Was @ NYJ: This game features two above average D’s that get it done differently. The Slurs blitz a league-low 11% of the time and the Jets a league-high 53%. QB-wise Cousins has two pick-sixes that have lost games and Fitz hasn’t cracked 1,000 yds yet and has 6 Int’s to go with his 64.5 QBR. TO THE RUN GAME! Ivory is a tough, slug-it-out between the tackles type that usually doesn’t go down after first contact. No wonder he’s had so much trouble with injuries through his career. Morris is a slogger as well, averaging 3.1 ypc this month. Looks like an old-timey fight-it-out-in-the-trenches kind of game to me. I think the under on this game is 3.
Ari @ Pit: Vick has a dog’s breath QBR of 28-dead last in the league but you already knew that and the fact that this game depends on Bell. ‘Zona’s wins have come against NO, the Bears, the 9er’s and Detroit. So yeah, they can beat down their weaker brothers but this is a test I think they’ll fail. According to PFF, DE Heyward and LB Harrison are the 5th and 2nd best at getting QB disruptions at their respective positions. I’m glad to see the Hall of Fame Fitz is having a big bounce-back year-he’s averaging 8+ targets per game and making the most of them, having scored 6 TD’s already.
KC @ Min: In KC, if you look to the West there are Charcandrick’s as far as the eye can see. Most of the talk in that town centers around how exactly will Andy Reid mis-use him. I’m going with, “chews up significant yardage, gets into a groove and then is taken out of the game for seven minutes”. Meanwhile, no worries in Minny about AP-he just moved into 10th place all-time for RB TD’s. As we all know, Smith is faced with the blitz often on 3rd down and can’t handle it. He’s ranked 34th out of 35 qualifying QB’s with respect to QBR on that down-expect the Vikes to have a series of small get-togethers in the Chiefs backfield over the course of the game.
Cin @ Buf: Dalton is my “Five Games In” MVP. He’s racked up 1500+ yards, 11 TD’s with only 2 picks-he’s doing everything right at the moment. Soooo…needless to say, die-hard Bengal-backers are wondering when the other cleat is going to drop. The Bills should get McCoy back today after Boobie brought the 2.7 ypc thunder against the Titans last week. Hey Look!-over there under “Questionable” status, it’s Percy Harvin getting comfortable again. It looks like Manuel gets the start today-maybe he’ll play really well and the Bills will have a QB controversey on their hands? Nah.
Chi @ Det: Yards per pass attempt-wise you’re looking at the two worst teams in the league. Of course an argument could be made that you’re looking at the two worst teams, period. Let’s move on, shall we?
Den @ Cle: The Bronc’s have given up 79 points total so far this year-don’t expect too many more to be added to that total today. What’s got only one functioning arm and is using it to hang on for dear life? The Peyton, that’s what. His 77 QBR is 20 points below his career average. He should use that big noggin of his to figure out that this is his last year. I’ve turned the corner on Josh. He’s thrown for over 1200 yards (to the likes of Barnidge, Bowe, Hartline and Hawkins-though Benjamin has been a surprise) with just the one pick. That said, he’ll probably double that total to two after this game. The Brownies have numerous problems but the QB spot isn’t one of them.
Hou @ Jax: Speaking of doubling up, one of these teams will do so in the win column today. Hopkins is on fire-his 578 yards and 75 targets lead the league. The one game I saw (yeah, I watched a Texans game, come at me) he did whatever the hell he wanted to do on the field, no matter the coverage and with ridiculous ease. Hoyermallet will get the start though if history is any indicator, we may see some Mallethoyer. The Houston coaching staff is looking more and more like that girlfriend that can’t quite decide between the red dress or the green dress. Over at a Jax fan site they’re celebrating the fact that they’re favoured for the first time this year. Hug that one point close Lennie, I mean Jags fans, but not too tight unless you strangle it a la Of Mice And Men. I do think that a steady dose of Yeldon, Hurns and Robinson should get this done though.
Mia @ Ten: Titans have lost their last 7 home games. Ouch. Meanwhile, new coach Campbell had this to say upon being hired, “Miso excited about this opportunity to turn this team around. Rest assured we will play Miller a lot more-he’ll be ramen left, ramen right and ramen right up the middle. Landry will dashi up and down the field, no doubt about that. The D is going to be more aggressive-I’ll be calling for bisques from all directions. We’ve got to get the opposing QB to say to himself, ‘What The Pho?’ Okay, I’ve got to go and prepare my team, GAZPACHO, one and all!”
Your 2016 Cleveland Browns starting QB, Landry Jones.
