It’s Your Oak/SD, Dal/NYG Slim Pickin’s Thread

So this is how we’re punished for waking up squirrelly to watch lousy (yet entertaining) football played on a different continent? Fine.

Oak @ SD: Raiders are 2-3 with a 2 point loss to the stinking Bears as the only outlier on their sked as far as expected wins and losses. They’ve got the young troika in place (Carr, Cooper and Murray) to make things happen but the odds are against them in this long-dysfunctional franchise. The Chargers are #1 in total yards per game but only 15th in scoring. Lots of empty yards gained between the 20’s? Gordon doesn’t have a TD yet and won’t get one today (he’s out) but that has more to do with Derlaygo playing from behind a fair bit.

Dal @ NYG: Somebody on the internet told me that the last not-Romo to start and win a Cowboys game was Stephen Magee back in ’10. That can’t be right, can it? I’d look it up but I’m too damn busy writing these previews. Do you know how long it takes to look up one or two factlets and rev up the glib machine? Which Giants team will show for role call today? Will it be the shit-kickers that spanked the Slurs? How ’bout the squad that was dis-emboweled by the Eagles? Perhaps the silly squad that squeaked by the lousy 9’ers will shout “Here, Sir!” One never knows-I guess that’s why I watch every week…

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King Hippo

DEEEEERRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Romonobyl

Don’t break Witten!

Sharkbait

Phone is dying at the bar. See you degenerates for the late game

Doktor Zymm

It’s a good thing I do statistics for a living. Trying to figure out rankings in the NFC East is no job for amateurs.

entropy

Every time I think of the NFC East, I’m reminded of the Feynman quote, “there’s plenty of room at the bottom.”

blordinaryfagicmox

I always think, “Dallas is in the East, while Carolina, Tampa, NO, Atlanta, Chicago, GB, Detroit, Minnesota, and St Louis are not.”

blackroseMD1

“Punt? What’s a punt?” – Raiders fans today

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Raiders first punt of the game comes deep in the third quarter, what is this sorcery?

WCS

This is indeed a disturbing universe.

Romonobyl

That’s usually the result of wholesale turnovers.

The Maestro

Other question: despite owning Amari Cooper and Michael Crabtree in a couple of my leagues, I really haven’t watched much of the Raiders this year.

Are they… actually good?

If so, how many fans have died from celebrating so far?

King Hippo

They’re pretty legit.

Why Thank You Eddie

Yeas! Dominiquerodgerscromara…was his mom a professional Scrabble player or something?

I know Giants Cowboys is the better game, but i’m oddly attracted to the Bolts being bludgeoned

fleshwound_NPG

Something I thought I would never, ever say again:

The Raiders are in position to run up the score.

John Difool

Phillip K. Dick’s…..THE MAN IN THE HIGH PICK-SIX CASSEL

King Hippo

13 points for PICK SIX WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love my money league D/ST scoring system

Romonobyl

Get well soon Tony, please.

Doktor Zymm

The derp is a pendulum, it swings both ways.

Why Thank You Eddie

Arian Foster tore his ACL? Sending up my..oh. Get better soon big guy

King Hippo

achilles, I thought. Either way, he’s pretty well and fucked.

Old School Zero

Is OSZ gon drank?

Nah. I’m gonna mainline krokodil into my eyeballs so I don’t have to watch this anymore.

King Hippo

Oddly enough, this is also what the majority of celebrating Raider fans will do in joy.

blackroseMD1

I’m going with paint thinner. With any luck, it’ll make me go blind.

entropy

Fuck you and your anti-red-meat stories, Fox 5. I’m gonna eat my fucking steak and ignore that constricting noise coming from my chest.

Doktor Zymm

Okay, I used up all my motivation putting on a shirt. There was none left for pants. Back to the robe and ordering beer it is.

Why Thank You Eddie

If Erin Andrews interviewed Greg Hardy I would be mildly interested.

