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Phi @ Dal: Philly is trying to catch the Giants and Dallas is trying to catch the Slurs and folks at NFL head office are trying to forget that this is a prime time marquee game. Cassel is trying to prove that the Pats, Chiefs, Vikes and Bills were all wrong about him. At 33 I think he’s just about to come into his own. So many others have done the same thing at the same age. Remember that guy? And what about that dude that played for that team back in the [mumbles]? So I say “go for it, fella that’ll be out of the league next year!”
Your Sunday Night NFC East Nail-Biter Open Thread
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Sean Lee is down? That never happens!!!
Who had 11 minutes left in the 3rd quarter in the Sean Lee Injury Pool?
Me … if you mean 3rd quarter of the 1st quarter.
Weekly Sean Lee injury timeout
Gin, cherries. I’ve done my part with the distracting and cheering up.
Vodka. Last two Mich Ultras (and you were right about the urination issue). Soon, I’m gonna break into the last sixer of alcoholic root beer I have, and then we’ll see what happens.
In order for Cassell to effectively operate, you need to form a moat around him.
I tell my kids they can swear all the fuck they want to around the house, as long as I don’t get a call from the school or another parent about anything. And that’s worked just fine.
FATHER OF THE YEAR AMIRITE??
You got my vote. They’re just words.
You know what? Fuck this “Greg Hardy is a terrible human being” shit. Don’t get me wrong, Greg Hardy is a terrible human being who should be in jail. But let’s not pretend for a second that this staged criticism from Al and Cris is anything but NFL/NBC pandering because some pictures came out.
We all know what Hardy did and if you needed pictures to be outraged about it then you’re a fucking idiot. Which sadly seems to include most football fans, present company excepted.
I’m really starting to hate the NFL and everything associated with it. Greg Hardy deserves CTE but of those photos hadn’t come out all Al and Cris and any other announcer would be talking about would be what a terror he is coming off the end, and I know that because the announcers fucking did that during the Patriots game.
In a related note I will have that 3rd 9.8 ABV Lagunitas Brown Shugga, because I don’t believe in anything any more.
Like with the Ray Rice thing. They all acted “shocked” when the pictures came out. Like, what the fuck you THINK it looks like when a ginormous man attacks a relatively small lady?
A-MOTHERFUCKING-MEN.
Well that didn’t work so well.
I hope this level of publicity makes domestic violence more of an issue, but at the same time, most people aren’t convicted on the first charge, and if Greg Hardy worked at a bakery or wherever else, things would be the same, but with less public scrutiny. It’s a society issue. He’s shit, but he’s not the beginning or the end. Goddamit, I depressed myself.
Special place in Hell for spousal abusers…and I’m not particularly religious.
With no legal action…what other job would he be fired from? The NFL is special because it’s highly public. There are plenty of assholes beating their wives that no one sees.
This is why I said that I don’t want my sisters with anyone who would ever have to deal with ME; My father was in many ways a nightmare, but he taught me a few important lessons, first and foremost being you never, EVER, hit a woman.
I think I’ve decided to mildly root for Dallas, because they are less likely to catch the Giants, the team I least hate in this toxic fucking division.
When you said “catch” and “toxic” I assumed you were talking about the NFC South, specifically Tampa Bay.
+ 1 Lassa virus
/hoping for something new this year
//also reading up on virology
Oh, Witten IS playing.
I know she’s no longer the Matron Saint, but I saw Suzy Kolber on ESPN recently. All I can say is…hell yes I would. She wouldn’t, but I certainly would.
Agreed.
Werner Herzog: She is somehow defying the effects of the ravages of time itself.
She will always be the Matron Saint to me, and by god she is attractive.
Graham’s not getting that smoothie tomorrow.
Saved by teh BLEERGH!!!
HAIL!
OH FUCK YOU
Cassel-keeper…
Collinsworth showing backbone?
But only in the larger context of union busting
Crawling out of the primordial ooze
I wish Greg Hardy were the one showing backbone, because someone had hit him so hard his spine was literally sticking out his body.
For the next Football is Family commercial:
My little sister, the one with the masters in early childhood development and owner of a successful daycare facility, half drunk, watching the Ravens-Patriots AFC championship, yelling out, “YOU CAN SUCK IT TOM LADY! YOU BITCH!” in front of her three daughters, two nephews, and 15 other family members.
I would record that and play it twenty times daily.
My sons (11 and 8) still yell that whenever Brady is on the television, and then turn at me and said, “Remember when Aunt G said that? That means it’s okay!”
Costas sidesteps the Hardy thing?
Those facelifts and botox ain’t gonna pay for themselves like Goodell will.
He’s a shill
I’m a Redskins fan. I was more optimistic than most, and predicted a 5-11 season. I have since upgraded this to 6-10. Neither of these are playoff type records. This leaves me in the position to appreciate good non-NFC East football (and there is no good NFC East football). Go Panthers, Go Cardinals. Someone, please, don’t embarrass me.
It makes me so goddamned angry that the Raiders only have one more win than the Redskins.
Which explains your unfettered hatred of a certain Texas footy club?
There’s only so much yelling “stop pointing and laughing” we can do.
I’m Ray Liotta, and I’m a graduate of the Grit Your Teeth and Yell school of acting. I also minored in Creepy Laughing
Ever seen the movie ‘Narc’? Well don’t, it’s terrible. I watched the DVD years ago and the best part of it was the interviews afterward with Liotta and whatever dipshit played the other cop. You could tell they HATED each other; even interviewed at different times.
Panthers undefeated…I have a hard enough time thinking of that after Week 1.
$1000 violation
Shit, my Uber driver is here. Gotta go.
Casselvania strikes again!!!
