Your AFC North-Centric Thursday Night “Showdown” Open Thread

[manages to briefly tear himself away from “The Case For Christmas” starring Dean Cain as a lawyer defending Santa Claus/ignoring the good woman who loves him dearly] I’d like to catch AFC North fever but I’m not an anti-vaccer-I’ve had my shots.

Cle @ Cin: Johnny Hypeball gets the start tonight and it’ll be a rough one. A few of the starting  WR’s that he doesn’t have a rapport with (Hawkins, Hartline) are out. He still has Barnidge and Benjamin but I think their better-than-you’d-expect stats have more to do with McCown’s great play under trying circumstances than with their own ability. I may be wrong but it won’t be the 374th time. (I keep track-it’s WAY over 400) I look forward to John-Boy scrambling needlessly, shovel-passing, throwing off his back foot, side-arming and getting intercepted tonight and being arrested for shoplifting in a small town ten years from now. I’m petty like that. Dalton. How is he doing what he’s doing? Well the ground game is a lot better, you say. “Shut up”, I say, “they’re ranked 18th in average yards per game! What the hell are you talking about?” Ginger has taken a major leap forward because of…[returns to watching The Case For Christmas]

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Redshirt

So you show the Sign Museum before you show Music Hall? One is a Historical Landmark because of its architectural beauty. The other is a freaking Sign Museum!

King Hippo

signs, signs, everywhere-a-signs

WhyEaglesWhy

True story: I’m so old, I once won tickets from a radio station for a double bill of Tesla and Great White.

entropy

Fuck you JJ Watt and calling chopping wood really, really hard work. Fucking twelve year olds do that, and they can do all kinds of other shit afterward.

Basically I hate JJ Watt.

Sill Bimmons

Best Goldfish flavor?

There is a right answer.

King Hippo

Pretzel, duh!

WhyEaglesWhy

Pretzel is like my co-favorite.

Brick Meathook

Live goldfish straight out of the tank at the pet store. MMMMMM GOOOOOOD

evilbeaver8

Koi.

WhyEaglesWhy

White cheddar

theeWeeBabySeamus

I have to alternate.
Parmesan then Pizza when I get sick of Parmesan.

Sharkbait

Original. Hands down.

Sharkbait

I do not want to know what the X-rated candle smells like.

King Hippo

The jizzmopper’s bucket.

/you’re welcome

WhyEaglesWhy

NOOOOOOOO

Redshirt

Perfect strategy, use the Ginger as a blocker. No one wants to touch the Ginger.

WhyEaglesWhy

I have learned that this is true the hard way 🙁

King Hippo

You might catch his GingerAIDS

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

The deepest league in America is celebrating the Sanudown.

Sill Bimmons

SHOWS HOW MUCH YOU KNOW PHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Huummmmm, so players and teams CAN improve during the course of a season…….WEIRD!

evilbeaver8

I am supposed to ask you about Debbie Harry.

entropy

Wooooooo Debbie Harry posts incoming, if we’re good!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I will endeavor to answer.

King Hippo

Damn it, Moose, you jinxed ’em!!

blordinaryfagicmox

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theeWeeBabySeamus

ya know….we’re all +1’ing this. But it occurs to me that we don’t know for sure what she “found” in there. Just saying.

Brick Meathook

My car keys.

King Hippo

Don’t look now, but K State making a game of it…

Sill Bimmons

Boners a-poppin’ all over Teh Flyover!

blordinaryfagicmox

(changes channel)
(penalty, timeout to avoid penalty)
Well, that game making was short lived.

King Hippo

Then TD!!!!

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Mizzou scored a touchdown!

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nomonkeyfun

Ya gotta go with the flow if you’re Mizzou.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Full Gabbertmania this week

evilbeaver8

Instead of Mic’d up I propose Mick’d Up wherein the players decipher which of their coaches is drunk on the job.

Sharkbait

What they should do is broadcast the Mic’ed up audio on a PPV basis to hear all the terrible things players say to each other.

Sill Bimmons

This “What if…?” campaign might be the stupidest one ever.

GOTTA CHECK OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO GENERIC OVERPRIVILEGED WHITE COUPLE #3 NAOWWWWW

King Hippo

C’mon, carrot baby food diarrhea! COVER!!!

Sill Bimmons

Changed my mind on single pan turkey dinner.

Went with Nongshim Shin Ramyun Spicy kimchi noodles.

Best packaged noodles I’ve ever had.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s as if you typed gibberish and put “noodles” at the end.

entropy

Aaaand with that, my humor is back on, shit that was funny.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I live to serve. 😉

nomonkeyfun

The front of that dress is sucking me into a pink hole.

entropy

Oh, I like her.

Sharkbait

That’s your attraction Cincinnati? A sign museum?

Brick Meathook

Don’t forget the playing-card factory.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Or the Underground Railroad Museum.

King Hippo

And the world-famous diarrhea restaurant!

Redshirt

That and a beloved chili franchise that will simultaneously cleanse you and constipate you.

entropy

Ooooo an airport that’s actually in Kentucky!

blordinaryfagicmox

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Gratliff

I’ve got to get to some of these cons at some point.

American Pie Story

where’s Kitana tho

Gratliff
Redshirt

Average Andy + Primetime = Dumbass Andy

Good Andy + Primetime = Adequate Andy

Gratliff

WKRP in Cincinnati! Fuck yeah everyone born before 1975!

Brick Meathook

BAILLEY FOR THE WIN

King Hippo

Represent!