Welp. Season’s over for Washington.
Now now, they can stil embarrass the Eagles for everybody.
Our season ended the year Dan Snyder bought the team.
#FTTD
Kirk Cousins, god damn.
http://lexfridman.com/blogs/training/files/2013/02/crying-indian.jpg
That Sicilian looks sad
Jetsception after planes collide in mid-air.
I do not think NFL officials know exactly what they are doing, you guys.
That’s the union for ya!
“When in doubt, throw a flag.”
– NFL Officiating Handbook, 2015
I thought the whole thing was just a laminated photo of a flag on the field?
See also, Kirk Cousins.
By my calculation, DirectTV owes me about $2 of football I should have been able to watch today.
http://cdn.meme.am/instances/35728002.jpg
This is a family classic. We have watched this movie so many times.
One MOAR FG, Donks. My heart needs it.
Death by Sanu-Sanu?
/recycled
“That may be a very important play as we get into the 4th quarter here…’
Still four minutes in the 3rd.
All games converge on the 4th quarter.
Scorpion-probably one of the top shows on CBS and I’ve never heard of it.
I believe the plot is “young people are good with computers”.
I think I have a problem with nonprofits (special olympics) doing commercials for Microsoft. This isn’t like a “We use the MS cloud.” This is a non-profit playing the role of a paid actor to sell a product.
Can’t wait for all the jagoff pieces tomorrow about the Dolphins winning after getting a dose of grit and toughness.
I’m gonna throw my oven mitts in the laundry so I’ll be able to handle all the hot taeks.
Time in the dryer on high is like the Oklahoma Drill for oven mitts IMO.
I have had many beers. Time for food. Peanut m&m’s it is!
Really expected PIT to block that with the way this has been going.
Oh good — called for a penalty. Gotta repunt from 10 yards back.
This will be returned for a TD.
I have no fucking clue what’s going on in this game, and for once it’s not due to the incompetence of my team (though they do appear to be pretty incompetent today.) DIE IN A FIRE SUNDAY TICKET.
Consider yourself lucky.
This is why we generally don’t support monopolies.
Hail to the Redzone time…
So Vick is hurt. Which teammate took him out?
Lol, of course it’s snowing in Buffalo. October fucking eighteenth. I love winter, and I’d still shoot myself if I had to live there.
The [*Redacted] s basically give no fucks about playing defense right now, they have developed terminal Kirk Cancer.
I thought that was Catler’s Disease. Or smallpox.
Catler’s disease manifests as extreme apathy, to the point of not caring that you’re married to an anti-vaxxer
Jesus christ, Cards. With the way you’re playing, you would be losing to MICHIGAN.
Someone throw this marketing fuck in the wood chipper.
Anyone have the addresses of any DirectTV executives? I need to know….for a friend. Not for murder or anything.
Jones going full Adrian Neville on that dive.
“A game statistically dominated by the Cardinals”…except for where it counts.
Brandon Marshall showing the [*Redacted] s how to nonoffesively show how your QB sucks while still scoring.
That was purty.
Did Landry Jones get more passing yards on that drive than Vick had all game?
If he had 0, then yes
Vick has 6 passing yards. Landry Jones now has 8.
I was just kidding when I originally posted, but holy shit…how is Pittsburgh still in this game, much less winning?
Arizona is a sham team?
Damn that’s slick multiple migs.
Feel that magic.
Holy shit Marshal, that was an awesome catch!
Alohaception!
Do interceptions on two-point conversions count in fantasy?
No
Boo!
In the insanity league?
Pretty sure they do in the insanity league.
Zac Stacy sighting!
Sheesh, Manning, I’ve seen squib kicks that had better spirals than that.
I’ve seen squab shits with better spirals.
oh wtf
McCown has the situational awareness of those pigeons.
Doesn’t help to be a film hawk when there’s no film on Landry Lones!
I just sneezed for two minutes straight. I think I’m allergic to this game.
The Cards just got Landry Jones’d.
420 TIME IN MARTAVISVILLE WOO
Jeebus Cripes, Landry Jones did a good?!
Oh my god. ARI is going on an 11 game losing streak.
Palmer suffer that season-ending injury?
Ivory ole!
I’ve been on a long phone call. Did they bench Vick?
Yep. Possibly hurt. Possibly not.
Hamstring injury. He old.
Goddamn, it’s nice to have a defense.
Can someone please end Harrison’s career with the cheap shots he lays on other people?
LOLIONS
Verily with that Fitz TD run, Easterbrook achieved climax, wrote “game over” in his notebook…and petered off to sleep…