[manages to briefly tear himself away from “The Case For Christmas” starring Dean Cain as a lawyer defending Santa Claus/ignoring the good woman who loves him dearly] I’d like to catch AFC North fever but I’m not an anti-vaccer-I’ve had my shots.
Cle @ Cin: Johnny Hypeball gets the start tonight and it’ll be a rough one. A few of the starting WR’s that he doesn’t have a rapport with (Hawkins, Hartline) are out. He still has Barnidge and Benjamin but I think their better-than-you’d-expect stats have more to do with McCown’s great play under trying circumstances than with their own ability. I may be wrong but it won’t be the 374th time. (I keep track-it’s WAY over 400) I look forward to John-Boy scrambling needlessly, shovel-passing, throwing off his back foot, side-arming and getting intercepted tonight and being arrested for shoplifting in a small town ten years from now. I’m petty like that. Dalton. How is he doing what he’s doing? Well the ground game is a lot better, you say. “Shut up”, I say, “they’re ranked 18th in average yards per game! What the hell are you talking about?” Ginger has taken a major leap forward because of…[returns to watching The Case For Christmas]
http://img2.rnkr-static.com/list_social_img/12138/812138/470/the-50-best-bathroom-graffiti-pictures-in-internet-history-u1.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/5ZYFG6u.jpg
In one of the local bars, the men’s room had “RIP [my first name, last initial].” I felt bad for whoever it was that thought I was dead…. then wondered if it was a threat. I finally wrote on the wall “I ATEN’T DED,” hoping for a Pratchett fan, but instead got back, “Shit, sorry, my bad.”
Did you read The Shepard’s Crown yet?
No, and I don’t wanna because I refuse to believe Terry Pratchett is dead. If I don’t read the last novel I can maybe convince myself there’s just a publishing holdup on the next book.
I didn’t think of doing that. It was a bittersweet read for sure.
I’m gonna watch half of NASA’s 4K solar video rather than this halftime shit.
Halftime. Bedtime. Two times that time great together! Good Night Everybody!
Halftime Rick and Morty binge.
TINY RICK!
I’m bustin’ out tonight
Hmm. I should buy an Arduino board and figure out how to make stuff with it. It seems like a better use of time than any of the upcoming Thursday night games.
Hobbies are important.
http://nonfics.com/media/2014/07/We-Live-in-Public.jpg
You know, I thought SNL was joking when they made this.
I want the Bungles to lose but I don’t want them to make JFF look good doing it.
“And when you talk about guys who like to put it all out there…”
“CUT!”
Sunday morning I went out on the porch and found our Jack O Lantern had been stolen. For a second I was like “LOUSY PUNK KIDS#!!”…..But then I realized they saved me from having to scrape up pumpkin guts come November 25th or so. Thanks punk kids!
What the fuck is this TiVo commercial shit?
“Is your family a pack of raving assholes? Do they make you feel like less of a man due to varying commercial length and you fast forwarding three seconds too slow or too fast? Buy our new product and shut these ungrateful fucks up once and for all!”
[tries to rationalize own frustration with wife’s incompetence at fast-forwarding]
Hmm… Usually when you hear “drive” and Cleveland” in the same sentence a cliff is mentioned in there somewhere.
Glad to see that I’m still juvenile enough that seeing a grown man get punched in the balls by his kid still makes me laugh.
My 8 year old and I were laughing so loud my wife threatened both of us with losing out iPads
I hated it until that very moment, then cackled.
That Tivo commercial was more disturbing than Dick Cheney’s porn collection
Was that Molly Shannon in that TiVo ad?
Nice fucking catch!
Well that was just stupid.
Hm. I’ve got DJJ and Eifert. Not a bad night for what is a fucking awful game.
You can call him Duke, and you can call him Luke…
So is Duke Johnson Jr related to Lord Revis by Peerage?
I only started drinking at 6:30 but I’m already in “Fuck You Friday-I’m Getting Nothing Done” mode. Who’s with *hic*, with me?
Ive been drinking since 4. It’s my friday and this week has sucked more than this game.
I was given tomorrow off for being good at a job I am deeply disappointed in myself for having. CHEERS MATE!
