know, Small Bears.

King Hippo

don’t even fucking joke about such a goddamned awful thing

WCS

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Senor Weaselo

Goddammit make a fucking score point you only have RISP every goddamned inning.

King Hippo

This is so worth staying up all night for guys (and possible gal(s)).

jjfozz

STOP RIGHT NOW MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY!

GO DO ANOTHER SEASON OF TRUE DETECTIVE AND STOP TRYING TO SELL ME SHITTY CARS

Porky Prime

First and third no outs against a good pitcher and Mattingly has Hernandez swing away instead of the squeeze THAT’S WHY YOU SUCK DONNIE.

Senor Weaselo

They’re letting deGrom off the hook way too much. They need to not do that.

JustStopDude

Have you guys tried fanduel? I’ve already have one a gazillion dollars playing. And I can’t way to pull out my money cause I know its going to be easy to do!

litre_cola

Actually, I got mine to paypal in 24 hours. As soon as I saw the law coming I took out my meagre winnings and stake.

Sharkbait

DEEEEEERRRP

King Hippo

That’ll do, not Devonta. That’ll do.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Great, I have Coleman in Sill’s league. A lost fumble is like -267 points.

makeitsnowondem

My league has negative points for fumbles but not for lost fumbles, and I can’t wait for someone to get screwed by this.

litre_cola

I would have really liked to part of that insanity.

makeitsnowondem

atlanta failcons

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Falcon Fumbre.

jjfozz

HERP N DERP

King Hippo

Well, this mean the Snead owners among us will get our satisfaction, at least. There shall soon be no lead to sit upon.

Sharkbait

I approve of this.

litre_cola

Hear, hear.

Old School Zero

This is starting to resemble the game I thought I’d be watching.

Senor Weaselo

No, there’s too many points to be the game you thought you’d be watching.

Old School Zero

Well, except for that.

JustStopDude

Quality defensive play that demands Benny Hill…

Redshirt

If I was the Referee, I would have ruled it Complete just to see everyone’s reaction.

jjfozz

Horror personified
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WCS

Just another Wednesday in Oakland.

litre_cola

WCS, you beat me to it.

Big Black Richard

She’s not at work. She’s not at home watching the game with me.

Is she with another man? If she is, he’d better finish quickly, because I’m falling too far behind here.

Senor Weaselo

Goddammit RaiRaGuarGers go for the jugular.

King Hippo

How the FUCK did they (including the announcers) miss that? I thought I must be going nuts or blind when nobody said anything,