This is a very strange Foobaw Sunday, to just enjoy the shit out of Youtube music on one TV and a lack of announcers on another. I think this is my new go-to Sunday plan, without, y’know the Mich Ultra (down to 4, in case anyone cares).
NO WOMAN IN THE FUCKING WORLD EVER WOULD WANT TO BE MARRIED IN A STADIUM
So…the commentator reaction to the Bridgewater hit..Is that dirty? “Yea that’s gonna cost that kid a lotta money” I guess that’s realistic….but damn.
These are the same assholes that gave us “Jacked Up” and then, later that SAME FUCKING YEAR, began wondering if NFL players were taking hits that were too hard. You can draw your own conclusions from there.
Vike’s head coach was beyond pissed at the post game presser
Mike Zimmer is one f the really good dudes in the sport, too. Or at least that’s my impression.
My favorite part was Rodney Harrison throwing Jeff Fisher right under the fucking bus like he wasn’t notoriously dirty when he played.
Greg Hardy really took #3 to heart
http://image.slidesharecdn.com/estiempoforunihealth2014-4-150703055339-lva1-app6892/95/es-tiempo-unihealth-2014-presentation-8-638.jpg
Pretty sure women just want men to understand that the clitoris isn’t a myth.
I can’t take a whole day off to find the clitoris
“Who Beat Da Fuq Out Dose People” The Greg Hardy Boy’s Mysteries…This Fall, Only On ABC
Um no. If you invest $21 and don’t add anything else, you will never be able to retire on that, unless you enjoy sleeping in alleys and your drink of choice is MD20/20 (no judgement)
Also, WHY IN THE FUCK DID NO ONE INFORM ME THAT GAINE BLABBERT SOMEHOW WON A FUCKING GAME TODAY
WHAT THE SHIT IS GOING ON
Dear Raiders defense:
THAT IS ALL. THANK YOU.
THIS GAME I CALL IT A DRINK A MIDDLE-AGED GUY WOULD ORDER AT AN ARLINGTON STRIP CLUB BECAUSE IT’S SEVEN & SEVEN
Not pictued: Andy Reid
False. Andy Reid doesn’t anything that isn’t deep fried or slathered in barbecue sauce or cheese.
I wonder if Bradford’s ribcage made a cool accordion sound when he folded over sideways on that hit.
re that Direct TV commercial, what’s your favorite Christopher Guest mockumentary movie.
Hard to say anything is better than Spinal Tap. They all have their charm though…
I’m partial to ‘Best in Show’
Pinenuts. Walnuts. Pistachio Nuts. Red Pistachio Nuts.
“Stop naming nuts!”
Täp, with Guffman a close 2nd.
You should find and listen to the stuff that Christopher Guest, Bill Murray, and John Belushi did for the “National Lampoon Radio Hour” in 1974, before SNL ever existed.
Agreed. “Highway Toes” (from Lemmings) is a great song, too.
I love “Lemmings” and I’ve owned and loved all the classic NL stuff for many years.
BELUSHI: “Can I have your attention please? I have an announcement…”
Halftime Rick and Morty binge. Almost caught up.
I’ve been meaning to do that. That show is so much better when you can rip off 5 or 6 in a row.
That’s not true, it’s equally good no matter how you consume it.
SPEAKING AS A VETERAN, I HATE THESE VETEREN TRIBUTES. KISS MY ASS. GOD BLESS
If there was a tribute to urologists, I could get behind it.
Is it wrong of me to dislike yinzers who have no idea what I’m talking about when I say “Tiny Darren?”
You should set that place on fire
No. No it is not.
No, and it’s okay to also dislike all the other yinzers, too.
Not at all. In fact, it just mathematical probability to dislike virtually all Yinzers. There are a few notable exceptions, though. Namely WCS. And Terry Bradshaw, I guess.
Where are these supposed “yinzers?”
You can and should hate *all* Yinzers, unequivocally.
I would feel much better if they called Greg Hardy, “Greg Hitler.”
The surviving Hitlers could probably sue for defamation.
Nein, nein. My name is Hilter. Und dis ist meine friend Mr. Tibenropp.
I wonder what Costas is going to say about Hardy.
I might actually watch that.
Me too, but I’m not sure if I have time to wipe up all of that smarm that pours out of the television
CHICAGO STREETSWEEPERS
CHICAGO GROCERY STORE STOCKBOYS
CHICAGO Phlebotomists
CHICAGO PROCTOLOGISTS
Why is “Phlebotomists” lowercase?
Mini aneurysm while I was typing
They know what they did.
I bet a sock filled with batteries would make for a pretty good weapon. You could refer to a beating received by such a weapon as a “Philadelphia Stomping”.
The Broad Street Bingo.
OF COURSE IT WAS GREG HARDY
Chicago Med nurse: “I just broke a little girl’s ribs!”
Greg Hardy: “Meh”
I’m laughing harder than I should.
“They’re still edible though, right?”
– Andy Reid
Next: Chicago Sanitation
“Loss of hearing or vision” on Cialis
Does that include yelling, “Oh sorry babe, I can’t hear you over the awesomeness of this rock hard boner I have!”
Decisions. I hate both teams quite a bit, and FUCK THE COWBOYS, but I can’t quite be like…yay Eagles? I should…drink more? Can I wear less pants than no pants? GIVE ME AN EASY SOLUTION, POP CULTRE!
pop… cultre? Looks like we got one of them secret canadians here.
I don’t know where eeees go. EEEEEEEEEE.
1. Take off pants.
2. Wrap brandy bottle in pants.
3. Enjoy warm brandy without pants.
Logic. It’s good.
What kind of silly question is that? YOU CAN ALWAYS WEAR LESS PANTS THAN NONE.
Dallas’s third down defense is sorely lacking.
7 yards and a concussed Sean Lee. That should be Demarco’s goal every down
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