Redshirt

WKRP Reference? Mandatory Turkey Drop

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lf3mgmEdfwg

King Hippo

With God as my witness, I thought a turkey could fly.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Poor Carlson and Les. LMAO

King Hippo

Read option? Maybe burn that page of the playbook. He’s not a spry young bloodeye no mo.

Doktor Zymm

He has read permissions, but no write permissions.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck Giovanni Bernard!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry….that’s a Pavlovian response I just can’t shake.

Redshirt

The Bengals are now bored. They ran the same play twice.

Doktor Zymm

Isn’t that an early warning sign of dementia?

entropy

Insanity, actually, the whole doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different outcome.

Sharkbait

Like how we keep watching these Thursday games and think they won’t suck?

entropy

Exactly! But I gave up on sanity a long time ago, so I am cool with this.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve always had a problem with that argument. If I repeatedly flipped a fair coin, it would be more insane to expect every outcome to be the same than to expect a mix of heads and tails.

theeWeeBabySeamus

flipped a fair coin

/wonders if that’s one of those fucked up British slang phrases

entropy

Fair as in not two headed, and not weighted to land on one side or the other.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Joke as in….I was making one.

entropy

Sorry, I fell down a rabbit hole. I am now reading an article on reconciling the insanity statement with irreproducibility in science and my humor got shut off.

theeWeeBabySeamus

No worries.
And LMFAO….you need to either drink more or stop immediately if you’re reading that kinda shit right now.

I’ve vote more, but that’s just me.

entropy

Closed the tab. Shit got real in a hurry and I am NOT in the mood for 60 years of obscure science history shit.

entropy

True, but there are enough variables in that example to disallow the comparison. Air flow, variance in applied force, hell, even the spin of the earth, you could get as micro as you want with it. While I can’t speak for Einstein, I think from a mental health perspective, it’s valid. Repeating the same personal actions and hoping for something different is kind of insane.

Brick Meathook

Will this be on the final exam?

entropy

Yeah, but it’s multiple choice, and I’ll allow you to take it twice if you REALLY think you’ll get a different score the second time.

entropy

Competence. Competence is one thing you haven’t really seen since this Cincinnati offense.

Sill Bimmons

HE KNOWS WHERE THAT MARKER IS DERRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

entropy

Those statements were all so stupid. He fell a full yard and a half shy of e marker and everyone knew it except the refs and the commentators.

Doktor Zymm

It’s later than I expected. I guess time flies when you’re appreciating how awesome it is to not be in Ohio!

King Hippo

Upon further review, the ruling on the field stands. Challenging coach was insufficiently supportive of the revolutionary CARBOAT.

theeWeeBabySeamus

He’s in favor of the competing truckboattruck.

blordinaryfagicmox
evilbeaver8

Fuck it…I’m enjoying JFF’s give no fucks performance thus far

jjfozz

Not to get all politically – but if ISIS did bring that Russian plane down, I hope Putin wipes those fuckers off the face of the earth.

King Hippo

I dunno, between Putin and ISIS, I kinda root for the meteor.

Redshirt

As a personal rule, I try to root against the terrorists, but..

Brick Meathook
theeWeeBabySeamus

Johnny Concussion

Sharkbait

Oh the second half started. More Rick and Morty or this game….

King Hippo

game, duh!!!

JustStopDude

What is the score…too lazy to open another screen to check out from NFL.com

Also dealing with stupid customer questions and nonsensical responses from Japan.

Redshirt

14-10 Bengals

JustStopDude

So typical Browns…hanging in there just to implode at the last second…

entropy

This is hardly the last second.

Sharkbait

If i fly out and kick the asses of everyone you deal with in Japan, will you fly to Dublin and do the same for my company?

entropy

I will go to Dublin for you. No worries on that score.

Redshirt

Challenge that spot, Bengals!

entropy

Generous fuckin spot for JFF.

jjfozz

Also not to be confused with Andy Dalton
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blordinaryfagicmox

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evilbeaver8

Young black men would be speechlessly excited upon seeing Jerry Jones in an elevator. Excellent market research Pepsi.

entropy

“Dude, don’t say anything or he’ll ask if your mom’s a hooker. Happened to my buddy DEZ a few years ago.”

evilbeaver8

“Yeah, but I told him my Mom wasn’t a hooker and was happily married and Belichik ended up all in our business”

entropy

“Motherfucker don’t you LISTEN?! If you had kept quiet, we’d have all been safe….”

jjfozz

Unlike Dalton, this redhead has a soul
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entropy

Take it from me, tits != soul.

evilbeaver8

Dude with Michael Bolton hair is singing 311 “All Mixed Up” in a style not dissimilar to Michael McDonald.

entropy

20 year old me wants to hear this, for some reason,

entropy

Do you think the lack of parental supervision in horror movies is just a direct descendent of the parents’ complete invisibility in the Peanuts cartoons and comic strips?

nomonkeyfun

Wah-wah-wah-waaaaa.

Brick Meathook

No, it’s because if there was proper parental supervision the horror movie would only last ten minutes and nothing would happen.

Now, POOR parental supervision, on the other hand…

Brick Meathook
Sharkbait

Mr Meeseeks? Make the second half not suck.

Gratliff

Want to go full World War Z with Meeseekses, eh?

blordinaryfagicmox
Doktor Zymm

I mostly just want to build something that’ll let me use my ancient 3-button intercom/buzzer system remotely, so I don’t keep missing the UPS/Fedex guy.

Brick Meathook
Redshirt