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Phi @ Dal: Philly is trying to catch the Giants and Dallas is trying to catch the Slurs and folks at NFL head office are trying to forget that this is a prime time marquee game. Cassel is trying to prove that the Pats, Chiefs, Vikes and Bills were all wrong about him. At 33 I think he’s just about to come into his own. So many others have done the same thing at the same age. Remember that guy? And what about that dude that played for that team back in the [mumbles]? So I say “go for it, fella that’ll be out of the league next year!”
Your Sunday Night NFC East Nail-Biter Open Thread
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I hope they short circuit that dumb fucking screen
How can God pee on his team?
God is R Kelly?
What’s next, the i-Monocle?
So the few of you fantasy folks who started Beasly…please enjoy.
All 7 of them just high fived.
Got him in Sill’s league! 19.2 points.
Still losing by 30.
“Okay Google: How you reduce the illiteracy epidemic among young people?”
Vampires in everything.
MOAR ZOMBIES
I am guessing the average <20-somethng has a better chance of fending off zombies for weeks than passing a 10-question exam on grammar and punctuation
By switching off Google.
The Julian Edelman Movie – fuck you Al. Just fuck you with a cactus.
Gawd he’s a moron.
COLSLAW BEASTLEY
You gritty, gorgeous bastard you!!!!!
My drinking is falling off precipitously. I need more music, obviously. What’ve ye got?
I can tell you what I’ve woken up with stuck in my head, what are your feelings on Cocksparrer?
Never heard of ’em. I like pretty much all music, save for Adult Contemporary Top 40 Country I Lost My Dog Truck & Wife shit.
Oh, honey. There is a world of early punk you would be the better for hearing.
Darlin, I know me some punk, and a fair amount of it. Geography plays a part.
Wait. You think 90s punk is *early* punk?!
Absolutely not. 70’s is early. I wasn’t around, but I know my music, and I’ve seen what bands are still around. And Cocksparrer is not 90s.
East End Girl was EXACTLY my kind of thing. MORE MORE MORE.
If you like shoegaze, look up Cosmonauts. I used one of their songs for the Vampire post; I’ve been enjoying them lately.
The full eleven minute version of “Time Has Come Today” by The Chambers Brothers:
https://youtu.be/uHfB63ln1Ig
Playing this now. Interesting beginning.
Or, less sentimental, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YVrLDKjWuQ
The last one was sentimental? Jesus. We need to actually speak, you’re my kind of people.
The most sentimental Cocksparrer song : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0bugPvKjwU
EVEN TOUGH GUYS NEED SOMEONE SOMETIMES
Aaaaand now I will spend a portion of tonight obtaining Cocksparrer’s discography, provided the stairs aren’t too difficult later.
I’ve SEEN Silversun, live at Terminal 5, in NYC. Great show, although it was also the night I met Katie Nolan, who is 5x lovelier in person.
Another fitting punishment for the team that loses the Toilet Bowl (between the two worst teams in the league) would be to be named the Corpsefuckers the following season.
“We emphatically refuse to share our name with the Jacksonville Jaguars.”
– Corpsefuckers Local 104
We call ours “The ‘SHOT’TENHEIMER” and make the loser do consecutive shots of NightTrain, Thunderbird, Cisco, Boones, and MD 20/20.
We call that the Tomsula Special.
I have no memories of Witten ever being injured. He’s just super lucky/durable?
Or else you’re Trent Green.
Me too! Have we met?
Trent Green twice today while calling the Jets/Jags insisted 2 plays would be overturned on review despite neither having anything close to clear conclusive proof the original call was wrong. And in the 2nd one he argued with Mike Carey to the point of rudeness. Carey was much nicer and polite than he needed to be.
Especially considering that Trent is not known to hold a grudge.
He had a spleen issue some time ago…still finished the game.
CHRISTIANS: “Starbucks hates us because they took the word Christmas off of their cups! I am outraged and persecuted! I am going to spend time protesting this horrible event!”
GOD: “I’m giving every one of those pricks explosive diarrhea on Christmas morning. Bunch of dicks.”
It’s almost like Christmas isn’t one specific day according to their religion.
Me : Doooonnnnn’tttt care. Also…isn’t Thanksgiving supposed to happen first?
The word “Christmas” never was on their cups to begin with. I love how they always say liberals get angry at everything.
#WarOnChristmas #Winning
Like I said before, the Facebook Fundies need a new generation of for reals lions to see what “persecution” is all about.
Or to be black for a few months.
Ticky tack fucking penalties this game
The whole season has been a flag-fest.
No no, we had a whole post on it and everything.
Why option?
Holy shit, are you a wizard?
Y-knot?