King Hippo

PLEAZ let Carr keep a-throwin’

Sharkbait

To Cooper

King Hippo

JDR seems like he might like rubbing it in and playing to the crowd.

John Difool

It’s fitting Buck would call Aikman ‘Dr. 8 Ball’ since he looks like he could snort an 8 ball up each nostril in one go .

The Maestro

So just got home from my college homecoming. I drank enough to blind a small creature, and am continuing to do so now, only instead of public mischief, I’m now just sitting on my ass in my basement.

My question is, as functional alcoholism goes, which is more preferable: the former, or the latter?

Col. Duke LaCross

Laserface is going to get benched today, isn’t he?

fleshwound_NPG

Meanwhile, a much, much hated fackin New Englander is on the brink of winning NASCAR’s top championship, while The South is about to go 0-for-21st Century (and 0-for-since Earnhardt died).

Romonobyl

Left turn…
Left turn…
Left turn…

Left turn…

Brick Meathook
King Hippo

WOO!!!!! SUCK IT, WORLD!!!!

King Hippo

Good news is that Carr is my money league bye week fill-in QB. Bad news is I swapped in Snead for Crabtree because I’m a moe-ron. Ugggghhhh

Romonobyl

Damn Indy almost came back.

fleshwound_NPG

The Raiders are not bad.

This komment was made in 2015.

Romonobyl

“komment”?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

We done flushed out a spy! Get ‘im!

fleshwound_NPG

old habits die hard

Sharkbait

NOTCOOPERDOWN

King Hippo

The 20-team league entry where my WRs are Megatron, Cooper, and Diggs…unsurprisingly having a nice day.

NAWT my money league damn it.

King Hippo

Will the Chargers make me happy with a third long FG?

blackroseMD1

No. The Chargers aren’t in the business of making anyone happy today, except Raider fans.

Romonobyl

Raiders…winning???

Sharkbait

I know. I’m scared too

Sharkbait

I’m pretty sure they all know what happened there Tony

John Difool

I’ll really be glad when someone finally punches Witten’s clock and I say that with nothing but envy and respect.

Romonobyl

Many have tried, all have failed.

Brick Meathook
blackroseMD1

If Mike Nolan isn’t interim San Diego head coach tomorrow morning, then Dean Spanos just doesn’t give a shit and is probably kicked back in Carson already.

entropy

I kind of picture him having the Indians’ owner from Major League’s attitude right now: lose enough games to lower attendance so he move seems somewhat organic.

blackroseMD1

That makes a ton of sense.

Someone on the Chargers needs to step up and be Pedro Cerano and tell Jobu to fuck off.

Doktor Zymm

Not today :
comment image

Doktor Zymm

Okay…I’m slowly moving towards getting dressed and going out…

Sad no Beckham circus catch there.

Romonobyl

Pants? PANTS!!!!!!!

Sharkbait

First rule of DFO. No pants

Doktor Zymm

I’m going with the slightly lazier and less horrible skirt option.

Romonobyl

Horsefeathers!!!!

Moonbatting Average

Great, now I miss Otto

Romonobyl

Crap it’s going back.

King Hippo

Troy may at least to make an attempt not to blatantly be a Cowboys homer, but Joe sure doesn’t.

John Difool

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Romonobyl

YYYEEEEEE FUKKKIIINNNN HAWWWWWWW!!!!!!

John Difool

Tom Coughlin uses only the finest herbs and spices inside his plague mask

MikeWallaceAndGromit
Old School Zero

Goodbye San Diego, hello Los Angeles!

blackroseMD1

After watching this game, L.A. may reject the Chargers from moving up there.

Old School Zero

I’m not sure if I would want them to or not.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

This Amari Cooper kid might have something figured out.

King Hippo

WOW. Imagine all the cumstains on R-T-D’s train coming back to L.A. tonight!

King Hippo

McFadden as goalline back?