There are only so many corpses to roll out from the NFC East, so some must be saved for Sunday. Thusly, you will be treated to…
Bears @ Packers (8:30, NBC)
Though this may have “third shitshow of the day when one is already sleepy from teh turkey” written all over it at first glance…I wouldn’t be quite so hasty. The Packers have been poop for quite some time, at least on offense. I mean, I am quite likely to start Josh McCown over Aaron Rodgers this week. Yes, a good part of that is me being a fucking lunatic, but still. Plus, Catler’s zen presence has elevated all around him since returning from injury. The Bears qualify as perfectly average right now. Prepare to mute thine teevee boxes early and often, as this is a Favre Slurping Special tonight. Even if it’s physically impossible to deep throat ol’ #4″…Cris and Li’l Bobby Costas are sure gonna try their best regardless.
The Feast of Bleergh has begun. His hunger is mighty.
OH FUCK THIS INSIPID “HE’S JUST OUT THERE HAVING FUN” BRETT FAVRE MEME THAT WILL NOT DIE.
Would I buy a car shilled by Gumbel and Katie the Blade?
No. No I would not.
BMW….you done fucked up.
I don’t understand why Olivia Munn won’t just fucking block someone.
Other than me on Twitter, I mean.
NAWT COLD.
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://pictures.thewebawards.com/1000/95/A-Cat-In-A-Coat.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.thewebawards.com/cats-in-clothes&h=343&w=500&tbnid=I9bLb35tvHkrrM:&docid=QKyLd7-vZF0RKM&hl=en-GB&ei=p7RXVtaoOYXs-QGp067wDg&tbm=isch&client=tablet-android-samsung&ved=0ahUKEwiWmN7CvK_JAhUFdj4KHampC-4QMwgnKAQwBA
I think JustStopDude is having a stroke.
This is official DFO Stroke Weekend ™!
I’m stroking right now. 😉
https://youtu.be/69fPof-ZTnU
I should take a long weekend to Philadelphia. I will go to South Street, drink at Tattooed Moms, wear a [*Redacted] s shirt, and drink shots. Where’s my label maker?
Get a fucking sharpie and write “BAD IDEA THANKSGIVING” all over everything you’re wearing right now.
Nah, it’s not the birth of the bad idea, it’s the execution. Also, I get 50 cents off every drink there, I gotta chip for that.
You do know lots of imaginary lawyers and are already a Doktor, so why the fuck NAWT?
How good are you at paternity suits? I’m gonna want a LOT of batteries.
If I were a Bears player right now I’d be Kyle Fuller.
I just spent a good 5 minutes surveying the apoplexy that is WIP’s twitter feed. I’ve never charted the demise of one town’s teams before. It’s like watching a car wreck for survivors, but only to throw batteries at them.
The local news this weekend is going to be AMAZING.
What do you think it’s like in the Manning household? With Pey-Pey, Elisha, and Coop all watching these games?
Eli has a juice box and is watching Frozen on the tv in the playroom.
Dicky Moe movie….I hope he eats all da peoples…
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-U1RGW56gaA8/ULILIZLLshI/AAAAAAAAZz4/miGoamoM0Rg/s1600/DICKY%2BMOE%2B4.png
Like PeyPey could actually hold a turkey leg unassisted like that.
Catler is comfortable enough in his manhood to wear sleeves. Good for him. I mean, really, what is so macho about pretending it’s not cold?
The goosebumps help secure the ball. Ppl forget that.
Not Snoop…his Old Navy contract says so.
I could watch Julie Louis-Dreyfus dressed like a cat burglar all fucking day. She’s 54. That’s un-goddamned-believable
JULIA. Too lazy to edit
LOL…agreed.
But Snoop also has some Old Navy raddio ads specifically about wearing sleeves and not acting macho in the cold. Turn on WRDU for like 2 minutes….you can’t miss ’em.
Marquis Wilson << Odell
3-12 TD-INT
Nice.
Whaling movie… I want to meet the team of people that thought a whaling movie would sell.
SAY IT!! SAY YOU’RE SCARED!
It’s gonna do great business in Japan.
Big in Japan….tonight
Hey you Oregon people/sour beer fans: We just got Cascade and we opened their Blackcap Raspberry sour before dinner and it was so great.
Is the point of this Walmart hockey commercial that this guy is gonna leave his daughter in the woods?
If he would check the smug little bitch into the trees, I would do all of my Xmas shopping at Walmart.
Wednesday. My coworker said to me “Did you know that Aaron Rodgers was dating Olivia Munn?”
I said, yep, that’s the only thing I know about Olivia Munn.
There was some other conversation, the upshot of which, I learned that Olivia Munn is half Chinese!
I wonder if that’s Rodgers’ Grindr pic?
Hah. That Randall Cobb double-take. “Oh shit, I have to keep blocking?!”
I love the “Fat Eddy Lacy” meme.