Camel toe or dookie? YOU DECIDE
Nice balls.
If that’s a tuck, that dude has an amazing ass.
Now THAT’S a vulva!
Cris just drew a weiner on the teevee
Seeing Romo really makes me want to eat a crownie and I fucking hate sweets.
It’s a shame that Beasly plays for the Cowboys and isn’t a great talent. Because BEASTLY!
I don’t care for many commercials, because they are lazy and weak, but that one with someone speaking for Lynch and he just says, “Speech mode, boss” at the end is perfect.
That said, if Beasly becomes a bigger talent, he and Lynch NEED to remake that commercial, exactly the same way, with one surly look at the end difference.
After this game, I think I’ll try that crack stuff all the kids are talking about these days.
Insurmountable lead right?
Derp Moon Rising
I’ve had this hope for many a week, but Cowboys/Buccs. If Hardy and Winston somehow manage to career-end each other……
And, in a freakish turn of events, one of their exploded corpses manages to go right through Brady….
Shrapnel!
“Hmm, I kind of like the sound of…oh. Sorry, I thought you were talking about something else.”
– Aaron Rodgers
GENERAL CUSTER MUST BE COACH BECAUSE COWBOYS ARE DROPPING LIKE FLIES
GET HYPE for putting it all on CasselVANIA’s manly shoulders!
They do get some fancy uniforms.
So do the NFL marketing people just masturbate furiously every time a player gets injured?
NBC gives you a close-up ass shot as consolation, Cowboys fans.
Jerry Rice in a Cowboys jersey is worse than Judas Iscariot kissing you in front of a bunch of Roman soldiers.
Judas always got a raw deal, in my opinion. Without him, there is no “Christ died for your sins” nonsense. He was NECESSARY, and yet he’s villified.
The reason Jesus chose Judas was because the rest of the disciples were a bunch of sniveling cowards that couldn’t be trusted.
JUDAS WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT PAID
Sean Lee may be the heart and soul of the Dallas defense but there is no way he is it’s short term memory.
Ha! So true … I’m sorry, what were you just talking about Horatio?
– Jim McMahon
Beets. I was talking about beets.
Ryan Matthews learned the hard way that it’s best to set the ball down gently after a touchdown. Spike it and you’re risking a sprained wrist or broken fibula.
I spent a terrifying couple of minutes reading Cowboys fans justify Hardy, but you can take my condemnation as rote. I’m just gonna be like, WHT?! Td EAGLES?! And Hitchens?! Damn, karma is all fucked up.
Statistically this was to be expected.
A piece of shit is a piece of shit.
When does Jerry World go into Wqr Mode?
OK Commentists, one of you needs to go play LB now.
God DAMN it… Fine. I’ll do it this week, but one of you other pricks is up next week.
You can’t go play LB for the Cowboys til you finish your beer.
Oh thank God I just cracked a fresh one!
Two left!
YOU GET AN INJURY! AND YOU GET AN INJURY! AND YOU GET AN INJURY!
Sorry folks, but these calls against Dallas have been pretty weak, and I normally never go that route.
I’ll accept that if you accept that the taunting call was total bullshit
Can’t deny that. Believe me, I NEVER go anti-official unless it’s a Patriots game.
When they say a dback or safety was “caught peeking”, does that mean they were looking in the backfield at the QB, and that split second got them burned?
The RB.
Thanks, I honestly had no idea what that meant.
Sean Lee is the Heart, Soul, AND effort, apparently.
BLEERGH giveth and BLEERGH taketh away
BLEERGH moves in mysterious ways.
CAN WE PLEASE CATCH A FUCKING BALL!?
GREEN LIGHTS DON’T DO SHIT FOR ME. MY DICK ISN’T GOING TO SUCK ITSELF. GOD BLESS
RED LIGHTS WORK BETTER FOR THAT SORT OF THING IIRC
Well, Lee is concussed…
“Where are you?”
“Tuesday!”
“Get back in there!”
Sean Lee really shouldn;t keep playing footbaw, should he?
Every generation needs a Trent Green to call their own…
Sean Lee needs to be banned from playing football for his own good.
Sean Lee injured, so Dallas gives up 300 more yards from this point.
Oh I think they’re quite capable of giving up more than that.
THIS SEAN LEE, I CALL HIM JASON LEE ‘CAUSE HE ALWAYS MANAGES TO GET OFFED HALFWAY INTO THE HOW
MATT CASSELL: THE FINEST BACKUP QB IN USC HISTORY
For a second, I was terrified that Al would say the heart and soul of the Cowboys defense was Hardy.
Hardy is the heart of rock and roll, because he’s still beating,
Kia Mom is the worst mom.
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