I am.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7wg77TgfB1rv7dfuo1_400.jpg
Been with you since Monday pal! *hic*
Monday? That’s dedi-macation!
I’m off tomorrow but drinking pumpkin beers. Doing my best to kill them, though.
Jesus, Jets fans really are masochists…
The Duke scores!
woops
Still glorious
I’m so shell-shocked from these constant FanDuel and DraftKings ads that I actually cringed when I heard the words “free play”.
THIS TOM BRADY UNDER ARMOUR COMMERCIAL, I CALL IT A PROCTOLOGIST’S DREAM – AN ENTIRE FIELD FULL OF ASSHOLES
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acres_of_Skin
Banner Comment nomination
DIE UNDER ARMOUR
http://www.sickchirpse.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Best-internet.png
Drew Magary after getting too close to the Electrolux.
I may not recognize a single song these millenia karaoke twats are butchering, but at least none of them are doing Don’t Stop Believin.
It’s early, and soon enough you’ll get them singing the Drunk Chick Anthem, “Me & Bobby Magee.”
I think you mean “That Country Song About Destroying A Guy’s Truck For Revenge”. Or maybe that’s the drunk chicks here…
Someone talked me into karaokeing a couple months ago. I sang “Cocaine Blues” by Johnny Cash. It was actually pretty fun, and I got some free shots out of it.
At least this isn’t taking very long.
I wish I had thought to name my cat “Norm” so my wife and I could yell that every time she strolls into the house.
Number of Christmas themed commercials I’ve seen today: 2
Sigh. It begins.
That’s Duke Johnson JUNIOR!!! Duke Johnson has a bad knee and poor speed, he can be tackled anywhere.
However, once you see Bills/Jets on Thursday Night Football, you can’t unsee it
http://i.imgur.com/ppjZKin.jpg
Bills are shit.
You’re shit.
http://static1.businessinsider.com/image/50e080a36bb3f76423000001/the-amazon-reviews-for-this-banana-slicer-are-the-best-thing-on-the-internet-today.jpg
Is anyone that lazy? When I slice bananas into cereal, I use a fucking spoon. Failing that, I would just gently tap them to break the pieces off.
I need one of these. I’ve been slicing bananas the old and inefficient way.
I’ve just been eating them, like some sort of ANIMAL.
Think of all the free time you’ll have to contemplate the larger mysteries of the universe, like a faster way to slice a fucking watermelon!
Double shifts in the Factory tonight I see.
So I’m in a coffee shop in the snooty part of town today, and saw a woman with obvious plastic surgery, her cheeks looked like they were stuffed with golf balls.
Nice rack though.
Prolly fake too.
As fake as Dick Cheney pretending to care about a crippled puppy. But still, tits.
As fake as any story about Dick Cheney caring enough to pretend he cared about a crippled puppy.
Why were the lights on at the Reds stadium?
TEE-VEE
To show it off for blimp shots.
They forgot to turn off the lights
Because Marge Schott thought she saw a black person trespassing.
Holy FUCKBALLS Browns
Don’t we already know how Undrafted ends?
I dunno, I watched Unbroken hoping that little fuck would get crushed under a half-track. No real reason, I just wanted an M Night level twist at the end.
Bad things come in 3s…
1) Browns on TV;
2) Quiet dive bar goes out of business;
3) Crowded sports bar has karaoke.
Damn near all of my local sports bars have no jukebox/no karaoke rules in effect for games. Obviously, tonight they would allow both.
See, shoulda followed your gut and stayed home and drank alone like all the rest of us pathetic fucks.
We cut the cable cord over the summer. Mostly love it but for the occasional Monday/Thursday night game that catches my interest
Factory of Sadness production at peak levels for the season right now.
Yup, still not seeing the trapped in the mine film.
My Spider-Claustrophobia sense is tingling at that one.
…and to think I almost started Heath Miller over you, Eifert.
People who buy giant foam fingers and wave them at games should be used by pharmaceutical companies as test subjects.
Check his birth certificate, I think his name is reallly Eifertnkowski
Ravens fans honor The Purple Armed Services all season long
Particularly, the Armed-With-a-Knife Services.
wow
Fort Eifort!
Wow Cleveland
So very Factory