Warm tidings, dear men and women of Most Glorious Commentist Party. One of your District Kommisars noted a suggestion in your Sunday RiveBrog of awarding weekly “NOBYL Prize” for player who shows most worthy of herp and derp spirit of the Cowboy who drops playoff extra point snaps and shits beds of Week Seventeens in most entertaining fashion. Indeed, I have enjoyed watching Romonobyl antics over fine potato vodka many times myself, and applaud your initiative.
So, good peoples of DFO…who do you find worthy?
Every mother’s son who drives on the Baltimore beltway like they’re trying to qualify for the Daytona 500.
Fuck each and every one of you with a sandpaper dildo.
Some kind of general clause towards the NFL officiating crews. They are seriously no better than the scabs had been. And the fact that which officiating crew a game draws gets as much conversation as the days weather, stadium winds, turf conditions, or where Jeff Fischer just had a concrete slab poured shows that the officials are too much a part of the game.
This is why the Golden Football League will formally allow input from coaches at the half to be delivered to the crews regarding calling the game. To provide a situation where everyone has a better agreement on how the game is going to be called.
Wouldn’t every mid-game statement just basically be, “PAY FUCKING ATTENTION, DIPSHITS?”
Seconded. They suck ass.
The officiating is directed from the league office. See the ‘point of emphasis’ bullshit, etc. As I’m sure you’ve read the rules completely, you’d know how complex, inconclusive, contradictory, and vague in the wrong places…. ah fuck it….
I again am up at the asscrack of dawn. Working against my better impulses to not shut the garage door left open by my dad, but I can leave my TV volume at 90 and he sleeps through every second, I close that door and I will be questioned immediately
I immediately fixed that I shouldn’t pretend to be crazy
I’ve wasted my life.
You and I are members of a very large club.
Is the secret handshake just a quick, sad nod and a thousand yard stare when no one is looking? Because if so, I believe I joined up decades ago.
A barely audible sigh when someone shows visible, giddy excitement over something like a baby shower or dressing up at work for Halloween, etc.
I listen to this a lot. It makes me feel…understood.
If it’s up to this point, I nominate the Bears kick and punt coverage teams. 3 TDs already this year.
THE BEN NO MAKE THROWS TO THE BEN’S CATCHMANS THE BEN MAKE THROWS TO CINCANCITYS NOT CATCHMANS
http://33.media.tumblr.com/9a1a1067daef5832e7a7238dbf3bfcfc/tumblr_nx9esw9G8M1qin4ceo1_500.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGZ3FFKvdsA
http://31.media.tumblr.com/9cd41d884e705799d71927fe639f9bab/tumblr_mrx259c0Jd1r7b1s5o2_250.gif
Every part of this, from initial comment to response gif, is perfect.
I’d like to personally thank Kristen Stewart for hating the press as much as Cutler. By “personally thank” I mean PERSONALLY THANK.
I believe I would also like to PERSONALLY THANK Kristen Stewart, if I’m picking up what you’re putting down. If what you’re putting down is innuendo, that is. And if it isn’t, could you put some down so that I wash whatever else this is off my hands?
You can’t spell “PERSONALLY THANK ” without ANAL.
Oh, it is my brothers birthday tonight. So everyone wish him a happy birthday. Not even gonna try to call him because I know he is beyond remembering a phone call. At best I get him rambling for 5 hours.
He just called my dad, he is obviously already drunk and on the Triple C. I expect a phone call to me is coming soon.
Triple C? Coke, Crown, and Cock?
Coricidin Cough and cold. Never try it. Terrible
Agreed. I saw what it did to JaMarcus Russell.
Still not acclimated to daylights savings. I guess the wrong way every time. The sun being down by 5 isn’t helping nor is my proclivity for keeping odd hours if I don’t have shit to do.
Having to turn the lights on at 17:30 EST is uninspiring.
Keenan Allen’s kidney.
I must reiterate-HE’S GOT ANOTHER ONE!
Not if that hooker had shaky hands and poor eyesight. Maybe she took one and cut up the other?
Gotta say Luck. That was pathetic. His throws weren’t even close. Yeah, yeah, they came back, still an L and still on his shoulders.
In closing, HODOR.
How about Brad Wing for committing a face mask penalty as a PUNTER, thus enabling the Saints to kick the game winning field goal?
He was my first thought, though the kick returner kinda grabbed Wing’s facemask too, so it was sorta bullshit. All academic if he, you know, punts and/or tackles better, though.
Chuck Pagano challenging down by contact when Cam was sideways on the ground and a Colt caused a… Fumble by telekinesis?
NOBYL Prize committee needs a LOVIE subgroup!
Aaron Rodgers, for being out-passed (out-yarded? He’s out-something) by Matt Cassel on Sunday.
Credit to Denver’s defence, but c’mon MVP.
And it wasn’t like they didn’t throw a lot. Weather was totes fine.
We are only allowed to use “genius” when referring to B.B., but that was an extremely good defensive game plan against the Packers and it was executed to perfection for a majority of the game. Granted; there is a shitload (metric) of talent on that defense, but ol’ dumb Wade is using that talent very well in spite of defense being illegal. Also if you watched the game closely he had no one open. Out-yarded would be the term, because Rodgers didn’t make the devastating mistakes that Cassel did, which is what you’d expect.
Hey hey HEY. You take your well-reasoned and thoughtful analysis and put it RIGHT BACK WHERE IT BELONGS. This is a place for sardonic reactions and running jokes. This here skirts dangerous close to an “account of the game,” which as we all know is illegal without the Shield’s express permission, and considering how harsh we are, I don’t think we’re getting that any time soon.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… I think Moose has the most actual intelligent football insight on this here blog.
[tears well up in eyes]
[in very high pitch voice] “YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!”
[starts running away.]
[at freezer stops for ice cream sandwich]
Sorry, man. What if I said it “ironically”?
NBC actually had some great camera work (SNF is very watchable despite Collinsworth’s best efforts). Rodgers’ facial expressions were great, ESPECIALLY when he had time to throw. There was NOTHING there, and he was beyond frustrated.
But like Moose said, he didn’t CasselVANIA hisself into an Alib Pick Six or four.
Wade must walk around town feeling like he has balls the size of grapefruits.
I’ll give you that. It just feels like there should have been an alternative tried.
I also think the Jets defense should also be considered for their entire game against the Raiders. As much of a Raiders homer as I am, any time a defense gives up touchdowns on the first three drives and doesn’t force a single punt until halfway through the fourth quarter, you’re looking at a good chance of taking home a Tony.
Just look at this collection of missed tackles on the Taiwan Jones touchdown:
https://youtu.be/0TbAUVTar5Q
I remember seeing that play live and wondering who the hell it was. No idea Taiwan Jones was still playing footbaw. The Jets’ defense sure made Mrs. Jones a proud mama this weekend!
How did Mainland China Jones do?
As a Jets fan, I have to agree. The Defense played TERRIBLY. I swear they all felt that with Fitz out, they were done, too.
Ted Ginn Jr. seems like he’d be a good choice, even though his team ultimately won.
I thought he showed great foreshadowing by spelling out with just his hands “w-a-t-c-h m-e f-u-c-k u-p t-h-i-s g-a-m-e w-i-t-h a d-r-o-p”.
Ginn is not good enough about being terrible to win an award
2 catches on 10 targets, including 140+ yards of combined dropped TDs is pretty impressive, even by Ted Ginn standards.
I feel I should take back my last comment. Didn’t realize he was that bad
http://41.media.tumblr.com/931e6fb61250c3353117ab768ad2ddb5/tumblr_nwn5mgs7jf1tn7xxoo1_500.jpg