JOHN FOX:
and the words to this song
are the words to this song
and the rockets are loud
and am i at football?
oh say does that guy with the ball wait is that jay
in the land of the ball
and the game of away
Phenomenal.
Snow Pellets? That’s not a weather thing.
That’s what snow cats make.
“And the cell phones red glare, the hipster’s beards bursting in air, gave proof through the night, that Hot Topic was still there…”
The face of everyone they’ve cut to is trying to look properly respectful while they internally abhor this version.
CATLER DON’T CAAAAAAAAAAARE…….
Da fuck? They just grab random tailgating idiots to sing the national anthem now?!?
You two! The assholes in matching leather biker vests! GET THE FUCK ON THE FIELD AND SING.
What the fuck is a “Locash?”
It’s the dairy sponsor of Geena Davis’ team from “A League of Their Own”.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vldUu1SuvhQ/TdSg-z5FYTI/AAAAAAAAC1s/MGub6EaUIlw/s1600/A+League+Of+Their+Own+1.jpg
Worst. Anthem. Ever.
Christ. Bro country in fucking CHICAGO too, now?
They’re in the Bay, son! Your ass better represent that cheese curd.
oy, that 3rd vicuprofen musta hit the spot
Oh, so that was the whole point of the Packers sweater? Still don’t care.
All settled in for another evening of making light of Al Michaels’ drinking problem.
It’s my favorite way to call the kettle black.
This is also why I enjoy watching Intervention. I feel way better about myself by the end.
Chris with the sweater vest and long scarf trying to seem sophisticated…. like he’s John fuckin Barrymore or something…
#17 Notre Dame trying to fend off the upset at the hands of Monmouth. Hawks led by as many as 11, now tied with just over 30 to go.
Go Monmouth….even if you are coached by one of my most hated former U*NCCheaters.
Monmouth going to the line, 3.6 left
I like it when any Notre Dame gets beat. Go Monmouth.
No TOs for the Irish…
Monmouth gets the W
I took the long way home, through the downtown, and I have to say, I may be drunk and re-whiskey’d at home, but I live in one pretty ass town.
That time of the night to bring my brother home. Which means riding shotgun with my wife while she brings him home. Thanksgiving rules.
I’m going to work tomorrow. It’s just me and my boss. We have lunch plans. It’s gonna be a hoodie dress hang over minimal work day.
You’re working on Moosemas?!? At least have an alcoholic drink during lunch!
You have to put the hours in if you want to get Bolivia for Moosemas.
Shit, I’m not gonna drink with my boss, but I can just go to the bar downstairs for an hour or two and pretend I’m “in a meeting.” I don’t wanna be sober on Moosemas. The penance is harsh.
How nice of it that Wrangler paid Brett to aplear in a commerical celebrating Brett wearing Wrangler jeans and playing touch football with a bunch of tools.
MURICA WOO
*whips average size penIS out and takes pic*
WHAT’S YOUR WRANGLER STORY?
I just looked up the weather for GB and it said “wintry mix” for tonight. So…that would be neat.
Here’s hoping…
I am lacking in the alcohol today. But this Sunday? YEAH IM GON DRANK.
http://img.ifcdn.com/images/83eec47b105becc7c45bde982bc5ca310832691fe471ff5b4b9d4954baf0ff04_1.gif
I think cava is making its way to my bloodstream. Also, I think my left boob is slightly pointier than my right. Makes sense.
How did you test this? Are you cutting glass or something?
“Brett Farve’s number will be officially retired…”
If you talk to some of the women he’s been involved with, I’m sure some will say it never even existed.
FWIW, Texas Tech and Texas are playing in the pouring rain on FS1. At least Favre isn’t there.
I’m not always this explicit, but when I am I say “FULL ANAL PENETRATION THE COWBOYS”
A certain Hippo just doubled up his imaginary money stack! Well done!
Also, a certain Doktor has got to be happy about the two NFC East embarrasments today.
It’s easy to be ballsy when it’s not real money/real legs getting broken. WOO!!
Totally delish.
“Lots of people are left to wonder, a season of Tony Romo… what could’ve been?”
http://inapcache.boston.com/universal/site_graphics/blogs/bigpicture/hiroshima_08_05/h31_01.jpg
That which has never been never can be. Or something.
http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/x/dried-soil-2306143.jpg
Just made myself the smallest martini in history from the half-shot of gin left in my pantry. Back to whiskey.
Heard near Brett Farve….”Is it in yet?”
Everybody in the stadium should raise their pinky finger in his honor.
I’m stuck going shopping with the family that hosted me today. I was at a Kohl’s earlier. They had two lines for the registers. One went all the way to the back of the store, and wrapped around halfway across. The other only went halfway back. Guess which line I got in to wait for everyone.
Now at Walmart. I refused to go in.
Standing by the car to make sure that no one breaks in to steal the TV bought at Kohl’s.
The blatant consumerism is the greatest argument I’ve ever heard for Edward Bellamy.
I just buy shit online. I don’t understand this “physical store” nonsense.